CHAOS - Goodmonth 5, 585


Finally, six days after entering the dungeons you descend to the third level. The previous party entered this area but did not progress far before splitting up and scattering.

At the bottom of the shaft going down from the level above is a large archway facing east. It was apparently bricked up at one time but is now passable. The tunnel beyond is littered with broken bricks. The tunnel runs for a short distance before there is a stairway going down for 50' to the east. At the bottom is a second archway facing east. Through it you see a small chamber (20' X 30': 10' north, 10' south, 20' east; door in middle of east wall). The place is in a state of disrepair. It is rough-hewn from the surrounding rock, with large wooden pillars and beams now beginning to dry rot. A wooden coat rack hangs crookedly on the north wall. The east door is open and made of now rusting metal. It has a small, barred peep hole at eye level.

Through the doorway is a room (20' X 20': 10' north, 20' east; door in south wall west corner; door in east wall south corner; door in north wall east corner). This place is in a similar state as the first room. A half rotted wooden table and a rickety chair are the only furnishings. The east door is of heavy metal with a barred peep hole in it. The other two doors are of wood.

Tassier moves up and searches the metal door for traps.

He finds none.

He then checks the two wooden doors.

He finds none there either.

Tassier says, "They are untrapped."

Dithion says, "Should we come up with a method for exploring or just go willy nilly?"

Chilgith sighs and says, "Willy nilly, of course!"

Dithion says, "What do you guys think?"

"I agree," nods Stump. "You can't put too much logic into these places."

Dithion says, "I agree. I always like the right door."

He goes over and opens it up.

This door opens into a store room or closet (10' X 20': 10' south, 10' east). In here are racks, shelves and a pair of empty barrels.

Opening the east door, you confront a cell block (overall 30' X 40: 10' north, 10' south, 40' east). To your left and right are four barred off cells (each 10' X 20') made with closely spaced iron bars. The cell doors are all open and each cell contains only a thin metal platter and a ragged pile of cloth and sawdust that might have once been a mattress. There is graffiti scrawled on the walls of the cells, mostly in the common tongue. A set of tally marks, numbering 394 in all, covers one section of a wall of the southeast cell. A number of tic-tac-toe games have been scratched in the wall near the bars between the northeast and northwest cells. A number of recipes for chocolate mousse are scratched in crude handwriting on the walls of the northwest cell. Magical symbols and numbers adorn the walls of the southwest cell.At the end of one incomprehensible string of symbols is written the word 'Eureka!'. The wall and floor near this point are blackened, as if by a small fire.

When you are done in here you open the last door in the previous room, to the north. You find yourselves at the end of a 10' wide passage running east...for 70' in total. At the end in the south wall is another door...hanging open on one hinge. In the 20' - 30' section as measured from the west wall, the north wall of the passage has been breached...there is a rough hole there. There is evidence that it has been walled up...then broken open again from the other side.

You move down to investigate.

Looking through the opening, you see a long, natural cave (roughly 20' west, 30' north, 40' east; 10' wide opening in middle of east wall). Various broken and empty barrels lie scattered about in here. There is a spring and pool of water in the northeast corner.

Dithion says, "Let's check out the door first."

He walks over and opens it just as Tassier says, "Wait!"

Tassier shakes his head and says, "I could have checked for traps..."

You peer into a 30' X 30' room (10' east, 10' west, 30' south). This was a small kitchen. A heavy table with two chairs stands in the centre, though it is dusty and covered with spider webs. A few cupboards along the east wall stand open and empty, with a few rat gnawed bags and casks still inside. A small fireplace is set in the south wall, with a couple of logs in it along with lots of ashes.

An odd smell like licorice can be detected faintly near the cupboards and fireplace.

Stump searches the place and tries to find out what the source of the licorice is.

When Stump pokes around in the ashes two giant black snakes which look like licorice explode outwards!

Once coils itself around the fighter.

Stump calls out, "HELP!"

He is squished for 2 hit points.

Dithion charges forward and attacks with his magical hammer.

Attacking the other snake, the cleric bops it and kills it.

