Finally, nicely tanned, you return to the hospital to meet the newly recovered Zanax and Crotchety. Tully, Darian and Lo enter a hospital room and find Zanax and Crotchety Oldfart lying in anti-gravity beds with Amaldas 2 and 5 standing by them...still in their skimpy nurses uniforms. Crotchety looks like his usual grumpy self. Zanax, however, has a new head...which bears an uncanny resemblance to Sarah Palin's head. Crotchety screams and dives under his covers. Tully chuckles and says, "We need to get Occa to fix you Zanax. I don't think I could put up with that for too long." "We might be able to use this as an advantage. So, Zanax, what happened to you? The Almada's told us about some psionic plant attacking you, but they didn't give many details. Where did you encounter them?" Zanax shrugs. Zanax feels his head, "Oh, great...not again. I'm getting sick and tired of having my brain fried. I was looking for this thing that supposedly protects the wearer from psionic blasts, but I'm having little luck being able to search for it. I wonder if magic could help..." Tully says, "That would be a really nice helm to find especially considering that you and Darian seem to be pretty vulnerable when we come up against creatures with psionics." "The problem is that creatures with psionics can notice each other. And, a lot of creatures with psionics like to prey on the weaker ones. That said, the really powerful ones don't care if your psionic or not. They'll eat you either way." The old man looks out from under the bedcovers. "So how did we end up here? And him with that nasty head?" Crotchety demands. "Why didn't they eat us?" "We carried you out," says Amalda5. Tully says, "You were on the other base? I thought you had to stay in this station." "No, we can move about the Toliman system. We can not move out to trans-light year distances, though." Zanax shrugs. "Allegedly, these things were created by the military, however, I have no proof if they exist or where they may be located. I was wondering if we could perform an augury to help us divine the answer." Crotchety reappears from under the covers. "I told you I was a cleric, doofus," Crotchety says to Zanax. "So, yes, we can do an augury." Tully shakes his head. "An augury won't do us enough. A divination or commune is what we need." Zanax responds, "I guess we need a more powerful cleric then..." "I can't do everything, you know." Tully says, "All in good time. Maybe we could get Salaam to cast a commune for us, but we can't forget that our goal here is to find a Nernal, not a helm for psionics…although maybe the helm would help us get the Nernal." "I am not knowledgeable in the ways of Thoth yet to allow me to ask him to share." Lo shrugs his shoulders. Tully says, "We should head back to Sandas and find a high priest then." "My master Salaam likely would do one for a small fee, of course," Lo replies. Darian shakes his head. "It should be free as we're members of the guild." "That would be correct then," Lo replies. Tully says, "Well, let's go..." He turns to Almada. "Can your facility do any plastic surgery to restore Zanax's face?" "Of course," she replies, "What would you like it to look like?" "Could you make him look like himself again before regrowing his head?" Wang pops up and says, "He has a cute face now!" "What...immediately before we regrew his head?" "Gross," adds Amalda1. Tully laughs and says, "No, sorry. Before the psionic blast blew his head off. Back to the way he looked a couple of months ago." "Of course. It would take a few days for the new structure to grow. Would you like that, Zanax?" Zanax winks, "That would be okey dokey to me." "Ohhhh..." moans Wang. Tully chuckles and then says, "Can you also construct a gag for that thing?" pointing to Wang. To the others, "Let's go find something to kill in this station while we wait for Zanax to get a new face." He says, "Almada can you scan for vermin for us? If you have any living inside old banks, that would be great." Crotchety visibly brightens at the word 'banks.' So, Tully, Lo, Wang, Darian and Crotchety leave Zanax in the hospital to work on his head, and head off in search of adventure. "As a matter of fact we could check out the Recreational Investing District if you like," says Amalda1. "Perhaps you could invest in some securitized mortgages..?" "Free money?" Crotchety asks. "Can't be any risk in that, count me in!" Tully says, "That sounds like a good idea...not. However, we can check out that area. Sounds like it is likely full of vermin sitting on big piles of money." "That's where people get screwed!" says Wang. "Count me in!" Tully laughs. "I am sure the Almadas will bail us out if we totally screw up!" The ladies lead you through a winding maze of passages and hallways. After awhile, you enter a large open area, which reminds you of the park across the street from the hotel that you like to stay in. In fact, you are on the other side of the same park. This side seems to be full of hustle and bustle, with many people hurrying about and making a lot of noise. The back wall of this open area is composed of a line of tall