Several days pass and still you hurtle down through darkness. Lo has made a full recovery. Your bladders are bursting.
At last, the scene outside begins to alter. The sky starts to brighten, takes on a reddish hue, and the stars fade. The air seems to become hazy. Then, ahead of you, you see land.
By this time the sky is quite bright, but the air seems laden with either smoke or dust. The land ahead seems parched and totally barren, and spreads out in all directions to the limit of your vision. At first few details are visible; then you start to notice that the terrain is rough and undulating, with tumbledown hills and rock piles virtually devoid of plant growth. Then, you notice a line of something on the ground. From this height it is impossible to tell just what it is, but as you continue to descend more details become visible. Suddenly you realize that what you are looking at is a four lane highway slicing across the cratered and pocked face of this plane. Lined up, bumper to bumper on this road are four parallel rows of vehicles like the one you are in; only all of these are unmoving, dead and rusting in the heat. Two lanes face in one direction, two lanes face the opposite way. The highway and its bizarre traffic jam stretch as far as the eye can see in either direction.
You are not high above the surface of the plane now and the Volvo comes out of its long dive, flying low over the highway. It is looking for a place to park...
The Volvo lands with a mighty thud on a dusty patch of highway, skids, and crashes into the rear end of a 1998 Ford Contour. A moment passes while you sit stunned. But for the sound of something hissing under the crumpled hood, there is silence.
Then, there is a mighty rush, as you all struggle to escape the Volvo. Outside, even the foul, sulphur tinged atmosphere of Hell seems pure and refreshing after the stench from the diapers.
You rush for the bushes and relieve yourselves.
A short time later you gather by the Volvo and take stock of the situation.
That you are again in Hell is obvious. However, this seems to be a stretch of the Highway To Hell that you have never seen before. Looking about, you spot the enormous mountain that Set's slaves are building...only going by its size you are much farther away from it than you were previously. The landscape around you is still arid, dismal desert, though.
Close by, perhaps a hundred yards from the edge of the highway is a small square building, perhaps 5' on a side. There is a door on the side facing you, and cut into the door is the image of a crescent moon.
Four yagnodaemons stand around the building, maintaining a guard. They regard you curiously.
"Cripes," Emm mutters. Expecting only silence as an answer, Emm asks "Hey Bubba. Are you awake?"
He gets no reply.
He asks, "Wasn't there a longsword in Razbag's study? Mind if I borrow it while we are in this place?"
"If we give it to you now, it'll be that much harder to identify it later."
"Occa, can you teleport us all back to the pirate island? We don't really want to be down here again, do we?"
Gilstrock pulls out Hangnail and hands it to Emm. "Here, use Hangnail for now. I dunno if it works real well in Hell or not, since I haven't paid close enough attention to how well it cuts. But back home it's a Sword of Sharpness, which I use near water after a few unfortunate experiences with Thawbreaker here."
Gilstrock pats the Frost Band paternally a couple of times during this last phrase. He continues, "Just remember to give it back when you're done."
"Gee, Thanks Gilstrock. Your nobility is revealed in this generous loan. But do not worry, I will return it to you. For Bubba gets jealous, when he is awake," Emm laughs.
Suddenly your reverie is interrupted by the sound of sleigh bells from overhead.
Looking up, you see a red sleigh pulled by eight reindeer and piloted by a large, bearded jolly looking old man in a red suit flying towards you. The back of the sleigh is taken up mostly by an enormous sack, filled to overflowing with gaily wrapped packages and toys.
"Ho-ho-ho!!!" he cries, as the sled skids to a stop before you. The jolly old man jumps up, and, taking his sack, hops out of the sleigh and comes over to you. He quickly gives each of you a package, then returns to his conveyance.
"Ho-ho-ho!" he says one more time, "On Donner, on Dasher, on...on...the rest of you! Ho!"
The reindeer and sleigh take flight again.
"Hey! How about us??" cry the yagnodaemons, angry at being left out.
"You weren't good this year!" replies the jolly old gent, and he disappears into the hazy, hellish sky.
For a moment you ponder the implications of this strange encounter, then your materialistic instincts take over and you tear the packages open.
Inside each you find experience points...22,811 (or 25,092 with bonus) for each of you; except for Robert, who only gets 12,546.
"It sucks being an NPC," he laments.
The daemons, though, are acting like grinches, as they advance on you.
"Kill! Kill! Kill!" they say, as they move to attack!
Darian sighs and draws his frostbrand. He fires a round of magic missiles at one and then meets it with his sword. His spell does not affect the yagnodaemon.
Emm angles to get in behind one of the Daemons for a sneaky back thrust.
"Oh shit," Lo says as he takes out his dagger and prays to whomever listens that he doesn't have to use it as he feels like Wesley/Dread Pirate Roberts from "Princess Bride".