Tassier magic missiles the one on Stump and then moves around to try and back stab.

His two missiles injure the snake slightly.

Chilgith also magic missiles the snake that is coiled around Stump.

The snake dies, releasing Stump.

Dithion says, "I wonder why they smell like licorice?"

Chilgith says, "Maybe to attract vermin and children. Oops, didn't mean to be redundant there."

Just when you think you have them all killed, a third snake drops out of a cupboard, coiling itself around Chilgith! The mage has his neck wrung for 3 hit points of damage.

Oh Well moves in and attack the snake. The mighty warrior strikes the creature easily with Longsword #1 and the snake expires.

"Hey!" says Curly, picking up a dead snake and biting its tail off. "It IS licorice!"

"You knucklehead!" says Moe, then takes a bite himself. "You're right! Hollow licorice!"

Searching the room turns up nothing else, so you head back to the opening in the north wall of the passage outside and explore the cave on the other side.

It is a long, natural cave (roughly 20' west, 30' north, 40' east; 10' wide opening in middle of east wall). Various broken and empty barrels lie scattered about in here. There is a spring and pool of water in the northeast corner.

Wandering about the cave, you find nothing threatening and nothing of value, either.

You look through the opening to the east, and see that it opens up into a tunnel...in total at least some 60' long (you cannot see the far end), running to the east. The tunnel width varies from 20' - 30', and the eastern half of the tunnel is filled with water. This is a fast moving underground river, you discover when you go in to investigate, and is bridged by a swaying, creaking decaying bridge of wood and rope.

From where you now stand at the west end of the bridge, you can see that the river is 30' wide...and beyond that is a rough passage, running north - south.

Tricky Dicky tests the sturdiness of the bridge before setting foot on it.

Much to his surprise the bridge seems quite solid and sturdy.

Tricky starts to cross the bridge.

Dithion follows close behind.

You all cross the bridge without any problems.

"The passage it is." Stump marches forward.

Not to be outdone, Dithion hurries to catch up.

Tassier and Chilgith smile and follow. Chilgith says, "That one will get killed trying to be the first everywhere!"

Tassier just shakes his head with a smile. "Too bad he is the cleric!"

Tassier keeps his eyes peeled and watches the back for anyone coming up from behind.

The passage runs north - south and is of roughly finished stone, about 10' wide.

To the north it opens up into a cave after 20'.

To the south it runs for 20', turning east after 10'.

Stump gets out a coin.

"Heads it's north, tails its south." He flips the coin and it lands heads. "North it is."

Dithion chuckles. "Let's go!"

You proceed to the cave and look in. It is odd shaped (right wall runs east for 20', north for 10', east for 10', north for 20', west for 40' (10' wide passage running north in last section), south for 10', west for 15', south for about 15' and then southeast to close up. This open cave has several empty metal torch holders set about 3' from the floor. It is very clean for a cave and has a small spring dripping into a pool of water in the western section.

Searching the cave turns up nothing so you continue up the north passage.

This passage runs for 20' and the first thing you notice upon entering it is a smell of strawberries which gets stronger as you proceed. Then, you see a pink, jelly-like wall or cube moving slowly down the passage towards you.

Tassier takes a big bite out of a large piece of licorice. He says, "I wonder if that thing is edible."

Chilgith says, "I think it might be a gelatinous cube!"

Dithion says, "It looks yummy to me."

Tassier says, "We should probably try missile weapons against it. Although I don't have any missile weapons. That probably wasn't wise, but I do have one spell left."

He magic missiles the creature.

His missiles blaze into the strawberry cube.

It keeps on coming.

Chilgith says, "I have a lightning bolt I could use."

"Lemme at 'im!" says Curly, jumping up and down.

Chilgith says, "Let me soften it up a bit first, Curly."

He casts lightning bolt on the critter as you retreat before it.

The lightning bolt blows the monster to bits, splattering you all with bits of sticky, wet jelly.

Tricky Dicky, who had taken out a wand, puts it away again.

Searching its remains turns up three spoons, a small dagger, a flour scoop and a glowing bread knife.

You continue your advance.

