Time flies, and suddenly it is July 22nd, 1371. Darian has just completed his training...and it has been close to two months since you last ventured into the Halls of Galahad.
The first ten days of July here in the mountains were unusually hot and humid. Since then the weather has been unusually cool and wet for high summer as the monsoons have moved in. It has rained every day since the 13th and for the past week the daytime highs have barely touched 50F.
Occa and Al have returned from Sandas.
"Praise Horus.. well met all.. His temple has begun construction and it is time to make this place safe for the kin of Galahad !" Al says with a wide grin, eager for battle.
BrightAxe is ready to head inside a comfortable mountain and get out of this monotonous rain.
Occa says, "Ready to go?"
Occa says to Darian, "How was your training? Do you feel more powerful?"
Darian flexes his muscles and with a grin says, "Don't I look more powerful?"
Occa laughs and says, "Oh yes...you sure do!"
"Right, so let's get to it..."
Occa then says, "Everyone ready? Cannon Fodder #3 will be joining us whilst Cannon Fodder #4 stays home."
"How many Cannon Fodder's did you create?"
Occa says, "Just two this time."
"Oh are they named #3 and #4 to commemorate the first two that died in combat?"
"Yes, of course...but you might not want to mention death to them...Occa's are deathly afraid of death and prefer to avoid it any chance they get." He smiles and winks.
"I won't say anything. That'd be cruel."
"You created Mr. Fodder?," BrightAxe asks incredulously. He checks out the new Mr. Fodders, "That magic sure does sound scary, what god gives you this power?"
Occa teleports the lot of you to the chamber where you made short work of the dragon several months back...and where a death slaad almost made short work of you.
"Be prepared in case something has moved back into the dungeon spaces we have cleared."
"Bring 'em on! I'm ready."
"I bet they have if it's been months," intones BrightAxe.
Surprisingly enough, though, all is silent, dark and deserted.
Recall that this is a large octagonal-shaped room. The vertical and horizontal walls are 30' long; the angled walls are 20'. A flight of stairs runs down to a previously explored level (though there is an unexplored level below that one, you remember) out of the southwest wall. A 30' wide passage runs southwest out of the south wall. A 30' wide passage runs east out of the east wall. A 20' wide passage runs northeast out of the northeast wall. A 10' wide passage runs northwest out of the midpoint of the northwest wall, more or less. And finally, a 10' wide passage runs west out of the west wall, 0' - 10' section as measured from the north.
Gonzo licks his finger and checks the edges on his blades.
"Me dinks me ready fer some chop-chop and Karumbaing... dis sittin on our keesters is makin me lumpy. Lez go!"
"Isn't this where we met that death slaad thing?" asks Darian.
Occa says, "Yes, and we were a much more powerful group then...we are much weaker after that explosion. Let's hope we don't run into it again."
"Occa, if we need some more fighters, you can make a copy of me and I will give him Claw. The more that are devout to Horus the better !" Al says with a grin.
"Woah!" Gilstrock says loudly. "Slow down! Occa, don't rush into anything. Whatever happened to going in to town to recruit? Warriors needed, action guaranteed, slice of reward, all that?"
Occa says, "Why don't we just make do with what we have right now?"
"That sounds good too," Gilstrock says. "Just so long as you don't go making more Al's and -- worse! -- more Saddam's."
Occa says, "Let's head West down this 30 foot passage!" Occa turns invisible, casts unseen servant, and wizard eye...sending it ahead.
He moves in that direction.
With Saddam drawn, Al is ready. "Saddam, continuously scan for evil so we do not get ambushed.. thank you !" he says with a smile as he puts a grim grin on his face expecting the worst.
You head southwest.
"No evil! No evil! No evil!" says Saddam continuously as you move ahead.
The passage runs for 60' and on, as measured along the right wall. In the 20' - 30' section of that wall is a passage heading west...for 30' (right wall), after which it dead ends in a blank wall facing west.
You continue southwest.
"No evil! No evil! No evil!"
In the 80' - 90' section of the right wall is another passage...running north, and in the 100' - 110' section is a third passage...also running north. The passage ends after 120'...in a wall facing south. A large set of double doors is set in this wall.
You look north up the first passage, and see that it runs for 50' (right wall) and then opens up into a chamber.
"Evil! Evil! Evil!" says Saddam, changing his tune and pointing at the double doors.
"Does three evils mean that it's more intense evil, or that you're lonely after Al hasn't held you in the past month?," asks BrightAxe.
"Both!"
"Quick Saddam!" Gilstrock says. "Kill the doors!"
"Let's rock this joint !" Al says as he lights a stogie, takes a few puffs, and get ready for some combat. "Aid your servant, oh great Horus !" he intones as he casts an Aid spell on himself.
Darian casts strength upon himself, bringing himself up to 18/31, and then draws his sword.
"Okay, are we ready to rumble?"
Orlon looks up the north passages before casting prayer.
He sees that the second north passage runs in that direction for 60' (right wall) and on. The first passage has already been described.
Occa says, "Okay, let's go then!" He casts fly on himself, flies over to the doors and a bit above them and then he casts knock on the double doors.
The doors spring open, revealing a mid-sized cahmber (30' X 30': 30' south; 10' wide passage running south out of centre of south wall' 10' wide passage running east out of centre of east wall).
Blocking your view, however, is a big blue dragon.
He immediately breathes a forked lightning bolt on the two people in front: Al and Arrrgh!
Both warriors manage to dodge the worst of the bolts. The dwarf takes 36 hit points while the paladin takes 18.
He is right in front of you.
Arrrrgh! has his flail thing out in an instant...swinging...and the two heads pulp an enormous dragon paw.
"Should have figured." Darian lets all of his magic missles fly at the beast...however many that is. For arguments sake we shall assume two spells...sufficient to bruise the dragon.
Gonzo ducks to the side, and goes into hiding, looking to get a shot on the critter, assuming it survives more than the usual 30 seconds.
BrightAxe merrily casts a prayer then moves to attack the Dragon.
"HA !" Al cries as he slices into the dragon. "Gilstrock, BBQ'ed Blue dragon for dinner !" he says with a smile as he swings Saddam into the creature, cutting deep into its blue hide twice.
The dragon screams.
Gilstrock charges in with Thawbreaker, shouting, "Prepare to meet your maker you improperly shielded electronic appliance!"
Two quick chops with his frost brand finishes off the dragon.
The rest of your spells are not required.
Climbing up, over and around the great reptillian corpse, you take a look at his erstwhile treasure. It consists of 3750sp, a potion, a scroll, six more potions, a folded handkerchief, a sheathed longsword and a fancy shield.
You look down the passages.
The passage to the south runs for 40' and ends.
The east passage runs for 60' and on.
"Occa can you teleport me back to base after you have memorised the spell again, it appears that I am not required to aid you at the moment and I want to do a more intensive study of the area around the camp" Angst requests.
Occa will quickly teleport Angst out and then he will pop back in again.
"Guess we are in here for at least a night now..."
"Valdar, can you check for a secret door down the southern passage?" asks Darian.
There is no reply, being as how Valdar is not with you.
Occa says, "To the south to check for secret doors and then to the other passage?"
He heads those ways...
You check for secret doors to the south...but find none.
You head east.
This is a long passage...you discover. It is featureless until you reach the 130' - 140'...where there is a door in the south wall. The passage continues east.
