May 3, 1371

Two days pass before Occa steps out of his tent / laboratory with two accomplices.

One is a brand new Cannon Fodder...full sized and just as obnoxious as ever.

The other is a dead spitting image of the magic user in the party who fireballed you.

"I am Acco-lite," he says, bowing. "I am pleased to make your acquaintance."

Occa tells you what he has learned from Acco-lite...

***

>> "Whot can I tell you?" the simulacrum of the magic user asks you.

> >Occa smiles and says, "Can you tell me who and what lies ahead of us on

>the level we were exploring?

"Ummm...I don't know."

I would also like to know more about the >entire mountain...any other beasties you know about and how to get >there.

"Lots of dragons to the east...but first you have to get by the Three Barriers...Air, water or fire. There are big nasty monsters in each of them."

Also, where is the main section of this stronghold?

"To the east."

Finally, >how did you know we were in the room next to you?"

"I don't know."

>> "Lots of dragons to the east...but first you have to get by the Three >> Barriers...Air, water or fire. There are big nasty monsters in each of >> them." > > >What kinds of barriers?

"The air barrier is an enormous shaft...rising from somewhere in the depths to far overhead. I don't know anything about the water barrier...except that it's water. The fire barrier is a large volcanic lake of magma."

What kinds of monsters in each of them?

"In the air barrier are dragons, large birds and other avian creatures...devils and dinosaurs. I guess there are water-dwelling creatures in the water area. In the lake of magma are salamanders, fire elementals, giants and more lower planar types."

What >more can you tell me of them?

"That's about as much as I know."

> >CAn you provide me any other useful information?

"What do you want to know?"

Can you tell me >about the magic items we got from your group?

"I know that the field plate that the cleric wore helped his AC a bit," the simulacrum replies, "His mace doesn't do a bad job, either. He had a potion of speed and a bag of tricks, too. The leather armour that Bob the fighter wore helped to protect him. Other than that, I don't know anything more about the stuff. Oh, wait. There's a cursed scroll in our treasure pile...it's pretty funny..."

***

"Anyone else wanna quiz him?" asks Occa.

The weather is very warm but stormy. All of you are healed.

A somber faced Gonzo will step up to Acco and peers at him closely, while squinting slightly with his right eye.

"Yer sher dis here 'mulcrudo is safe Mr. Occa? Hmmmmmm" he says, looking the simulcrum up and down.

He then blasts the fellow with question after question, hardly giving the simulcrum a chance to breath between his barrage.

"What wuz yer job fella?"

"The real Acco's job was to blow things up."

"Who did youse do yer foul werk fer?"

"Tiamatlet."

"Where is Roget? Kin ya tell us where he hides his chicken butt?"

"He's dead. Over a year, now."

"We knows diz hole is divided up into strongholds... be der odder entrances ta dez places ye speak about or does we haf ta go in drew dem chambers of air, fire and water youse speaks about?"

"No, there are other entrances. All but two of them take you into the chambers of air, water or fire, though. The secret exit/entrance opens to the northeast...and there is also an entrance into the main halls themselves."

"Haf ya ever heard about da halls of Gallahad and kin youse point us in der general direction?"

"Yes I have. The halls are splendid...and must have been even moreso when the dwarves controlled them. They are east of here."

"Tell us about Tiamatlet... what kind o' creature is dis beast?"

"An enormous dragon..."

"Whut know ye about der plans?"

"I don't know what their immediate plans are."

"What do dey seek in dis world?"

"Money and power, I should think. I gather that they want to rule over this entire coast."

Breathing heavily, he then turns on the bound prisoners...

"What kin ye tell me about Roget?"

"Who?"

"What kin ye tell me about dis creature Tiamatlet?

"She's big an' evil. Just bein' in the same area gives me the willies," says one of them. "Some say she's not from this plane...but is some sort of devil..."

"Well, we have a decision to make," says Pharian to the group. "Air, water, or fire? I have had bad recent experiences with fire..." He looks at Darian. "...and I have never much cared for water. So I say we try air first."