After 20' you come to another cave (odd shaped: left wall runs north for 20', east for 20', north for 10', east for 20', south for 20' (10' wide passage running east out of northernmost section), then more or less southwest to close up). This cave is bare and uninteresting.

You look up the east passage.

It runs for 20', turning north after 10'. It is illuminated by a small torch set in a sconce in the north wall about 3' above the floor. The torch is half burned down. Looking north, you see that the passage continues for 5' and perhaps further, but your view is blocked by a heavy curtain made of woven vines which hangs from floor to ceiling.

"Let's look see what's on the other side of the curtain!" suggests Larry.

Dithion nods, "Let's do it!"

He moves up and peeks behind the curtain.

Chilgith says, "Do you suppose those vines could come to life?"

Tassier shrugs and says, "I have this magical knife that can be used against bread. Maybe it can be used to saw through vines."

The vines do not come to life as the cleric parts them and takes a look.

Beyond the curtain the corridor continues for 10', turning left after 5'. All is dark but quiet.

You move through the curtain, up the passage and take a look to the west.

Beyond is another cave (30' X 50': 20' north, 50' west, 10' wide tunnel exiting out of west wall south section). The cave's walls seem to glow very, very dimly of their own accord. There is a strong odour of decay in here, as if from a compost pile. Decaying stalks, leaves and clippings can be seen scattered about. The shapes of large mushrooms can be seen in the gloom ahead.

Suddenly the party notices the movement of something white amongst the shadows.

It bears a bit of a resemblance to a short, pudgy creature as it runs into the opposite passage and disappears from view.

Chilgith says, "Why is it running?" He looks around and then says, "Should we try to talk to it? It is so cute."

Dithion shrugs and says, "I wonder if it is edible. I am all out of snake."

"He might be baking something." Dicky smacks his lips.

Tassier smiles and says, "Let me go see if I can see what it is doing."

He sneaks over and tries to spot the creature.

"I don't trust that thing," Stump remarks. He goes to chase it down.

Stump hurries past Tassier and towards the other exit. However, as he passes some of the mushrooms, they start to shriek!

"WHEEEEEEE!!!"

Stump tries to slice the mushrooms.

Dithion, Tassier and Chilgith all pitch in as well to try to silence the wailing fungi.

As slices of mushroom go flying and the wailing continues the dough boy pops out of his hiding place and runs around the cave in a panic.

"No, no!" he cries.

Then he tries to make for the entrance that you came in by.

"WHEEEEEEEE!"

Dithion and Tassier step in the way and say, "Hold up Dough boy! What is all this about?"

The creature runs into Tassier, bounces off of him and lands behind first on the floor.

"No, no! Let me by! You don't understand!" he says, bouncing back to his feet. "They will come!"

Stump grabs the puff-boy and asks, "Who will come?"

The puff-boy feels as if he is made of dough.

"Ow!" he says with a giggle. "The gummy guards, of course!"

Tassier says, "Maybe we should hide so we can ambush them?"

"Yes, we should all hide!" the dough boy replies, rubbing his tummy.

Dithion says, "Where will they come from?"

"Through that door!" He points back to where he was initially hiding.

Dithion nods and says, "Let's hide then."

He grabs the dough boy and says, "Keep quiet!" He then moves away from the shrieking mushrooms and hides behind some other large mushrooms.

Tassier and Chilgith do the same.

Stump, as well as Tricky and Oh Well, quickly hide out of sight as well.

With lights extinguished you hide and wait. A faint glow from the walls and the ceiling allows you to see.

Ten minutes pass. In the meantime the shrieking mushrooms gradually go silent again.

Finally, you hear a door open to the southwest and a moment later two creatures come into view. They look like a cross between a man and a bear, big and muscular, but made of some flexible, transparent material. One of them is red; the other is green. Each carries a short spear made of candy cane plus a shortsword.

They move slowly into the cave, stop, and look about.

After a moment they spot the white form of the dough boy.

"Clumsy dough-thing!" says one of them, as they walk towards you. "We'll teach you!"

"Oh Nooooo!" says the dough boy.