Occa's servant opens the door after you do the usual precautionary stuff.
Revealed is a 40' X 40' room (10' east, 20' west, 40' south). The floor is littered with rubble and dirt. A particularily large pile of rubble and dirt resides in the southwest corner.
"Occa, can you have your unseen servant check out the particularily large pile of rubble and dirt?" asks Darian.
"Sure." He has the unseen servant go and move some rocks around...
He will also get out his wand of metal and mineral detectin and use it. "Anyone have detect magic?"
Taking note of what a parge pile looks like, BrightAxe puts an amused look upon his face as he awaits the sifting through of the pile.
"Saddam, evil ?" Al asks as he looks at the pile of rubble.
"No, unfortunately!"
The wand pulses and points at the pile.
Occa says, "That is good enough for me." He starts digging the pile away. "Help everyone!"
BrightAxe dives into the pile and starts sorting as quickly as a dwarf can.
It does not take much excavating to uncover: a potion, a scroll, a ring, a suit of scale mail (dwarf-sized) and a suit of chain mail (elf-sized).
After congratulating yourselves on your good fortune, you return to the passage and continue east.
In the 100' - 110' section of the south wall past the door is a passage running south. This passage continues east for as far as your bleary eyes can see.
Looking south, you see that the passage runs for 50' and ends. There is a door in the last 10' section of the west side.
You go forth and open it...revealing a barren 10' square room.
Searching, you turn up nothing.
You return to the long passage and continue east.
The passage runs for a further 110' past the intersection...turning south after 110'.
Looking south, you see that it runs for a further 50' and ends.
You go down there and look for secret doors...and Darian spots one...in the east wall at the end.
You open it.
Beyond is a 20' wide passage running north...for 60' and on.
You go north.
10' beyond where you saw earlier, the passage meets a 30' wide hallway running east - west...in both directions for as far as you can see. An image of clouds and winds has been carved into the floor of the eastbound side of the passage.
"Are we ready to tackle the air section?" asks Darian.
Occa says, "yes, let's go east and to the air...."
He heads east.
"Oh, Cannon Fodder #3...why don't you go up front?"
Cannon Fodder says, "Now, why am I #3 again?" he heads up to the front of the ground and prances down the corridor. Invisible, of course...
BrightAxe answers Mr. fodder #3; "Well, 3 is actually a symbolic representation of a quantity. It is an abstract thought representing sensible qualities we have experienced. Since you were a sensation which produced an idea in us that in turn gave another idea upon reflection of the quantity of three, you were labeled this for our reference as to not confuse you with other unlabeled sensible properties existing upon some type of substratum," BrightAxe will finish thinking if he is speaking like this he's not drinking enough then add, "really, it's quite a compliment that someone has deigned to label a collection of sensible properties thus giving it an identity; you should be proud."
Pharian scratches his head and looks puzzled. "Unusually philosophical for a dwarf," he says. "Come to think of it, unusually philosophical for a fighter, too."
Gilstrock looks from Pharian to BrightAxe. "Whatevuh," he says.
"I'm a cleric too," answers BrightAxe indignantly. It's a well known fact that Descartes, Locke, Leibniz, Berkely, and Kant were all Dwarves. How else does one get a name like immanuel Kant and entitle his major work the Prolegomena."
BrightAxe knows more beer and spirits will fix this problem of too much knowledge... he makes a mental note for more alcohol. :)
Jesse, never one to resist an opening like this one breaks out in song.
>Immanuel Kant was a real pissant >Who was very rarely stable. >Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar >Who could think you under the table. > >David Hume could out-consume >Schopenhauer and Hegel. >And Wittgenstein was a beery swine >Who was just as sloshed as Schlegel. > >There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach you >Bout the raising on the wrist. >Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed... > >John Stuart Mill of his own free will >After half a pint of shandy was particularly ill. >Plato, they say, could stick it away, >Half a crate of whiskey every day. > >Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle, >Hobbes was fond of his dram. >And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart: >I drink therefore I am. > >Then, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed. >A lovely little thinker... >But a bugger when he's pissed!
Listening to Jesse's alcoholic song, Gilstrock says enthusiatically, "Now there's a song I like! Sing more like those!"
Cannon Fodder and Occa seem to listen for a moment, but then realize that you can't really define chaos, the only true principle of the universe.
They continue to prance down the corridor.
You prance roughly eastward for almost five miles. It becomes boring after a time. Finally, towards lunchtime, you come to an intersection. A 10' wide passage runs south out of the main 20' wide passage, which runs on.
Looking south, you see that this new passage runs for 60' and on into obscurity.
Occa says, "Let's go South for a little bit..."
"South might Alleviate the boredom," agrees BrightAxe.
Cannon Fodder #3 goes that way.
Sure enough, after 10' a trap door opens under Cannon Fodder's feet...and he drops into a 10' deep pit.
This isn't boring at all.
"Mr. Fodder, you're supposed to bounce," mentions BrightAxe.
Gonzo examines the trap and trip mechanism and attempts to understand the thing.
While you fish the silly simulacrum out, you look ahead, to see that the passage runs south for 70' in total, then ends at a door in the south wall.
You all manage to scramble over the pit and go to the door at the end of the passage.
He waits for the others to decide which way from here.
Opening it, you see a small room (10' X 20': 10' west, 10' south; door in west wall, door in south wall west half). Guarding the doors are three kelubar demodands...similar to the fellow you battled in the dungeon under the Temple of the Gods of Trouble...
"Goo-goo-jaboo!" they chorus, as they move to attack.
"Koo-Koo Kachoo!," shouts BrightAxe as he closes to begin a whacking.
"You are no Ella Fitzgerald!" Gilstrock says, as he moves up as well.
Darian draws his sword and charges one of them.
Jesse casts a lightning bolt at the creatures.
Cannon Fodder shrieks, "Goo-goo-jaboo!" And runs away....
Occa lightning bolts another one of the demodands.
Just as both Occa and Jesse complete their spells, though, the demodands suddenly poof into gaseous form.
The lightning bolts blast right through the spots where they stood. Occa's bolt blasts the west door to smithereens...revealing another room beyond...from which come a half a dozen wraiths.
"Grat job guys. Sadaam should be happy." Jesse says as she surveys the damage from the lightning bolt. "I suggest that someone help show those wraiths the light."
"Any suggestions for the gases ones?"
"Um... Orlon? Brightaxe? A little help? I don't have the staff of illumination anymore. It didn't survive." says Darian.
"In the name of Clangeddin Silverbeard, be gone from here !," yells BrightAxe, waving his holy symbol.
Orlon does likewise.
The wraiths laugh at the poor dwarf as he utterly fails in his attempt. Orlon fares little better...destroying only one of them.
Occa aims at a clump of them and starts to cast disintegrate.
Meanwhile, the wraiths attack Darian, Brightaxe, Jesse, Occa and Gilstrock. Suddenly, the demodands rematerialise...in the middle of the group! They immediately attack Al, Pharian and Orlon.
The fun begins as Al is scratched for 6 hit points of damage! Strangely enough...his stoneskin seems to have been dispelled!
"YAHOO" Al cries as Saddam and he cut into the closest demodand...laying open a massive wound. He follows up with another devastating hit.
Pharian tries to dodge but not before he is scratched for 8 hit points. The acid that the demodands secrete burns him for a further 5 hit points.