"KARRRRRRRUMBA! Xmas presents fer youse daemons! Cummin git it!" yells Gonzo as he prepares for their attack.
Darian shouts to the others. "Guys! Gonzo and I don't want to take all the fun so how about helping out. Gil? Robert? Occa? Orlon? We could use your help!"
"Huh?" Gilstrock says, extracting his forefinger from his nose. "Oh!"
He draws Thawbreaker and forms up with Gonzo, Darian, Robert, and the others to make a defensive line, to meet and attack then daemons when they get too close.
The battle begins, as suddenly the yagnodaemons teleport into your midst, and go to work on Jesse, Robert, Orlon and Gonzo with their tol-kendars.
The first daemon impales the bard with his body wrecker for 35 hit points as he also jolts her with a blast of electricity. She struggles to strike back with her shortsword but misses.
Robert is also skewered and shocked for 27 hit points. He connects with his blade, though, inflicting a minor wound on the monster.
Orlon tries his luck at turning the yagnodaemon now attacking him, without success. Then he is caught for 35 hit points of damage.
Gonzo is missed. Using his shortsword he lands a solid hit.
Darian rushes to help his bride of three months, and connects handily with his frost brand.
Gilstrock rushes to Orlon's aid and nicks the daemon. His next hit is somewhat more effective.
Emm attacks the daemon on Robert from the rear, but misses.
The battle continues...
With an evil giggle the yagnodaemon sends another shock through his tol kendar into Orlon for 15 hit points and then pulls the weapon out of the cleric for another 1 hit point. Orlon grits his teeth and swings Big Bruiser at the monster, but misses.
"Leave him alone, you overgrown... something!" Gilstrock says in a loud and confident voice that belies the pathetic nature of the battle cry, as he continues to attempt to dispatch the daemon attacking Orlon.
The stubbly warrior lands two solid hits on the daemon, which gets his attention. He turns from Orlon to wield his body wrecker against Gilstrock.
"Oh... that hurt," the bard says and tries to attack with her sword.
Occa sees the danger Jesse is in.
Occa opens up on the daemon on Jesse with 3 magic missile spells. His second spell gets through as the daeom shocks Jesse for 18 hit points and yanks out his tol kendar for another 3, leaving a gaping wound in her abdomen. Jesse drops unconscious before she can connect with her sword.
Occa's third missile spell does not penetrate through the monster's resistance. He follows with a power word kill.
The daemon drops dead.
Darian heals Jesse.
Jesse regains consciousness to find that she is healed and her husband is holding her. The yagnodaemon lies dead beside her on the ashy ground.
Three daemons remain.
Robert, stuck on the end of another body wrecker, swings his blade and misses. He is jolted for 21 hit points and injured for 5 more when the monster pulls his weapon out of his body. He swings his sword again but misses a second time.
"Ye gods," Emm mutters in frustration. He continues to strike at his foe and miss.
"Kaaaaaaarumba! Youse bad bad bad daemons!" Gonzo yells as he continues his attack, making obscene faces at his combatant as he fights.
Gonzo turns the daemon's tol kendar aside just in the nick of time and buries his blade into the monster. His next swing opens another gaping wound, and the daemon howls in pain.
Now that the dameon is attacking Gilstrock, the blond warrior says, "Eh, got your attention, did I? Here, eat this!"
He then presses the attack with Thawbreaker.
Orlon takes the diversion in the daemon's attention rush over to Robert and try to cast cure critical wounds into him, if possible.
The yagnodaemon on Gilstrock thrusts at him with his weapon but misses badly. The warrior grazes him with his blade, then lands a more substantial hit.
Luckily for Robert, the daemon attacking him also misses with his tol-kendar as his swing goes wide as well.
Orlon touches Robert, healing him for 21 hit points.
Thanks!" says Robert, as he continues the battle.
"Does this thing work?" Emm asks as he misses again.
Darian breathes a sigh of relief and kisses Jesse on the brow. "I have to go help."
Darian stands up and attacks the closest monster.
That is one that Robert and Emm are trying to deal with. The elf connects, landing a minor hit.
Occa casts 2 lightning bolts at the daemon on Robert. Of course, he will aim upward to catch the upper halves of the creatures without getting his party.
Both of his bolts overcome the monster's resistance, blowing it to bits.
Gonzo sidesteps an attack by the last daemon and then guts the creature.
One daemon remains, on Gilstrock.
The warrior barely avoids being hit as he fans with his sword. He next swing is dead on, though, and the yagnodaemon dies.
Searching the monsters, you find nothing.
You head over to the outhouse that they were guarding.
Walking around it, you immediately discern that this is no ordinary outhouse, for is has a door on the side facing the highway, and a second door on the side facing away from it. Most unusual.