Darian holds out the fire wand. "Do you want to hold it for me? It might be less dangerous for all involved... And remember, I only helped finish what the mage in the other party started..."

Pharian laughs. "No, I don't want to hold it. I already have a wand of fire on loan from Occa. But every time before we go into combat, I want you to say quietly to yourself three times, 'Don't cast fireballs in a small space... Don't cast fireballs in a small space... Don't cast fireballs in a small space.'"

"I panicked. I saw the magic-user gesturing again and I knew that I wouldn't be able to disrupt him before he got his spell off. The wand seemed like the perfect thing. Besides, they had just cast a fireball spell without any apparent harm to them, I figured that I would repay the favor. It never occured to me that they could have some sort of protection. I mean, I figured that one of you would have used something like if there was such a thing... Go figure..."

BrightAxe will second air.

"Well, first we have to find the way to this barrier of air," points out Valdar. "Are we ready to head back in?"

"I'm ready to head back in. But, should we spend some more time investigating the loot more closely before we leave?" asks Darian.

"Darian's right," says Pharian. "It would be stupid to head back in before we know what all these items do. One of them might be useful. Maybe Acco knows the command words, by the way-- we should make him tell us them."

BrightAxe keeps quiet about his feelings of dependancy on magic instead of one's skills, and goes along with the party if they want to look at every magic item.

"I am not Acco," says the simulacrum. "I am Acco-lite. Acco is dead."

Laughing, Orlon asks Acco-lite "Are you the new and improved version, or do you just have less fat between the ears?"

"OK, OK, whatever," says Pharian. "The question is whether you can identify the magic items and tell us the command words."

"Maybe," replies Acco-lite.

Pharian looks peeved. "Maybe, my ass. If you can, do it. Cut out the coyness-- you're just a goddamned snowball, or whatever it was Occa made you out of."

"You don't have to be insulting. I can't help being what I am," says Acco-lite. "And, I have already told Occa all that I know about the magic items. Didn't you hear him relate that information just a moment ago? I do not know what the command word for the wand is."

Unless something looks extremely necessary for our excursion into air, BrightAxe recommends we leave at once.

It has been two days since you returned from your last foray...all of you are healed, now.

Angst speaks.

"I don't care which way we go, but I would agree that fire is not a good omen and I cannot survive in water for any length of time without some powerfull spells."

"Have the items been identified so that we know what their relavent strengths are"

"Have you been able to figure some things out Occa?" Orlon asks.

Occa replies that he has not identified anything...he has spent the last two days making simulacrums.

"Before we go in, could one of the mages analyze the full extent of the powers of this sword ?" Al asks as he handles the khopesh sword carefully.

"There's nothing I can do with your bloody sword, Al," snaps Pharian. "Leave me alone and go bother Occa."

"Touchy, touchy.. I think you need a woman.. shame those women were vampires, it looked like they could have given you a good time !" Al remarks with a grin.

Nudging Al, Orlon tells him "Maybe Jesse can do him a favor or two."

"Orlon, I am not going there, I would rather go back to those vampires than deal with an assault from her majesty, Jesse." Al replies with a smile.

Jesse spins around when her name is mentioned. "Finally. Finally, you recognize my true value. You may call me Your Royal Majesty." Jesse says as she begins to laugh hard. "Don't you men know how to handle a woman? I'll give you a secret, chocolate."

"So that's all I need," Al remarks with a smile, "Oh great Horus please grant your servant the delicacies that this woman desires." he intones as he casts a Create Food and water spell. Before Jesse appears, a large jug of ice cold chocolate milk and a giant platter of small chocolates. "Please Jesse, its all for you," he says as he pops a chocolate in his mouth.

Darian sighs. "I can help identify things. Jesse, Pharian, Valdar and Occa, care to help?"

"If no one has any objections i would like to take the ring and possibly the leather armour" says Angst. "Then we can get back into the fray"

BrightAxe is ready but will wait if the others want to do the magic items. He'll hum to himself inanely, sit, and play with his toes until everyone is ready to leave.

Occa seems to snap to again.