Orlon, using Big Bruiser, conks the monster threatening him over the head. However, it bites him for 9 hit points.
Darian faces a wraith which promptly misses him. He sticks his frost brand into it, injuring it slightly. Arrrgh! also attacks this wraith, hurting it some more.
Brightaxe dodges the touch of another wraith...to discover to his dismay that his axes pass right through the undead without hurting it.
Jesse tries to fight off the wraith attacking her...with her gleaming longsword. Of course she misses.
Occa retreats...all thoughts of his disintegrate forgotten...but the wraith touches him...and he cries out in agony as he is drained two levels. He takes 5 hit points of damage as well.
Then Gonzo attacks with his flame tongue...two quick swings and the wraith on Occa is cooked.
Gilstrock easily nails the wraith attacking him, twice.
Darian keeps swinging at the wraith on him.
His first swing misses...as the wraith touches him...draining him of two levels - to 5F/4MU - and inflicting 2 hit points of damage. His next swing lands, though, and the wraith is weakening. Both of Arrrgh's!!! heads strike the undead next, and the wraith is history.
"Damn sword." Jesse says, and casts d-door moving as far away as possible. As she does so, the wraith touches her...sucking her down for two levels and doing 1 hit point of damage.
Then she disappears...to reappear 30' back up the passage.
BrightAxe wonders out loud "how to die this time?"
Deciding that taking some of the attacks away and freeing up members of the party who may be able to help him later. He gives a battle cry and jumps to pummel and overbear any Demodands he can.
Getting away from the wraith - who actually misses him - he attacks the monster on Orlon...missing miserably.
The wraith, however, pursues him.
Occa stands his ground and starts firing magic missles at the rest of the wraiths until they are dead, or he is out of magic missles.
Occa uses exactly four spells to kill off the rest of the wraiths.
Pharian casts his three magic missle spells at the demodand - which is moving against Gilstrock, then turns invisible and tries to retreat.
His first spell does not affect the demodand...but his next two do, blasting and blistering its slimy flesh.
"Get back, you festering piece of cat dung!" Gilstrock says as he lays into the demodand with Thawbreaker. The fighter takes 4 hit points of damage from a scratch as he fans badly. His next swing connects, though...as he is bitten for 8 more hit points.
"C'mon Saddam, let's slay some evil !" Al snarls as he swings at the nearest creature.
"'Bout time!" shouts Saddam, as he and the paladin together land a perfect hit...causing the target demodand to virtually explode into little smelly pieces.
Gonzo continues to attack free targets till they are all dead....
"KARRRRRRRRRUUBMA!" he says, wacking into the next target...who happens to be the demodand on Gilstrock. Burying his flame tongue into the monster, he almost kills it with a single swing.
Orlon again connects against his demodand as it bites him for a further 8 hit points.
Two demodands remain. One is badly hurt, the other is fairly healthy.
Occa magic missles the healthy demodand until it is dead or his last 3 spells are gone.
All three spells are required to kill it.
Cannon Fodder watches from the far rear and walks up to where Jesse is standing.
Jesse starts to curse her bad luck and all undead in Troll. While she is throwing curses out, she whips out her magic wand and begins to pump magic missiles into the creature that remains. Two missiles this round nearly does it in.
"Thanks, Gonzo!" Gilstrock says, as he tries to finish off the wounded demodand with a thrust of Thawbreaker. This he does with ease.
All of the monsters are dead. Searching the demodand room, you come up with 1800cp, 300ep, 900gp and 6 small gems worth 50gp each.
You look through the west doorway and into the room beyond where the wraiths came from.
It measures 10' X 20' (10' west, 10' north; door in east wall to your right; door in west wall north portion). It is bare.
"Are we all dead again, or did I happen to survive this fight, ?" grins BrightAxe. "By the way, I gotta find weapons that affect these badder creatures." he sighs
With the heat of the battle over, Jesse starts to shake and shiver.
She looks down at the floor and mutters more in Troll to herself. "How come I am so cold and so weak." the says to herself, "Is that what the negative planes do to you?" she asks no one in particular.
Occa says, "Yep, sure is. We should probably retreat at this point and regain our strength...."
Darian moves over to console Jesse. "I feel cold as well. Do you need some healing?"
Darian heals himself and Jesse if she wants it.
Jesse lets herself be healed, quietly thanking Darin, her hand lingering on his for a protracted minute before she turns away and moves away from the rest of the group.
Darian shakes his head, a little uneasy. "Anyone else need healing?"
"When we get back to base camp Darian, I will restore your lost level," Orlon mentions to him. "Does anyone need further healing?"
"Thanks Orlon. I think Jesse and Pharian will also need your help."
Jesse speaks, softly and sadly, "I too will need healing by you Orlon, and perhaps another attempt to remove the curse I have with this sword I seem to be saddled with."
Occa says, "Yeah, I need some restoration as well."
"Let's go back to the camp and take care of that as soon as we can..."
Cannon Fodder says, "WELL what about this door?"
He opens it.
The south door opens to reveal a 10' X 10' room with a door in each wall. Otherwise, the room is barren and uninteresting.
"If we're going to rest up, this does not look like a safe place," puts in BrightAxe. "Not very defensible at all," he adds looking around cautiously.
Occa says, "Okay, Cannon Fodder don't do that again!"
"Do what?" He says as he goes into the room to open the first door on his right.
As he does so the floor suddenly heaves...then with a rumble it wraps itself around the simulacrum!
Trapper!
"MMMMMPHGHGH!" Cannon Fodder tries to exclaim.
He takes no damage - his stoneskin was not dispelled - but he is still in a bit of a bind.
"HA, HA, HA, HA, now only if we can do that to the real Occa !!" Al says with a grin as he carefuly attacks it, trying not to hit #3.
Al and Saddam land two easy hits on the trapper, cutting its hide open.
Darian takes his clue from Al and gingerly tries to hit the trapper with his frost brand.
Darian, though, has troble penetrating the monster's thick hide.
"Clearly that dectect traps is working again CF." Jesse calls to the immobilized Cannon Fodder. "Should we blast it or is there a better way to do things ..." Jesse asks, "I do not remember ever seeing a creature like this before."
Looking at Cannon Fodder #n's bind, Gilstrock says, "Maybe it's just easier to let Occa make another one."
"I don't think that would be nice." Jesse says, "Regardless of the way that Cannon Fodder was created, we owe him the duty of rescue if we can." says the Bard.
"Do these Sim guys learn lessons?" asks BrightAxe as he goes in to help destroy the creature holding poor Mr. Fodder #3 with his hand axes.
Neither of his blades are able to slice into the trapper.
Occa says, "I don't think so." He casts polymorph other on the trapper...trying to turn it into a small, fat, slow hamster.
Cannon Fodder says, "Hmmmph! Ahmpsh!"
Pharian looks on expectantly, wondering what it will look like for CF to be wrapped up inside a small hamster.
"Pharian, you think you might fit in there with him ?" Al asks with a smirk. "You know I just love talkative mages !"
"Huh?" says Pharian. "I didn't say anything."
Occa's spell has no effect on the trapper.
Al continues to affect it, though, as he carefully (for Al, that is) slices off thin pieces of trapper sushi. Finally, he kills it and silly Cannon Fodder is released.
Underneath the monster, you now discover, was some loot: 400pp and 10 various rings and dangly things worth 6000gp apiece.