You also find some goodies: 3333gp, 13 gems (10gp ea.) and 4 jewelry (2000gp ea.)
Looking at it quizzically, Gilstrock asks, in all seriousness, "One for number one, and one for number two?"
Looking at the others, he says, "Who wants to go in first? Or do one of you mages want to do one of your funky look-through-walls things?"
"Occa, can you get us back to the pirate island? There's little point in staying here."
"There must be a reason we are here. Plus, we may be able to find Raz this way."
Darian shrugs. "If you want. But, not too much longer, okay? I'm running out of healing."
"Sure," he says absentmindedly.
Gonzo immediately inspects it for any traps.
He spots none.
Occa says, "Interesting. It is either extra-dimensional or has some stairs leading downward. Let's find out."
Occa casts unseen servant and has it open the door not facing the highway.
Opening the door, you are looking into the passageway in the dungeon under Razamataz's house...the one that leads to the room where you found the Volvo.
Occa says, "Fascinating! We need to remember this one. Gotta get the land that his house is on once he is dead. Let's check the other door."
"Occa, if we're going to continue, then we should get everyone healed up. Okay, wounded, line up!"
Darian heals himself and then everyone else that needs it.
Occa waits until everyone is healed. He makes sure his stoneskin is up and will cast invisibility on himself.
Occa sends the unseen servant around to open the other door.
A different scene is revealed.
You are looking across the parapet of a tower. Crenelated battlements run about its periphery. It overlooks a valley through which a river flows. The hills are clad in leafy green trees.
It is evening, and down in the valley you see the lights of a village or town.
"That looks like a nice place," Gilstrock comments absently.
"Mighty nice place to be offen hell... me dinks," says Gonzo.
"Master Occa-san, if I may, I would like to request the time to train as I believe I would be a greater asset to you and our companions If I was at full strength and ability!" Lo says. "Also, heh," he adds with a blush, "may I borrow the funds to do so, and I will repay you soon?"
"Sure, once we get out of being in a combat zone."
"Thank you, Occa-san," he says with a wide smile.
Occa casts wizard eye and sends it through the doorway. He looks back to see if there is a doorway that would allow entry back to hell.
Looking back, the eye sees a blank curving wall of stonework, about 10' high. He runs the eye around, and discovers that the wall forms a circle (actually a cylinder) about 10' in diameter. There is a wooden door on the opposite side. It is painted green, and it is closed. Sending the eye over the top, he sees a peaked slate roof.
Viewing the scene from around the perimeter of the tower, Occa sees that it is constructed on a wooded hillside. The tower is perhaps 100' high, narrowing towards the top. However, the tower is not straight up and down, but rather angles off in one direction for a story or two, then another for a few more, and then a third for another. He wonders how it stays upright. Going by the stonework, it is clearly quite old.
He sees a path winding off through the trees from the base of the tower, perhaps leading down to the village.
There is another green door at the base of the tower.
There is a small outbuilding perhaps 50' from the tower. It is also of stone, and looks like a small barn or stable.
Occa relays this information to the rest of you.
Ruth speaks for the first time in days.
"I think my part in this has ended. I led you by a secret way to Razamataz's house and got you in there. Now, I want to return to Casablanca. I don't like Hell, and I do not know where this other place is."
"Razamataz and Rockchin spent quite a few years in Eastern North Amrica, after they split with Stiff and Leslie," says Robert, peering cautiously through the second doorway. "I'll bet that's where this tower is."
He turns to Occa.
"Maybe we should get Lo trained so he can begin to pull some weight around here before we continue after Razzy?" he suggests.
"Works for me, Master Occa-san!" Lo says with a smile.
Occa says, "Ok team, quick vote. Where do you want to go? Back or to the townhouse?"
Darian shrugs. "Anywhere where we can rest and regain our spells."
During this time, Occa will memorize the location of the tower as best he can.
"Fine," says Occa. He reopens the other door and sends his eye through. It is clear so he says, "Let's move through. Back to Raz's townhouse."
You step through the doorway, and find yourselves back in the passage. To your right you know is the secret door which leads into the room where the Volvo awaited you.
Behind you is a blank wall.
"I agree," Orlon nods his head.
Occa sighs. "Ok, Ok, I get it!"
Occa says, "Do you guys want to stop now for a couple weeks or keep going?"
"I was thinking only long enough to recover our spells. Not for training. If those are two choices, then keep going."
"We can do that next time we camp. Sound reasonable? Why didn't you do it in the car ride down to hell, anyway? That was days."
"I did. It's my psionics that are close to be drained though. We took a fair amount of damage against those demons."
"How long to recharge?"
"If I'm sleeping, a few hours. Just resting 4 or 5. Just walking around, I regain strength, but it takes longer."