Stump attacks the red creature, while Oh Well attacks the green creature. Tricky tries to attack the first creature from the back.

Chilgith magic missiles the red one.

"Aaaaagh!" says the creature, as the missiles nearly kill him.

Tassier moves through the mushrooms quickly and tries to come up behind them for a sneak attack.

Dithion charges forward and attacks with his mace.

The red creature lashes out at Stump with his shortsword but misses.

"Surrender!" he says.

Stump ignores him and cuts him down.

"I guess that's a 'no'," says the green one, as he confronts Oh Well and Dithion. Oh Well lands a heavy blow as this gummy bear misses him. Dithion almost connects. Oh Well makes one more swing and the green creature drops as well.

Then, before your eyes, the bodies transform into cute, 1' tall jelly babies of humanoid shape.

The dough boy bounces up to you.

"Oh, thank you for saving me from the gummy werebears!" he exclaims. "Now I can get back to work!"

"Back off dough Boy, I'm not your type," Op Code holds his sword in front of him.

"Yer right, Stump," says Moe, rubbing his eyes. "Right now I'm hallucinating that a character from another game has just joined us."

"Another what?" says Larry.

Moe slaps him.

"Shaddap!"

"I'm sorry," says the dough boy to the hallucination. "I'm asexual, so you don't have to worry. And you can call me Poppinfarsh."

Tassier says, "Can you tell us more about this place, Poppinfart?"

Chilgith nods. "That would be helpful."

Dithion will look around for anything valuable in the room. If nothing, he will go kill off the rest of the shriekers.

While Dithion deals with the mushrooms, Poppinfarsh tells you a tale.

"Long ago," he says in his cute, squeaky little voice, "three wonderful chefs lived in the Castle of Greyhawk far above our caverns. They were the greatest chefs in all the world and everyone loved them. Chef Molenhowad, Baker Larifyne and Candymaker Kurlenshembes were known by everyone as the finest of men and the greatest of chefs.

"But one day they had a tiny accident in the kitchen and a meal they prepared was a bit less marvelous than usual. The cruel nobles then imprisoned the poor chefs in a deep dungeon until they could redeem themselves by creating a meal so wonderful that everyone could see what great chefs they really were.

"Imprisoned with the chefs was the mighty wizard Galomohgen, who had also fallen from favour with the nobles of Greyhawk. One day, the chefs and Galomohgen escaped into the caverns adjoining their deep dungeon. Pursued by evil men, they fell into the underground river and were thought drowned. But Galomohgen's magic saved their lives and they escaped into these caves.

"Aided by the mighty wizard, they built new homes and created me to help them. The old wizard died after a time but he taught the Great Chefs wondrous and magical ways to prepare food so they could continue their search for a magical meal that would win them a pardon from the Lords of Greyhawk. Perhaps someday the lords will be satisfied and the chefs will reenter the Upper World. And maybe...just maybe...they will take me with them so I can at last see the sky and the stars and all the things they have told me about!"

With that, Poppinfarsh gathers up his little hoe, shovel and wheelbarrow.

"Now I must take you to meet the Great Mentu, who is the chief servant of the Great Chefs," he tells you. "Great Mentu is sometimes impatient," he warns, "and he's awfully scary. But strangers from the Upper World must meet him. I am sure he will present you to the Great Chefs as honoured guests!"

Dithion says, "Ok, let's go then."

Tassier says, "Uhm, what if it is a trap?"

"It is not a trap," says the dough boy. "I am too simple to think up of a trap."

You set off behind the dough golem. He leads you back to the previous cave (where you killed the strawberry cube) and to a previously unnoticed secret door in the west wall (south section). On the other side is a rough stone passage, 30' long, turning north after 20'. Around the corner it runs for another 20', then opens up into a cave (about 20' X 30': 20' west; 30' north; passage running west out of middle of west wall; passage running north out of north wall east section).

The little fellow leads you down the west passage, which ends after 20' at a door. Opening it, you leave the area of rough passages and enter an area where the stones have clearly been worked. The passage before you runs for 70' and ends. There are doors in the north wall, 40' - 50' section and the south wall, 50' - 60' section. Poppinfarsh leads you to the second door, knocks and opens it.