Occa says, looking at the now freed Cannon Fodder, "Hey, they each cost me a year of life! I would like to preserve them if possible!"
"Kinda pricy!" exclaims BrightAxe.
Gilstrock looks at Occa, shocked. He points absently at Cannon Fodder, while looking at Occa and saying, "You mean you lose a year of your life every time you make one of those? Why in the Runelands do you keep doing it?"
Occa shrugs and says, "I don't know!"
"Are we going to return to camp now?" whines Darian.
Occa says, "Okay, time to retreat...we need to be restored." He pulls out the handerchief that was found earlier and unfolds it...hoping it is a portable hole.
It looks to be another portable hole: a 10' deep pit in a non-dimensional space, so the rest of the party climbs into it...
...and go tumbling into a grey void.
Everyone - including Cannon Fodder - is present, but for Occa.
There seems to be no surface here. The area is illuminated by a silvery light.
Floating close by is a winged, human-like female. She looks like Madonna.
"Hi!" she says. "Drop by often?"
Jesse looks around, "Could use a new color scheme." she says critical of the lack of color. "Who are you? I'm Jesse and you look like the Material girl herself." the bard says, "I love your music, its appreciated on all the realms."
"Why thankyou," she replies with a smile and a toss of her hair. "I'm Sills."
"Sills. Pleased to meet ya'." Jesse says. "So what do we do for fun here?"
"That's up to you. I'm just passing through."
"Well met, Sills," Al says as he grasps her hand and kisses it. "My name is Alhamet Horuson, but ye make call me Al. We seem to be, err, a little lost, heh.. I take it you're not from here.. where are you from ?" Al asks with a disarming smile.
BrightAxe looks around apprehensively, "Uhm we're not anywhere I know anymore are we?"
"You're on the astral plane, you silly dwarf!" Sills says with a warbling laugh.
Darian sounds a little frightened as he says, "What's going on? Where are we?"
"You're on the astral plane, of course," Sills replies. "Where did you think you were?"
"This isn't the material plane? I thought that's where you lived." replies the bard.
"Naw," she replies. "I might be a material girl but I don't live there. Too low rent. I live in the Seven Heavens."
"Gazing at such beauty, I thought I was already in Heaven !" Al exclaims as he smiles at her.
"I'll bet you say that to every extra-planar girl you meet!" she says with a smile.
Jesse puts her hands to her face and trys... very hard... but fails to supress a huge fit of giggling at Al's comments....
"No..." says Jesse, still trying to contain herself, "every girl is more like it."
"Not every !!" Al says with a sheepish grin. "Anyway Jesse, why don't you and the flake go play while Sills and I have a chat about the heavens.." he says with a smile to Sills.
"That's alright," Sills replies. "My boyfriend would paste you if you tried anything, anyway."
"Boyfriend ?? Ah lass.. my interest is purely platonic.. at this point." Al says with a smile.
"Suuuuure. I've heard *that* line before!"
"Evil check!" calls Pharian.
"No evil!" proclaims Saddam, before adding, "I don't feel so good."
"Ha." calles the bard to the sword.
Cannon Fodder says, "Cool!"
"Lass, not really??" Al says in a charming tone as he stares at her. Then he puts Saddam in his sheath on his back, so he can't say anything.
"Too late - mmmmphdg!" says the sword as you put him away.
Cannon Fodder says, "Uh, I don't suppose you could teleport us home, could you?"
"Where's home? The Prime? No problem!"
"Say, you wouldn't want to join us in our attempts to slay an evil Tiamatlet and save countless people and possibly a whole world, would you?"
"Save another world? Do you know how many worlds I'm scheduled to save already, today? Boyoboy!"
He then says, "You are cute, do you have a boyfriend? I know that wacked out paladin is coming onto you, but I bet you would like someone with a little more wild and crazy side to them, wouldn't you?"
"Sorry, snowball. I like my men to be good and proper...and to court me properly!" she adds with a sharp glance at the horny paladin.
Taken aback, Al shifts his stance from overt to relaxed. "I am sorry if I offended thee, lass...in the service of Horus, I am constantly surrounded by those of lax morals and it is all too seldom for me to be in the presence of a true lady. I humbly beg your forgiveness for any perceived slight.. such goodness and beauty with which is before me is rare in the worlds I have traveled!" he says with a bowed head.
Jesse breaks out in full laughter at this comment....
"But..." she says between giggles "about... same sex....relationships?" she asks the material girl.
Sills stares strangely at Jesse.
"HARUMPH !," glares BrightAxe at the party who are using more hormones than sense, especially about a woman with no beard... "Treat her with a little dignity, she's a person, not a piece of meat !" he finishes indignantly.
Jesse looks at BrightAxe. "I was not offering a relationship, I was asking to see what her philosophy of life was. If you can't accept that, well.." the bard says most indignantly.
"Lass, ignore the snowflake.." Al says as he stares daggers at Cannon, "Sills, we are on a mission to purge a land of evil.. we could use the help or if ye need any help, I would be most honored to oblige !" he finishes with a bow.
Cannon says, "Ugh, don't make me barf. Well, if you want a real man...I am here for you honey!"
"HA, HA, HA !" Al bursts out laughing.. "Cannon, you truly amuse me.. you wouldn't know what a real man is.. you're not even a man, you're a giant snowball. I bet that if Saddam came too close to you, the magic that is holding you together would probably dissipate you to the four winds. Wanna try it, waterboy ??" he asks in a challenging voice.
"Sure pansy boy!" Cannon Fodder magic missles Al for 5 hit points. Then he turns and flees. "I bet you aren't as smart as me, which means you won't get around very fast in the astral plane you monkey!
Cannon Fodder says, "Damn, I have used my one spell for the day!"
Al draws Saddam out, but does not retaliate. "Cannon, pray to whatever gods that made you, because Occa will be quite upset when he learns he will have to waste another year of his life to create another one of you !" he says in a matter of fact voice.
"OOooooo! I am so scared! I bet you really have fun torturing peasants who are much weaker than you, mighty paladin lord. Come then! I'll take ya! You aren't going to bully me or make fun of what I am you tutu wearing, daisy picking, rose smelling, good deed doing, sex crazed SISSY!" He draws a dagger. "Come on big boy! I'll teach you and that stupid loud mouthed, ill mannered hunk of tin a lesson or two!"
"Al, why don't you stick your head in a bucket of water. Saddam... can you talk to the boy and explain to him the difference between polite and paladin polite." Jesse calls to the sword. "As for Cannon Fodder. I don't see you jumping to the front and leading the way. He's more of a man than you." Jesse says, defending the clone. "Besides, he knows manners, compared to some here."
"Jesse, have ye taken leave of your senses, girl ?? I usually take point and don't fly around invisible. I watch and protect this group to the best of my ability !! and manners, I may be rough, but I have never attacked any of you !!" Al says in an angered voice. He stops and calms himself. "Sills, may I have the Honor of traveling with you ? I am quite a competent fighter and can be good company, despite the accusation of others !"
"I don't think so..." she replies.
"Well, can you at least take us home so we can save the world?"
"See Jesse, despite your opinion of me, I want slay this idiot, because he is antagonizing me.. eventhough I would probably be rewarded by Horus and the entire pantheon for doing so !" Al says in an even tone, trying, and barely, controlling himself.
"Ooooo, what a lucky snowflake! The mighty warrior isn't going slay me. Laadee frickin da!"
