You sit around your campfire as your breakfast cooks, inspecting the treasure you took and discussing how it is to be divided.
So far, here is how it looks...
1 travelling spell book, blank - Occa
3 standard spell books, blank - Occa
1 travelling spell book: Otiluke's telekinetic sphere, power word blind - Occa (but willing to share)
1 standard spell book: monster summoning 6, mind blank - Occa (but willing to share)
Scroll: mending, push X2, comprehend languages, taunt, precipitation, unseen servant.
ring of invisibility - Jesse
wand "elzaperoo"
scroll: unreadable by MUs and clerics
ring of human influence
wand
6 potions
scroll: protection from water
scroll: C2: resist fire X2
potion: diminuation
scroll: protection from undead
wand of magic missiles
robe
necklace
potion: clairaudience
cloak
potion: healing
scroll: MU4: stoneskin, polymorph other
potion: healing
scroll: C3: prayer, remove paralysis, locate object, cure disease, glyph of warding, water walk
potion: speed
longsword - used by Dani
6 darts
potion
1 standard spell book (level 1-3 spells) - Occa (but willing to share)
1 standard spell book (level 4-6 spells) - Occa (but willing to share)
1 standard spell book (level 7-9 spells) - Occa (but willing to share)
1 standard spell book - unreadable by MUs
1 standard spell book - unreadable by MUs
1 standard spell book - unreadable by MUs
potion: giant control
scroll: protection from magical blunt weapons
potion: longevity
scroll: protection from magic
scroll: protection from water
Occa then asks Valdar, "Valdar, I have a question. I know I am now a drow, and I also know that drows can only gain so much power with magic. Is there a way, that you know of to overcome this limitation?"
"The easiest way would be to change you back to a human," replies the elf lord. "Barring that, you could have wishes cast to enable you to advance. There are also many books, tomes, magical items and artifacts that could help you."
"Hmm, wishes? That doesn't sound good."
"I have a arch mage friend who does wishes for maybe 250,000gp each. Sometimes she has them on sale for only 100,000gp."
"Would one wish do the trick? Or would there have to be 1 wish per training session?"
"Errr, beats me," replies the elf. "Wishes are funny things, from what I've seen. I heard of one guy who made such a wish and instead it increased his abilities."
"Any suggestions on how I could change back to a human? Maybe a polymorph would work..."
"Shall we try..?"
Occa says, "Oh well. Anyway, if you have polymorph, could you use it? I am not really a very good drow."
"I can do that. What would you like me to polymorph you into?"
"Back into my original human form."
"Boring," says Valdar, and casts the spell.
There is a puff of green smoke (added for effect), and suddenly Occa is back to his old, sedate, human self.
"Doubly boring," observes Valdar.
Dani cackles, after seeing Occa change back. "Why did you want to do that? You were much more interesting as a Drow ... I didn't even get a chance to see if certain things were ... different ... if you know what I mean." Again she cackles, spittle flying from the corner of her mouth.
Occa smiles and says, "Well, honestly, my first love is magic and elves aren't very good at it."
"Not very good at it?" huffs Valdar. "Maybe that's the case where you are from, but it isn't here!"
Occa says, "Sorry, no offense, but if that were true, you wouldn't need the wishes, would you?"
"Secondly, and no offense to any elves here, but what they say about them...you know, being less well-endowed is...well, in a word, true."
"Speak fo' yo'self," says Valdar, and swaggers away.
"Well, there are always excpetions to the rule."
He smiles and then says to Valdar, "What? You wanted the stay puff marshmellow man? "
Dani raises her brow, "Really?" She asks in disbelief. "I can't imagine that. Prove it..." She says sweetly.
Op Code tells Dani "If that isn't sexual harrassment, then I don't know what is. How come when men make a remark about women, you have us up on charges. But when women make a remark, it's all in fun?" He walks away grumbling to himself.
Occa smiles and says, "Well, I would have thought a woman with your experience would know this."
Dani blushes suddenly and changes the subject. "Well then, shall we go? Have you all had enough of this haggling?" She grins again and turns to go.