He enters and you all follow.

You are standing in a 30' X 40' room (10' west, 20' east, 30' south; door in east wall north section). It is lit by more of the small glowing globes that you saw in the greenhouse area.. The walls are covered with cabinets and the open floors are covered with alchemical symbols. A fireplace with a huge oven is set in the west wall. The oven is open with a large metal platform pulled half way out. No fire is built below so the oven is cool. A large table lies in the exact centre of the room.

Sitting on a stool behind the table, looking over several pieces of parchment, is a strange, rather frightening looking creature. He is over 7' tall when he stands, you estimate, and his body appears to made from various cuts of meat. His thighs are huge hams, his arms are legs of lamb and his fingers are sausages. His head is a rather poorly preserved octopus.

"How dare you interrupt me again, Poppinfarsh!" he exclaims, looking up. "I've a good mind to make popovers out of you!"

"Master mind-fileter, I have visitors!"

"Do not call me 'mind-fileter'!" the creature says, cuffing the golem. Then he spies you, and his tone changes abruptly.

"Forgive me," he says with a garish smile, "It has been a long time since we have received visitors. I am Great Mentu, first servant to the Great Cooks of Greyhawk in exile. It is my humble duty to see that they are not disturbed in their work, and that they have all the supplies that they need for their creations. How may I help you?"

Dithion looks over the creature and says, "Do not hurt Poppinfarsh, he is under our protection now."

He pauses and says, "Where can we find these great cooks? We are exploring these dungeons and I would like to meet the owners if they are the owners."

Tassier says, "He sort of looks like a mind flayer."

Chilgith nods and gulps.

"The Chefs cannot possibly be disturbed at this time," he replies. "What parts of these dungeons have you already explored? Are you heading to the lower levels?"

Stump asks Dithion to see the map.

Tricky eyes the room.

Oh Well has his hand on the hilt of his sword just in case trouble starts.

Dithion describes the areas the group has been in. "Why can they not be disturbed at this time?"

"They are very busy at this time," he replies. "What is it that you are seeking?"

"Oh, we are seeking adventure and treasure. Can you point us to some treasure?"

"There is little treasure on this level," he says sadly. Then he brightens up. "But perhaps I can help you. I know of a secret tunnel that goes down into the depths of this dungeon where none of us has ventured in recent years. I will take you there, if you will give me a bit of assistance first."

Dithion says, "Oh, what assistance do you need?"

"Come with me," Mentu says, rising. "I just need you to carry a few things. The gummy werebears are too clumsy for the task."

Tassier whispers to the doughy guy, "Can we trust this guy?"

"Oh yes!" says the dough golem.

Dithion says, "Uhm..."

Tassier and Chilgith shake their heads quickly.

Dithion continues, "Sure, no problem, we can help you."

They follow Mentu.

Mentu goes over to the locked door in the east wall and opens it. Beyond you see a smaller room (20' X 30': 10' south, 30' east). This room is cool and dry. In here are 15 man sized forms wrapped carefully in wax coated parchment. Mentu lurches over to the first one and unwraps it, and you see that it is a large loaf of unbaked bread dough.

"If you could carefully carry these into the next room and place them in the oven?" he asks.

Dithion seems skeptical. "Are these all dough for bread? I cannot help you if there is a human, halfling or other sentient creature wrapped in this parchment!"

Chilgith nods.

Mentu looks pained.

"What do you take me to be?" he asks, sounding hurt. "I have a heart, just like you do. These are just large loaves of uncooked bread dough."

Dithion says, "My apologies, the size is what through me. Since we must take them out of the parchment before cooking, I suppose we would know if there was more than dough here."

"Let's get this done, then," says Chilgith. "Who would have thought we would be working in the kitchen on this adventure?"

Mentu gives you a garish smile.

Tassier says, "Well, this one isn't a human or whatever so let's just get it done with!"

He goes to see how heavy it is by lifting one end.

It is bulky but easily lifted.