"You're also a stuck up fart who can't take a joke and thinks way too much of himself." replies that bard.
"Yes, I see your strong suit is definitely manners - ha !!" Al replies. "Sills, can you please return us to the Prime ?" I request.
"Yeah! Fart!" And Cannon fodder turns around, bends over, aims toward Al and does so.
"You are both antagonizing each other." Jesse says. "Stop it both of you or I may be forced to take things into my own hands." the bard says to the two.
"Jesse, that's quite amusing... hmm.. I will stop this now ! Sills, since you decline my company, would it be possible for you to deposit us back to our plane of origin ??" Al asks in a polite voice. "And Sills, it truly was a pleasure meeting you... if you have happen to have an unattached sister or friend, please tell her to look me up !" he finishes with a chuckle and a smile as he nods my head to the winged female.
BrightAxe laughing adds "Yeh!, and you remember what happenned the last time she took things into her own hands, BOOM ! We're all meat."
He laughs and sticks his tongue out at Jesse.
Cannon says, "Okay, I will stop." He smiles and adds, "for now"
The bard bows to the woman, "I look forward to hearing more of your music, if you have time, or perhaps stories of other lands that you have been to. I'm new to the area, and looking for stories is something I try hard to do."
"Children!" Gilstrock says curtly. He looks over at Sills. "Excuse them. They aren't... normal."
"You don't say?" Sills replies.
"Um, this astral plane thingy we're on -- this is one of those outer planes, isn't it? I'd, er, be much obliged if you could get solid ground beneath our feet for us," Gilstrock says as he begins to pale a bit (which is saying something, since his skin is pretty pale as it is).
"What a crew!" Sills says, holding her nose after Cannon Fodder's odourous exhalation. "Get out of my sight!"
She waves her hand and suddenly you are standing somewhere dark. You feel something solid under your feet, and gravity takes you.
Then, there is light from above, and you see that you are in a passage that stretches away for as far as you can see in one direction, and ends at a set of doors in the other. The walls, floor and ceiling are made of metal and some bone-like material. The light is coming from glowing panels in the ceiling.
The long hallway that you are standing in stretches behind you for many hundreds of feet. To either side are openings. The closest of these appears to be about 200' away. This passage is 20' wide and 20' high. As previously mentioned, glowing panels in the ceiling provide a bright illumination. The place is fairly clean, though here and there you see odds and ends of debris. The air is cool, stale...and...smells different...
You are about 30' from the one end of this passage. A large set of double doors faces you.
Cannon Fodder gets up and says, "I don't think we are in Kansas anymore."
"Shall we explore? Or do you chicken littles want to hide?" He looks around and says, "I wonder if we are in hell."
"Okay! Who's messing with our travel?" asks BrightAxe.
"Good job, Cannon, you're a waste of snow. Anyone have any idea where we are? Saddam, scan the area for evil, please," Al asks as he looks around, wary of this new destination.
"No evil, unfortunately!" exclaims the holy avenger, "And I feel better!"
Cannon Fodder adds, "I don't think we can hide too well here...let's check out those doors."
He skips on down toward them. "Anyone want to bet there is a big nasty monster behind these doors?"
He looks over at the group and says, "You want to open them Al?"
"Chicken little will bet 3 coppers that something will attack," says BrightAxe.
"Are you sure Jesse doesn't want to?" Al says with a smile. He puts out his hand to Cannon, "Peace brother, but if you attack me again, I will kill you !"
"Much better." says Jesse and walks over to the two. "Group hug," she says as she hugs them both. "I'm sorry Al, Cannon Fodder."
"If I weren't a 'snowflake' I might be afraid...but it doesn't matter. I am doomed anyway, Al, you don't think I already know that I don't have a chance. It is only a matter of time."
"If I had any self respect in the first place, I'd be embarassed right now," Gilstrock says. "We meet some woman or another from the outer planes of good, and what do we do? Bicker." Shaking his head, Gilstrock says, "Well, I guess that's what happens if you keep a Paladin around."
"Good thing about not having any."
"And he calls _me_ talkative," agrees Pharian. "Baah!"
"Well once you pass on, I will try to intervene and have you directed to a better place !" Al says with a smile as he clasps Cannon's hand. He then goes to the doors with Saddam ready.
Cannon Fodder smiles sadly and says, "There is no where for me to go after this life...I am nothing after passing on. Imagine that."
As Al approaches to within a few feet of the doors, they suddenly shimmer out of existance!
Revealed beyond is a large chamber.
You go up and peer through the doorway. The doors opem into one end of a large hall (50' X 100'; 10' left (call that north), 20' south, 100' east; double doors in south wall, 40' - 60' section; doors in east wall, north and south corners respectively). This place is brightly lit by glowing ceiling panels.
This place strikes you as being stark and sterile. You see many counters and desks in here, along with a number of uncomfortable looking chairs. Large signs line the walls (with messages like: "Welcome to Euracha", "The Third Ptarton Empire Greets You", "Plug into Marlboro Wire Adventures", "Line Up Here For Citizenship Scan"). To your surprise, each of you sees the signs as being in your native tongue, be it common, elven or dwarvish.
There is no one here, but for a solitary human shaped figure, standing at the far end of the chamber under the latter sign. He stands some 6' tall, in a frozen but relaxed posture. He is dressed from head to foot in a gleaming metallic suit, which even covers most of his face. He is looking directly at you.
"This looks a little to unreal for my taste," issues BrightAxe who has taken to wringing his hands about this planar travel.
Looking in, Gilstrock says quietly, "Wow, I ain't never been anywhere like this before." He looks over at Orlon. "Hey, you're from this Amrica world, right? Where the heck are we?"
Gilstrock looks back at the human-like figure in the metallic suit. He holds up his and and says, "Er, Hi."
The figure does not respond.
"Saddam, detect evil and can you try to keep it low," Al asks in a whisper.
"Saddam, don't be a wimp !, says BrightAxe loudly. "If there is something evil or chaotic here I want to know ! And remember, I act more the Paladin that he does," adds BrightAxe with a hopeful and scared glance towards the sword the paladin is holding. BrightAxe also openly pulls his holy symbol of two silver crossed battle axes and whispers a prayer to Clangeddin Silverbeard, for all of us to make it home.
"Dwarf," Al says with a furious look, "It has nothing to do with fear, stealth is always a safe precaution when we do nor know the full number of our potential enemies and must EVERYONE here demean me.... there are times I think this group can be my worst own enemy!! And Dwarf, you couldn't handle him...." he says with a smile, Brightaxe's insult almost forgotten.
"No evil!" answers Saddam with a yell.
Jesse looks around and scratches her head. Thinking, hard for a moment, before speaking, "Well, this is another fine mess you've gotten us into Ollie."
She walks into the room and moves to sit in one of the chairs.
The rest of you follow her.
As you step through the doorway you feel a slight pressure flow over you, almost as if you have just stepped through a shower of water. When you look behind you, you see the doors shimmer back into existance!
Now that you are in the chamber, you see that everything in here is covered in a fine layer of dust and grime, which appears undisturbed but for two sets of footprints across the floor. One set runs from the door behind you to the door in the southeast...the other set runs runs from the northeast door to the door behind you.
Both sets appear to have been made by the same person.
Cannon Fodder says, "Gee whiz, we are in a space ship I would bet!"