Occa says to Acco-lite, "Tell us the command words to the items you know about. Also, what is so funny about that cursed scroll?"

Occa says, "I can also identify things...in fact, I feel that I can now teach all of you this new identify. Still, I doubt it will come as easy for you as it does for me."

"I'm quite willing to learn..."

Occa says, "If we all pound the magic items with identifies...then we should be able to get everything done very quickly."

Occa, Cannon fodder #2, and Acco-lite will start to identify the items. Any other help will be accepted.

"As soon as you teach it to me, I'll help."

"Likewise," says Pharian.

Occa takes the time to teach the new identify to any who wish to know it.

"I don't know any command words," Acco-lite replies. "As for the scroll, it's just funny. It won't kill you. Why don't you look at it?"

Occa says, "Why don't you look at it Acco-lite."

"Because...it would be more fun if you did."

Occa says, "Oh, okay." He takes a look at the scroll.

Suddenly Occa is turned into a giant, animated egg...something like Humpty-Dumpty...

Acco-lite cracks up...figuratively that is.

"'Told you it would be funny!"

Valdar regards Occa.

"I think I preferred you when you were a drow," he says.

"I think I prefer the other simulacrum," says Pharian.

Occa says, "Great!" He waddles over to Orlon and says, "Could you remove curse, please?"

"Yep." Orlon tells Occa while snickering. Remove curse is cast upon Occa...and he is restored to his so-called normal, non-eggy form.

After teaching Darian and Pharian Identify 2nd ed, Occa, the simulacrums and those two fellows settle in for an identification session...

scroll: wind wall

wand: CF2, Occa, Pharian: involves fire Darian, AL: nothing

field plate: CF2: nothing Occa, Darian, Pharian, AL: provides protection better than full plate and shield

shield: CF2, Occa, Pharian: provides protection equivilent to splint mail Darian, AL: nothing

The simulacrums fall asleep at this point.

shortsword: Occa, Darian: nothing Pharian: increases the weilder's chances of striking a target

field plate: Occa, Darian, Pharian: provides protection equivilent to field plate and shield

Darian falls asleep at this point.

mace: Occa, Pharian: improves the weilder's chances of striking an object

potion: tasting this, the imbiber sees all around him slow down for a moment...

scroll: protection from water elementals

bag of tricks: Acco-lite told you what this was

leather armour: Occa, Pharian: provides protection equivilent to that of leather armour and shield

travelling spell book: read magic, magic missile, knock

ring: Occa, Pharian: gives the wearer some sort of aquatic ability

scimitar: Occa, Pharian: improves the weilder's ability to strike a target

full plate armour: Occa, Pharian: provides protection equivilent to that of full plate and shield

potion: tasting this, the imbiber feels a little younger

potion: tasting this, the imbiber feels that they can hear far off places...

pouch: Occa, Pharian: looking in this, they see that it contains some 50 small pockets...each about 1 cubic foot in volume. The identify spell tells them that items within the pouch can be accessed merely by speaking the name of the item desired.

Darian wakes up and says, "I'd like to put a claim in for the following items..."

> shield: CF2, Occa, Pharian: provides protection equivilent to splint mail

> Darian, AL: nothing

> > pouch: Occa, Pharian: looking in this, they see that it contains some 50 > small pockets...each about 1 cubic foot in volume. The identify spell tells > them that items within the pouch can be accessed merely by speaking the > name of the item desired.

Occa says, "Ooooohhhh! I want that pouch...that would be great for spell books." Occa turns to the party and says, "Shall we divy up?"

Here is the magic list:

a potion - clairaudience

leather pouch - girdle of many pouches/accessability - darian, occa

a scroll - protection from water elementals

a scroll - wind wall

a wand of fire

some travelling spell books - read magic, magic missile, knock

a suit of field plate +3 (or better)

a shield +5 - darian

a shortsword +something

a suit of field plate -

a mace - + something

potion - speed

potion

scroll - cursed

bag - bag of tricks - occa

suit of leather armour - +1

another travelling spell

book

a ring - aquatic ability - angst

scimitar +something

a suit of full plate armour - +1

potion of youth or longevity - occa

Angst also puts in a claim.