Occa says, "Well, we have to resolve the items. It would also be nice to identify the items. Let me ask again...does anyone have the spell identify? It is a spell of the first power...and is called identify. Dani? Op Code? (he's a mage right?) Valdar? Of course, I suppose we could do all of this on the road...so whatever everyone wants to do..."
Op Code, upon hearing his name, turns around and, pulling out his gleaming longsword, says "Does this fine weapon look like one a mage would use? I am a ranger. What did you think this suit of plate mail was, an illusion?"
Occa takes off some dark shades and says, "Alright, who switched my raybans for these gag-glasses?!?" He says to Op Code, "Sorry...I thought that was a big wand..."
Occa says, "You could also ask if the robe is a robe of the arch-magi or useful items. Hmm, you could ask if the necklace is a necklace of adaptation."
"I don't know about you, but I met this half-elven woman on the Rock of Bral who was a cleric of Aphrodite. WOW, those 36 hours qualified as a religious experience. No offense to my lord, Thoth."
Occa says, "Well, a female is another story..."
"Valdar, since you know these parts better than I, do you know who Eduardo Sel Do Carrath is ?" asks Salaam.
"I have been wracking my brains over that name, and it just does not ring a bell. Of course, they could have been made into vampires many years ago...perhaps centuries past...perhaps even before my time. When I return to civilization next, though, I will make inquiries.
"That reminds me...Orlon, I was drained by one of the vampires two days ago. Could you be so kind as to beg Thor to restore me?"
Op Code tastes the 7 remaining unidentified potions.
Orlon says "As for the other stuff, i can cast a 'commune' spell to find out more info. As for Dani, Salaam, Occa, and Jesse, forward me any questions that you would like me to ask, and I will try to geet them answered."
Orlon will cast commune and start asking:
1. Will wearing the necklace that I have asked for from this pile of items, pointing to the above pile, have a baneful effect on me?
"NO."
2. Is the magical cloak I possess a Cloak of Displacement?
"NO."
3. Is the staff that I possess, which has the command word MONTY, a staff of Power?
"NO."
4. Is the rod that Op Code owns a Rod of Ressurrection?
"NO."
5. Should I ressurect Who Knows?
A hand reaches down out of the heavens and slaps Orlon around.
"YOU ALREADY HAVE, YOU DUMMY!"
Orlon talks to the gods "You never told me if I was successful or not!"
"WE THOUGHT YOU'D BE ABLE TO TELL WITHOUT OUR AID..."
At that moment Who Knows goes prancing by in a pink chiffon tutu, tossing little flowers hither and yon.
6. Are there any cursed magical items in this pile, re: above pile, of items?
"BELIEVE IT OR NOT...NO!"
7. Pointing to the scroll unreadable by MUs or Clerics, Orlon asks "Is this scroll useable by druids?"
"NO."
8. Pointing to the longsword that Dani wants from the pile, Orlon asks "Does this longsword have more magical properties beyond increasing the wielder's chance of hitting and damaging an opponent?"
"NO."
9. Does the wand in the pile (below the ring of human influence in the list) have a command word?"
"YES."
10. Is the robe in the pile of items a robe of eyes?
"YES. HOW DID YOU FIGURE THAT OUT?"
11. Does the longsword Dani is asking for increase the wielder's chance of hitting by >10%
"YES."
12. Is the necklace in the pile a necklace of prayer beads?
"NO."
Occa says, "You could also ask if the robe is a robe of the arch-magi or >useful items. Hmm, you could ask if the necklace is a necklace of adaptation."
Orlon obliges for the second question (you now know what the robe is):
"YES."
Phil will ask the others "Do any of you want any questions asked about anything? You seem to want to find out about stuff. Just tell Orlon what you want him to ask."
Orlon says to Occa "Some of us are in debt for things like training. I say we divide the treasure up between the characters."
Occa says, "Well, if you are willing to help me pay for my training, then I don't see why I couldn't help you...my point is that I don't need any money right now...others do, so let them have it. Of course, I might need a wish...."