"Space ship?" Gilstrock says, not understanding, until his face lights up. "Hey, that's like that thing in that dream I had when I was dead! The metal thing, flying or something, through... the darkness!"
"Exactly...this must be important somehow."
He walks over toward the robot. "I wonder if these guys are friendly or not."
The creature remains still and lifeless as Cannon Fodder scrutinises it from close range. It is humaniform in shape, its body covered in a metallic cloth-like material. Its eyes are dead grey in colour. Like everything else in here, it is covered in a layer of dust and grime.
Orlon looks around for any panels with buttons, levers, etal.
He finds none.
"So, what's so important about these space ship thingies?" Gilstrock asks. "Is it 'cause they do things like what they did to Darian? And how the hell do we get in contact with Occa? The original one, I mean."
Cannon Fodder says, "Well, you can travel in them...you can blow things up...like planets. Hey, that would take care of the dragons...we could just blow the planet up. Of course, that woudl probably get Occa too, but I think he would understand. Plus, it would be kinda neat to watch, don't you think so?"
He pauses and says, "Oh, well, I expect he is back on Earth...unless something came upon him when we got into the hole. He could be dead...hmm, I doubt it, though, because then I wouldn't be here."
At the mention of the word spaceship, Darian draws his sword. "Oh... no! I'm not going to let them prod me again for days on end. I've been through it twice and no more! If they want to experiment on me, they're going to have to kill me first."
Darian puts his back to a wall and keeps looking all over trying to figure out where an attack will come first.
Cannon Fodder says, "I don't think 'they' are around here anymore. This is a great find! Relax."
"And besides," Orlon chuckles to Darian. "Don't you like being 'spaced out'?"
"N...o... I didn't. You wouldn't either, if you had experienced it."
Jesse walks slowly over to Darian. "Don't worry Darian, we'll protect you." she says softly, in a calm, soothing tone. "I will not let anyone hurt you, Promise." she says as she holds out her hands to the fellow. "I'll stay with you." she promises.
"Thanks, but it won't do any good. Lore and I tried to resist and they got both of us anyway. They are fiends. Worse than any dragon or undead creature I've seen."
Darian takes Jesse's hand and pulls her to him and then guides her to the wall. "Keep your back to the wall. It will cut down on the routes they can take to get you."
Jesse allows herself to be guided to the wall. "Darian, we have much more experience and more firepower than you and Lore had alone so I think we'll be ok. Besides if they are like the metal one over there, a few good lightning bolts might be in order."
"Only if we are ready for them, can we handle the situation. Look at the others. Only Al has his sword at the ready. The rest of them would be toast in a manner of seconds. And I'm not so sure that lightning will do any good. They seemed to be masters of lightning. They shocked me multiple times until I could no longer control the movements of my body. And they did it just be pulling a lever. How can we hope to stop that?"
Nevertheless, she remains against the wall, waiting and watching.
Darian's fretting has begun to make Gilstrock nervous. With his shield hanging in its position on his back, he holds his spear in two hands, ready to use it should the need arise.
He looks back at Cannon Fodder. "I think that blowing up the planet probably isn't the best thing to do," he says. "But are we anywhere near Amrica? Or Earth, what do you call it? How do these space ship thingies work anyway?"
"Extra caution in realms of magic like this is necessary," agrees BrightAxe, "but let us not scare ourselves into inaction. It is much better to die in battle." He adds while fingering his holy symbol and prepares to fight against a superior foe.
Darian snorts. "I'd much rather die as an old elf, if it is all the same to you. I've no desire to die today. And my experience with these monsters is that they don't kill you, just torture you until you wish you were dead."
Pharian bends over the footprints and squints at them. They appear to have been made by a human. They do not appear to be very recent.
"The question," he says, "is whether the maker of these footprints came from this building and took a trip outside, or whether he came from outside and took a trip into the building. We'll find out soon enough, I expect."
Cannon Fodder looks at the metal guy a bit longer (checking to see if there are any buttons or levers). He finds none.
He says, "Who are you?"
There is no reply.
He says, "Must be armor..."
He follows the tracks to whatever door they lead to.
With Saddam out, Al accompanies him.
Following the tracks to the southeast door, Al and Cannon Fodder watch as the door shimmers out of existance. Beyond is a 10' wide passage, 20' high. It runs east for 60', turning south after 50'. It is lit from above by glowing panels in the ceiling. You see doors inset in the walls ahead (north side, 10' section, north side, 50' - 60' section, east wall facing you). The place is slightly dusty, and the air has a bit of a musty smell to it. You get the impression that it has been deserted for quite awhile.
The tracks go to the first door to the north and evidently pass inside. You also see them exit this doorway and continue down the passage.
Cannon Fodder walks up to the North door and sees if it vanishes when he does so.
The door shimmers out of existance, revealing a room beyond.
"Maybe we should make some noise to get this person's attention."
"Let's just find a door and walk out of here," suggest BrightAxe.
For the spell the rest of you were talking about I think you need an O-B wand (sometimes called a Kenobi). I think it's smaller than most wands.
"Ahhh. I see. I forgot about that. We'll need to look for one of those later." Jesse says to the group. "I hear it is a powerful spell, when invoked by a lovely woman in distress."
The room that Cannon Fodder is peering into measures 20' X 30' (10' west, 30' north; door in north wall east corner). This barren place is uninteresting but for several counters, desks and two archways near the centre. The latter are apparently constructed of some sort of metal, but seem to glow with a radiance all their own. Otherwise, the place is bare.
The tracks wander around the room and then exit through the doorway that Cannon Fodder stands in.
Cannon continues to follow the foot prints. "I wonder what those arces do..."
"Well I do know what *Arses* do," smiles BrightAxe, "but I never heard of Arces." He follows Mr. fodder.
Cannon says, "Well, the problem is that you are a cleric, warrior and dwarf...if you were a mage, you might know what I was talking about."
He winks at Pharian.
Darian says, "Well, I'm a mage and I still don't know what you're talking about..."
"Of course not! Do you think an elf with an ulcer would be in the club?"
He moves on to avoid further discussion.
The tracks lead you out of the room and on down the passage and to the next door to the north. As expected, the door shimmers away as you approach it...revealing another room (20' X 30': 10' west, 30' north). This one is completely barren, and the footprints do not venture into it, but rather go to the door in the east wall.
Looking south from the corner, the passage runs for 60', turning west after 50'. There is a second door in the east wall, immediately to the right of the door you are now approaching.
This opens into another empty room (20' X 20': 20' west, 10' north; door in north wall west corner).
Cannon Keeps following the tracks...and will continue to do so unless we encounter something very interesting or life threatening.
Al walks, side by side w/ Cannon when possible, having Saddam extended to ward off anything life threatening.
The tracks lead you south down the passage and around the corner to the west. They stop at a door just around the corner on the north side, then continue another 30' on, to where two doors face each other on either side of the passage. The north one opens into a junk-filled room. Ther south one opens into a passage running south for 60', where it ends at a door.
The tracks continue west...past an intersection with a passage running north, into some uninteresting rooms...and finally to a dead end, where the passage has caved in, some 80' past the last intersection.
The tracks return to the north passage and head up there.
The trail leads you into and out of several more junk-filled rooms before finally coming to a more interesting place...through a door on the east side, 80' - 90' section. This is a large room (40' X 40': 10' north, 20' south, 40' east; door in east wall 10' - 20' section as measured from the north). In here are four rows of tomestone-like blocks, made of a bone-like materail, arranged in pairs some 7' apart.