"We kin train soon enough... lets find someding else ta kills first," offers Gonzo.
"We haven't finished searching Raz's place," Emm says. "we were interrupted by that boxy thing called a Volvo. Seemed safe enough while we were in it, though."
"Dats what youse says... me still stinkum like human pottee place," grumbles Gonzo.
"Well, let's keep exploring."
Occa sends his wizard eye forward.
You head west down the passage...then north...then west again, before reaching the secret door that leads back into the treasure room. After Gonzo and Emm pronounce it quiet, you open it and pass through.
The room is as it was previously.
Gonzo and Emm check out the secret door in the east wall, which leads into the library where you battled the furniture. As they listen, perplexed expressions come over their faces.
They tell you that they hear what sounds like a band tuning up in the next room for a performance.
"Somebody gonna sing?" Gilstrock asks hopefully. "I could belt out one of my beer songs!"
Occa says, "Anyone have X-ray vision? Or should we just go in there again?"
Darian shakes his head to the first question. "I think we just have to go in there again."
Occa nods. "Let's go."
He has his unseen servant open the door.
The door opens as the music starts.
As for what you see, the library has been cleared of its previous furnishings - those that you did not destroy during your last visit here five days ago. Now, you see sixteen humanoids in here. There is a band of a dozen orcs - or, as their ilk refer to them, an orc-hestra - playing various musical instruments while three orc-babes in fancy evening gowns sing back up.
The lead singer is an enormous half orc. Swarthy as the night is his skin, and his face is ugly even for one of orcish blood. A single hairy eyebrow runs unbroken above both of his red-rimmed eyes.
His voice, though, is quite pleasing.
The music suddenly stops as they notice that you have opened the door.
"Hey! What're you doing here? Spoiling our rehearsal?" the half-orc demands, glaring at you.
Emm says nothing. He waits to see what develops.
The monk remains quiet, but looks around to make sure that the "orc-hestra" doesn't have additional members elsewhere.
Darian shrugs. "Apparently so."
Gilstrock just grins sheepishly... but his hand is very close to Thawbreaker's hilt.
"And what're you doing here?"
Darian shrugs again. "Trying to figure out where the music was coming from and who was making it."
Occa nods. "It was very nice."
"That's a stupid question! It came from here!"
"Well, when we first heard the music, we didn't realize it came from here. It was only when we got to the door that we knew. And then we wanted to know who was making the music."
"Stupid elf," he says.
Darian grins. "If that is what you wish to believe, do so."
Occa nods again. "Do you all know your way around here? We need a guide. I am willing to pay in gold."
"Of course I know my way around here! I run this place!"
"Really? Do you own it or run it or both? We are looking for the owner."
"I run it. The owner isn't here," the half orc replies. "How did you get in here?"
"It is a secret. When will the owner return? Also, will you guide us to a waiting room?"
"The hell it's a secret!" the half orc replies in the charismatic fashion that is their way. Then, he pauses. "Yes, I'll guide you to a waiting room!"
"Ok, show us the way, then."
The orc chortles, and heads to the door in the south wall of the library. You follow, with the orc-hestra bringing up the rear. Opening it, He leads you through what can only be a mage's laboratory (20' X 30': 10' east, 10' west, 20' south). There is a door in the south wall, which he opens, leading you into a small, simply furnished bedroom (20' square: 10' west, 20' south). He goes over the west wall, south corner, and taps it...and a previously unnoticed secret door pops open.
You see a larder (20' square: 20' west, 10' north). There is a door in the north wall east portion and a flight of stairs in the north wall, west portion. This place is cool and dry. It is filled with boxes, barrels and sacks.
The half-orc leads you upstairs. You pass through another pantry (odd shaped) and into a hallway running south. At the far end is a door, which the half-orc opens, revealing a common room ( 20' X 30': 20' west, 20' south; door in east wall south corner, windows covered with drawn curtains along the south wall). In here are a number of pallets. At the base of each is a small chest.
One of the pallets is occupied by a sleeping man. Clearly a warrior by his build, his snores are deafening.
"Wait here!" says the half-orc, and he leaves you there with the recumbent man, closing the door behind you.
Gonzo checks the door (a) to see if it's been locked (b) to see who may still be on the other side if it is open by peeking out.
The door is locked.
Time passes.
Eventually the sleeping man awakens, glances at you without interest, puts on his armour and belts on his weapons.
Going to the door, he takes out a key, unlocks it, and exits.
You hear the door being locked again.
A short time later another warrior enters, locking the door behind him. He goes over to another pallet, strips, and falls into it, asleep almost immediately.
Some time later a maid brings in a large tray filled with steaming dishes of food for you.
You eat.
The food is good, though the cuisine is somewhat unfamiliar to you.