He pauses and says, "However, if that is the consensus, then that is fine with me."
Jesse smiles, "I will try to see if I can identify any of these items. I do not know the spell you are talking about. Perhaps one of you may be able to teach it to me?"
"As for the bardic abilities, if am item has been used in some legandary battle, or is similar to one of legands, I may have a chance as to what the item might do, however it is imprecise at best, and usually there is little to learn from it."
"For example, Dani's sword. There are many types of magic sword in the world, and her's could be one of the more common variety, or it might be an extraordinary one. Most likly the former. However, I will look and see what I can do."
Jesse looks at each of the unidentified items...
1 travelling spell book, blank - Phil
2 standard spell books, blank - Occa
1 standard spell book, blank - Phil
1 travelling spell book: Otiluke's telekinetic sphere, power word blind - Occa (but willing to share)
1 standard spell book: monster summoning 6, mind blank - Occa (but willing to share)
Scroll: mending, push X2, comprehend languages, taunt, precipitation, unseen servant. - Phil
ring of invisibility - Jesse
wand "elzaperoo" - Dani...Jesse knows nothing of this item
scroll: unreadable by MUs and clerics...Jesse knows nothing of this item
ring of human influence - Op Code
wand - Dani...Jesse knows nothing of this item
6 potions - Op Code feels that he can be a rainbow (remember the Rolling Stones song..?) "Rainbow hues!" exclaims the bard. "They allow you to turn colours!"
scroll: protection from water - Orlon, Phil
scroll: C2: resist fire X2 - Orlon
potion: diminuation
scroll: protection from undead - Phil
wand of magic missiles - Jesse, Phil, Salaam
robe - Op Code, Occa..."This looks like the sort of robe that only a magic user would be caught dead in," says the bard.
necklace - Orlon, Occa...Jesse knows nothing of this item
potion: clairaudience - Orlon
cloak - Op Code, Occa..."Obviously a cloak of elvenkind," says Jesse. "Look at the weave."
"Didn't I tell you that already, back when we found it?" says Valdar.
Occa says, "Oh, I forgot..in that case, I don't want it and withdraw my name."
Occa then says to Jesse, "Hey, could you look at these two wand and book that I took from the community chest a long while ago? I haven't had them identified yet."
If Jesse is willing, he hands over the items for inspection.
"I'll try."
Jesse has no more luck in comprehending the book than Occa does.
"Oh, scorch marks at the business end!" he says regarding one of the wands. "It must concern fire!"
The second wand he does not recognise.
potion: healing - Op Code, Phil, Oh Well
scroll: MU4: stoneskin, polymorph other - Phil
potion: healing - Op Code, Phil, Oh Well
scroll: C3: prayer, remove paralysis, locate object, cure disease, glyph of warding, water walk - Orlon
potion: speed - Op Code, Oh Well
longsword - Dani..."Clearly a very powerful weapon," says Jesse. "Look at the craftsmanship!"
6 darts...Jesse knows nothing of these items
potion of fire resistance - Phil
1 standard spell book (level 1-3 spells) - Occa (but willing to share)
1 standard spell book (level 4-6 spells) - Occa (but willing to share)
1 standard spell book (level 7-9 spells) - Occa (but willing to share)
1 standard spell book - unreadable by MUs
1 standard spell book - unreadable by MUs
1 standard spell book - unreadable by MUs
potion: giant control - Oh Well
scroll: protection from magical blunt weapons - Orlon, Phil, Oh Well
potion: longevity - Orlon, Phil
scroll: protection from magic - Orlon, Phil, Oh Well
scroll: protection from water - Orlon, Phil, Oh Well
Who Knows, waking up from his stupor, yells out "Hey, what about me. Don't I get some of the loot? Just because I happened to die in the dungeon, doesn't mean I should be excluded. Besides, if the shoe was on the other foot, I'd do the same for you. Well how about it?"
Who Knows starts eyeing the cloak in the pile "That is a lovely cloak" He puts his name into the hat for it. He will also put his name in for the Prot from Magic scroll, the potion of speed, and the ring of invisibility.
And so it goes...