Other than that the place seems to be uninteresting...that is until two creatures suddenly wink into existance on the far side of the room! They are approximatelu human-sized, but with slimy mauve-coloured skin, dead white pupil-less eyes, and four tentacles growing from the fronts of their faces.
They look almost surprised to see you standing in the doorway.
You have been poking around here for several hours.
BrightAxe looks surprised himself and asks them if they know where the exit is.
Cannon Fodder says, "Ack! Mind flayers! Kill them Al! They are evil!"
He runs back out through the door and hides. "Sorry, I have no spells left!"
"Saddam, detect evil please !" Al asks as he sees the beings appear.
" E V I L !!!" says Saddam. "OHHHHH...THIS WILL BE GLORIOUS!!!"
"Shit," yells Pharian. "Where's Occa when we need him?" He starts to cast a lightning bolt at the mind flayers.
"AHHHHH! YUUUUUUUUUUK!" Gilstrock cries, as he draws Thawbreaker and rushes forward to engage the mind flayers.
"Well its about time !" Al says as he rushes at the closest of the evil creatures. "BY HORUS, DIE !"
Darian says, "Jesse, Pharian, Orlon, throw whatever spells you have at them. Valdar warned me about these creatures. They are powerful psionists and they like to eat brains. I'll try to protect us from psionic attacks, but just one is more than a match for my powers."
Jesse obliges by starting to cast a lightning bolt at the creatures.
Suddenly a shock lances into your minds...
Arrrgh! drops to the floor, stunned.
Darian loses 7 points of defense strength.
Gilstrock, meanwhile, feels a powerful will trying to wrest control of his mind, but he manages to fend it off...for now...
This is still the first segment.
"Get out of my mind you damn psi cops!" Gilstrock says, as he presses his attack with Thawbreaker.
"KAAAAAAARUMBA!" goes Gonzo, flairer's a-knocking! He charges after Al and Gilstrock.
Darian concentrates with an attack of his own...
...and feels their defenses weaken slightly.
Then another psionic blast hits...and Darian drops 4 more points...Gilstrock says -
"AAAAAAA!!!"
as he panics, wets himself, and flees in stark terror for the door.
"KAAAAARUMBA!" shouts Gonzo, as an unreasoning rage takes him and he attacks Al from behind.
Brightaxe next feels an alien mind trying to control his...but he resists.
It is the second segment.
Darian fires back again with the same attack.
He feels their defenses weaken a little more.
A third blast hits you...then a fourth.
Darian loses 7 more points...then 11 more.
But still Darian protects you from the worst of the onslaught...though a sad look comes over Pharian's face.
Darian attacks back...and feels them continue to weaken.
Then, Jesse's and Pharian's first lightning bolts cut loose, as Al attacks and Gonzo attacks him. Brightaxe is right behind them.
Neither of the spells harm the mind flayers.
Saddam easily inflicts heavy damage on one mind flayer.
Gonzo's blade bounces off of Al's armour.
Brightaxe easily injures the other 'flayer.
"Jesse, Pharian, try some magic missles. Keep them off balance and I'll try to hold them psionically."
"I used them up all a few worlds ago," replies Pharian. He tries another lightning bolt.
Darian continues his mental attacks and defenses.
The mind flayers attack with more psionic blasts. One is no longer strong enough to affect the non-psionically endowed...and Darian loses another 16 points. The second one is stronger, so Darian loses 16 more.
The rest of you are unaffected.
The elf's defenses are crumbling, as he attacks back...they continue to weaken...but not so fast as he does...
Jesse pulls out her wand and starts pumping magic missiles into the flayers, "Dance Damn You." she says as fast as she can.
Al spins around and try to get Gonzo in the Dispel Magic field generated by Saddam, hoping his charm is broken.
It has no effect.
The mind flayer, seeing an opening, steps forward and lashes out with its tentacles. All four wrap themselves around Al's head. Two snake up his nostrils...one pierces an ear while the last one drives into his skull through an eye socket.
The paladin tries to scream as the mind flayer tears into his brain, killing him instantly, and then drawing out the bloody gray matter through his nose, ear and eye.
While Al is dying, the rest of you are attacking with weapons, casting more spells, activating wands and engaging in psionic melee.
Segment 5...
Darian is blasted for 16 more points...and the last of his defenses are gone.
He attacks again regardless...as the other illithid blasts him.
Darian's head explodes and a mushroom cloud forms above it.
The lifeless, headless corpse of the elf drops to the floor.
Gonzo, still enraged, moves to attack the mind flayer as it releases the corpse of Al.
Jesse feels a mind trying to control hers...but her strength of will resists successfully.
Pharian releases his second lightning bolt. It does not get through their magic resistance.
Brightaxe is grabbed by two tentacles for 4 hit points of damage. One goes into his mouth and starts boring through the roof of it...aiming for his brain. The second one drills into his neck...aiming to get in under the base of his skull...
Gonzo attacks and easily connects with the first 'flayer, badly injuring it.
Jesse's wand releases, but does not affect its target.
Jesse curses her fates and yells, "Occa... Where are you when we need you."
She tries another lightning bolt at the creatures.
BrightAxe attacks at the tentacles on him, trying to sever them.
Cannon Fodder looks back into the room.
He sighs heavily when he sees the carnage unfolding. "Damn, Damn, damn..."
He runs up and over to the mind flayer on BrightAxe. He tries to yank the tentacles out of him.
Pharian disappears.
The mind flayer that Gonzo has been flailing away at has evidently had enough...and starts to become insubstantial.
Jesse's lightning bolt releases...but again their magic resistance protects them.
Gonzo swings his flame tongue at the fading illithid...and the blade passes right through it.
Cannon Fodder, meanwhile, has actually managed to yank the bloody tentacle out of Brightaxe's mouth...an instant before it would have killed him. The other one continues to bore its way under the back of his skull, though, and he takes 4 hit points of damage. The dwarf swings his axes blindly and slices into it!
Then suddenly Pharian reappears behind the mind flayer as he drives Darian's frost brand deep into its back, badly injuring the monster. He feels a stab of mental pain as the 'flayer tries to impose its will on him...to no avail.
The mind flayer makes an attempt to go ethereal, as Pharian again plunges the sword into its back.
The creatures gurgles and drops to the floor, dead.
A look of exultation flashes across Pharian's face for an instant as he holds Darian's bloody sword. The look passes. The sword clatters to the ground, and Pharian's habitual frown returns, even worse than usual.
"Crap," he says, looking distantly at the mind flayer blood on his hands and wrists.
All becomes deathly quiet.
One of the mind flayers is dead...the second has fled.
Gonzo and Arrrgh! come to their senses again.
The bodies of Darian and Al lie on the floor, in pools of their own blood and brains.
Pharian looks at Al's corpse. "Brainless fool should never have turned back," he says. "He should have known better than that."
Cannon shakes his head in agreement. "Yeah, we will have to tell him that his sword can't dispel psionic effects...only magical."
"Bah!" says Saddam. "He was unfit to weild me! He got his just desserts!"
Gilstrock comes wandering back in, his fears subsided, to find one dead mind flayer. Al and Darian also lie dead on the floor, as well.