Tassier carries it over...he pauses and says, "Where do you want these exactly?"

The creature hurries past you back into his office, and opens the oven door.

"Please slide them in here."

Moe, Larry and Curly also each take a dough form as well and carry them in, as do Tricky Dicky, Oh Well and Stump.

Dithion sighs and says, "Ok, let's all pitch in and do this."

Everyone pitches in and carries the dough in.

Once done, Dithion says, "So, where is this passage?"

Mentu says, "Thank you so much. Let me take you to the passage."

After locking up the storage room door again, instructing Poppinfarsh to stoke up the fire and turning over an hour glass, he leads you out of his laboratory and across the hall. Opening the door there with a key from his key ring, you see another room (20' X 50': 30' east, 10' west, 20' north; door in west wall north section). The room is not opulently furnished but looks comfortable, with a couple of nice tapestries hanging from the walls. There is a bed here as well as a table which is covered with papers and notes.

Mentu leads you over to the door, which is locked. Unlocking and opening it, you see beyond a walk in closet (10' X 20': 10' south, 10' west). In here are a number of items of clothing hanging from pegs and racks. Several of the robes look quite valuable.

Mentu pushes these clothes aside, revealing the north section of the west wall. Pressing on a hidden stud, a secret panel slides aside, revealing a 5' wide rough stone tunnel running west for 20' but turning south after 15'.

"This is the way to the lower levels," says Mentu with a gesture of his arm. "I do not know what lies down there."

Tassier says, "Thank you!"

He heads down the tunnel searching for traps as he goes.

Dithion nods, "Thank you, lord chief."

He follows Tassier.

The rest of the group follows next.

"Have a good time," says Mentu as he closes the door behind the last of you. "Bru-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

You hear a lock being thrown.

Chilgith says, "I have a bad feeling about that guy."

Dithion nods. "Maybe we should head back that way."

Tassier replies, "I guess I could try to unlock it, although if the lock is on the other side, we will have to break it down."

Dithion considers for a moment and says, "Let's keep going then."

Chilgith looks back at the door and says, "Ok, but I still have a bad feeling about this."

Tassier chuckles.

"Yeah, we'll get him later," says Moe.

Tassier says, "Let's hope not. If he is an enemy, it would be unwise to leave him behind."

Dithion nods. "Let's just keep moving forward."

Tassier continues checking for traps as the group moves along the tunnel.

Rounding the corner to the south, you see a small alcove on the left.

Sitting in the alcove is a gummy werebear, like the ones you fought in the mushroom room.

"Stupid fleshies! Me kill!" he says, and attacks!

Dithion says, "We will see about that!"

He charges in and attacks.

Tassier tosses a dagger as well.

Chilgith fires a magic missile spell off at the gummy werebear. "Be careful not to be bitten!"

Chilgith's magic missiles slam into the monster as Dithion attacks! The cleric misses, but so does the gummy werebear.

Tassier's dagger hits it, though, but still it does not drop.

Moe jumps in, swinging his battle axe...but he misses too.

Larry follows and misses as well.

Next, Dithion wallops the creature and it drops.

Searching the alcove that it lurked in turns up nothing, so you continue south down the passage.

After 20' the passage turns west again, remaining 5' wide. It runs for another 20' and ends. There is an iron door in the last 10' section of the north wall. After doing the usual checks you open it.

Shining your lights about, you see a roughly shaped room (30' X 50': 20' west, 50' north; door in middle of north wall; door in middle of south wall). The north door is made of heavy iron, as is the door beside you. The room looks more like a natural cavern than something that was deliberately dug out of rock and stone. The roof is dome like and rises 20' above the rock strewn floor.

Sitting on the floor 10' away from you is an 8' tall monstrosity of baked goods - the Gingerbread Man.

The creature rises to face you, and you see that he is of flattened grey-brown gingerbread of unusual toughness and his arms and legs are outlined with icing. His body is studded with crushed nuts and oversized raisins.

He extends his arms and moves to attack you!


By this point one player had dropped out and the other stopped posting, so the adventure ended. It is assumed that the party found a way back to the surface and out of the dungeon.


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