"AS requested I would like the ring and the armour, i would also put in a claim on the shortsword to replace one of these swords."

"Maybe we could try the water barrier" he says with a small grin.

Occa writes down Angst's response. "Since you are a ranger, I would assume you mean the full plate armour? Is that right or do you expect me to read your mind?"

"Sorry I actually ment the leather armour"

"I only request further research on my khopesh sword.... I claim no items this time around. Occa, could you legend lore my sword or have wither of the simaculrums do it, I would be grateful !" says Al.

Occa says, "Al, I would be glad to legend lore your sword if it would only make you shut the hell up."

He pauses and says, "Has Jesse tried to figure any of this out? Jesse? Aren't you a bard?"

"Jesse, my dear, can you give Occa a rude gesture for me" Al asks Jesse sweetly... "and any help is always appreciated, there is more chocolate in it for you !"

Jesse flips Al the bird. "Al, let me use short words so even a Paladin as you can understand. Yes, I like chocolates, but no I am not some 'animal' you can get to do your bidding by offering me a treat. Women need to be wooed, not taken for granted. It's a good thing you are not a bard. Tell you what. I'll dress as a guy and the next time we hit a town we'll both go into an inn and try to seduce some female there. I'll bet you anything that I will be successful and you will not." says Jesse, throwing the gauntlet down.

"Boy am I out of practice.. there was no offense meant... aah, women, can't live with them... can't sacrifice them to the nearest evil deity !! Ok, Jesse, I won't argue, the chocolates are a gift because I know you like them. Nothing more..... for no other reason !! You women are too much !!"

Acco-lite says, "Sure you can!"

When Al looks his way eh says, "Sacrifice them to the nearest evil diety...." he trails off and says, "Well, you could if you wanted to..." He looks around and says, "Well, I guess I will go sit by the fire."

"OCCA," Al yells, "if you weren't helping me out, I would skewer this thing right now, regardless of the time and energy you put into this good for nothing mage." he says with a feral grin as he decides to let things be and take a walk on my own....

Occa ignores All.

Cannon Fodder #2 giggles.

Acco-lite says, "Well, I am not all bad...I mean, I used to be, but now I am dead. Occa won't let me be bad, but I can be naughty." he smiles and says, "Want some company on your walk, big boy?" He winks at Al suggestively.

"Al... Al... Al... It's attitude and presentation. You coupled asking me to do something with a reward. Bad move. We'll talk about this later, you and I. Trust me." the bard says to the retreating Paladin.

"Fine," Al says with his back turned.

Jesse replies to Occa, "Well, yes I am a bard, and no I have not tried anything becuase Al never asked me. Besides, I am not from this place and do not know the history of this world that well so it is more difficult for me to identify things unless they are of 'great' power." she replies to Occa.

Occa says, "Oh, sorry, I thought you were of this world for some reason. That makes a great deal of sense in that case."

"Thank you" Al says as he hands over the sword to Occa.

Occa takes the sword and returns to his tent / lab, then pauses before he goes inside.

Occa says, "Oh Al, I just realized that the spell requires the sacrifice of a small magical item. What can you provide for that?"

"Occa, I believe I have been of sufficient service to the group that if there is a minor item in the chest that can be used, claim it as one of my own and then use it. I care not what..." Al says in reply to Occa's request.

Occa will take a potion of animal control from the community chest for the legend lore.

"Thank you, Occa !" Al says with a grin.

Cannon Fodder #2 giggles at what Jesse says to Al and says, "You go girl!"

He snickers again and then goes to tease the dwarves about what wimps they are (all the time making sure he can keep away from them should they run after him).

BrightAxe tries to sneak up behind Cannon Fodder #2 and tackle him from behind to engage in a 'friendly' wrestling match.

Cannon fodder #2 will show BrightAxe a little wrestling trick called "Mr. Flexo's Rope of engtanglement"...

As an added insult, Cannon Fodder will then tickle BrightAxe with a feather.

return to May 1371 page