"Ah Gilstrock," says Pharian drily, wiping blood off his hands. "Good to have you back."
Gilstrock looks rather dejected. "Gee, guys, I mean..." he stutters to a halt.
"I'm sorry to run out. A warrior isn't supposed to do that; he's supposed to stand strong and fight. A thief, sure, but not a fighting man! I'm really sorry to have left you in the lurch." Gilstrock sheathes Thawbreaker and slowly picks up his spear. He looks more serious and chagrined than you've probably ever seen him.
Cannon Fodder says, "Don't worry about it...the psi stuff is like magic. Sometimes you can't resist it and when you can't, there is no dishonor."
Shrugging, Gilstrock says, "Well, whatever. But I feel pretty dishonored. I should be able to resist that, and remain firm."
The tall blond human fighter walks over to the bodies of Al and Darian. "What happened to them? This is bad."
"Thanks, guys, that was close," says BrightAxe. "These two are well past my healing ability."
He points down to Al and Darian. "We'll have to patch them up and carry them with us."
BrightAxe pieces the brains back into their heads and wraps them up for safe keeping.
Jesse looks around and at Darian's remains, "This is really bad. What do we do?" she asks, "I am out of my experience and league. We need to get these two back to Occa. But how?"
Cannon Fodder says, "Well, we could hole up for a day...preferably away from here in case that mindflayer comes back with companions. I expect Occa will come after us as soon as he has teleport again...which will be tomorrow."
Jesse then walks over to Saddam. "Al may have been gruff, but he was doing his best with the material at hand. I'd touch you, but I'd be afraid you would hurt me. Any suggestions how we can carry you back with us, or else you will be doomed to stay here. Alone and unwielded."
"Do we take votes to see if we leave Saddam and tell Al the mindflayers took it,?" asks BrightAxe.
Cannon Fodder says, "Yep, that is true."
"Push me into my sheath!" says Saddam, obviously not too happy with the situation.
Jesse looks for the sheath. "If we do this for you, and take you back with us, will you promise to try to be nicer to the rest of us who aren't so holy as yourself?" the bard asks after retrieving a sheath and preparing to push the sword into it using a dagger so she doesn't touch the sword.
"No! Unless you convert to Goodness and Law!"
"I like to think that I am good." replies the bard. "I don't however, like to follow all the rules all the time like those who follow your credo do. I think that there is more to life than this."
"Wrong!" says Saddam. "We all must serve The Law as well as Goodness!"
Cannon Fodder says, "I am not good and I never like to follow the rules! Chaos rocks!"
He strums an air guitar wildly and jumps around.
Cannon Fodder says, "I think the mindflayers took Saddam. What a pity really....he was so useful."
"Very well! Leave me here! There is no one in your sorry gang of ruffians who is fit to weild me!" raves Saddam. "Someday another paladin will happen by me and take me...and together we shall impose order on the multiverse!"
Cannon Fodder says, "You know, you are right..."
He scratches his chin, "What are the odds that we could dump him into a disintegrator chamber...I wonder how long he could resist it before he failed. Or we could jettison him into space and put him on a long slow flight toward the sun."
Cannon Fodder giggles in delight at the possibilities.
"I wonder if the mindflayers will take exception to this sword if it's found cleaved into one of their dead bodies when we leave, I wonder if they'll know a way to destroy it," asks BrightAxe wondering.
Jesse sighs, "I'm willing to take you back with us, I just am asking if you could show a little respect to people. I think that you are a useful fellow to have a round and I have grown to respect you in a fight."
"I respect those who deserve respect!" replies the sword.
"It's hard to argue with his enthusiam, be it misguided." says the bard as she slides the blade home.
Then Cannon Fodder says to Pharian, "Nice backstab there Pharian. How long have you been a rogue?"
Pharian scowls at Cannon Fodder but does not answer.
Cannon Fodder sticks his tongue out at Pharian and says, "You saved the day man! We were meat without you...although Gonzo's rage might have done the trick. Still not something to count on..."
"I will not talk to you about this," says Pharian. "I am not a rogue."
"No, you are a mage now."
"That's right," Pharian answers with hostility in his voice. "I am a mage. Let no one say otherwise."
Cannon Fodder then says, "Let's carry their bodies with us and get the hell out of here."
He checks the mind flayer for goodies and looks around the room as the others collect the bodies.
On the corpse of the mind flayer you do find some goodies...namely a potion and a pair of shoes. The latter were worn by the creature, and are made of flourescent green coloured rubber and white canvas. The word 'Nike' is emblazoned on their sides, and the word 'air' is on the back of their heels.
"Let's do my favorite thing now...hide!"
Cannon Fodder slips the shoes on and says, "I bet I could run away faster in these things. I will hold onto them till we get home."
He says, "Okay..where to hide....how about in one of the empty chambers that we encountered on the way here? Let's go to that room with the arches...we can stick Saddam in them and see if they disintegrate things."
"Do we have anyone here who can attmept to get a message to Occa, ? like a sending spell," asks BrightAxe. "We can only hide so long and if we were over matched before, now we are grossly over matched."
Gilstrock looks over at Pharian. "So you stabbed one of them in the back, eh?" Gilstrock turns back to Cannon Fodder. "Don't hold it against him. He's not really like that any more. He's really a wizard."
As you head out through the doorway, you suddenly find yourselves back in base camp. It is evening, and the contrast between the warm, dry, stale air of the...wherever you were...and the cool, wet air of the mountains almost makes you gasp.
Stiff grins at you, then spins his crystal ball on the tip of his index finger.
"Hey Occa!" he calls over to a tent. "They're back!"
"Up to your antics again Stiff?" Orlon asks while eyeing the wizard.
"Uhhh..." Gilstrock hesitates, then suddenly has a bright idea. He moves over to Cannon Fodder, and, standing behind him, pushes the simulacrum forward. "You tell them about Darian and Al," he says to CF.
Cannon Fodder yells out, "Occa, Occa!"
He runs up to the tent "Darian and Al are dead! Pharian is a backstabbing thief! Come on and see my new green shoes."
Occa emerges from the tent and says, "I was going to come and get you tomorrow! What the hell happened?"
"Well," Gilstock says, "we got in that portable hole thingy so you could teleport us -- I've always told you I had a good reason all of that made me nervous! -- and suddenly there we are in this floating grey area. This angel-type creature passing by told us we were on the Astral plane. We bickered in front of her to show her our good manners for a while, and then we convinced her to send us back to our plane."
"Only when we got back," Gilstrock says, "we were on one of those space boat thingies like in my dream when I was dead. We bumped around a bit, and ran into some Mind Flayers. They made me run away -- I didn't want to, mind you! I would never run away and abandon my companions if my mind weren't controlled by fiends! -- and killed Al and Darian, but Pharian killed one of them and the other one dissapaerad.'
"Then we came back here courtesy of Stiff, I guess," Gilstrock concludes.
"Well it was mostly like that, but more confusing," adds BrightAxe. "Heads could explode and swords one thought were lawful good, forgot all about loyalty and love of life."
Occa says, "This isn't good...everyone dead and drained." He looks over at Stiff and says, "Uh Stiff, do you think you coudl help us out here? We are gravely injured, some dead and some drained of their power due to undead. Is there anyway you could restore all of us in all those ways?"
Stiff nods.
"Tomorrow."
Occa says, "Great! Everyone rest until tomorrow."
He goes back to studying his spells.