buildings, at least 30 storeys high, with lots of windows. Men and women are jumping out of these windows and falling screaming into the backs of a row of large open-topped trucks parked along the curbs. These trucks are filled with hundreds of billions of little pieces of paper with green printing on them. Clouds of paper shoot up into the air every time someone lands in the back of a truck, and people on the sidewalk pick up these papers as they drift down and then go running off with them...mostly converging on a building a short distance away with a sign that reads WAL-MART over its door. The trucks, by the way, have the word 'GOVERNMENT' painted on their sides. After they land in the backs of the trucks the people climb out and go running back into the buildings to do it all over again...sort of like lemmings. It all looks like a lot of fun...and perfectly safe, with no risk...for them, anyway. "This is the recreational investing area," says Amalda1 with a wave of her hand. "Are these people...real?" Crotchety wants to know. "As real as we are..." says Amalda5. "Very strange. Are there vermin here? Maybe the owners of the dump trucks?" "I think there's vermin inside." "That makes sense," he says, "Let's go!" He draws his sword and heads into the building. He shouts to the people, "It is an illusion! Stop playing this silly game!" The crowds ignore him. You enter the nearest of the buildings. It has a massive granite and marble facade, implying stability and permanence; however, upon entering you discover that it is simply that: a facade. Inside is a large, dirty room filled with large, dirty people. Most of them are sitting in little cubicles of cheap plastic and cloth, looking at strange glowing glass panes which have rows of numbers running across them. Many of these large, dirty people are wearing headsets, which make them look sort of cool. A large, dirty woman walks over and flashes a fake smile at you. "Welcome to the recreational investing area," she says. "Please remove all your clothes and valuables." Darian shakes his head. "No thank you, ma'am." "I am obligated to overcome your objection." "What's with the green paper?" Lo asks. "That is money," the woman says. "You can make a lot of it if you hand over everything you have to us." "Where do I get a headset?" Crotchety demands of the dirty woman. "Upon handing over all your clothes and valuables you will qualify for a free head set." Tully asks, "Where are the head honchos?" as he pushes past to head to the elevator. "I am here to help you!" she says. "Stop!" He smiles and says, "Sorry, I can't do that. You might want to start working on a tps report for HR." Darian puts a hand on his weapon, just in case she decides to get violent. "I love chaos and dissension," Crotchety says politely to the now quite excitable woman. He pats her on the arm. "So go bugger off." He smiles at her. "No, you are the ones who will get buggered!" she protests. "Halt! Or I'll be forced to file an Incident Report!" You make your way past her to the crowd at the bank of elevators. They are all jostling to get closer to the doors when they open. They look like a mean-tempered bunch. Tully pushes his way through and pushes the up arrow. "To the executive suites, I think, boys!" The crowd of men and women circle the bard, muttering angrily. "Get to the back of the line!" says one of them. "You'll lose your shirt too, if you are patient!" Tully says, "Maybe we should take the stairs up?" He looks for a stairway. There is a door to the left of the elevators. Darian heads to the doorway. It is indeed a flight of steps...going up and going down. Darian draws his sword and heads up the stairs. Heading up the stairs, you quickly come to a landing with a door opening off of it. The stairs continue upwards. Tully says, "Let's start at the top." He continues on up. Lo has his weapon ready and he follows. Lo concentrates. Crotchety follows Tully. "Off to the Penthouse!" he says happily. Tully laughs, "Yes, let's see what kind of scum is hiding up there!" "I hope there's no scum. It's always so hard to get off the walls." Darian continues to climb. Tully chuckles. "I am ready to scrape it off the walls!" You continue to climb, then. The stairs go up about 30 storeys. You pause several times to catch your breath but do not check out any of the intervening levels. At last the stairs end at a final landing. There is a heavy steel door on the opposite side of the landing. Crotchety looks for the doorknob, or failing that, a knocker or a bell. After some searching, he finds the doorknob. However, it will not turn. Tully says, "Stand aside." He takes out his lock picking kit and pulls out a few tools, then goes to work on the lock. Tully pokes and prods at the lock for several minutes before there is a click and the door shimmers out of sight. On the other side is a lobby similar to the one you left on the ground floor, though smaller and much more plush in appearance. Across the deserted lobby from you are a pair of doors. Three letters are embossed in them in gold - BOA - and underneath the letters is a depiction of a coiled snake. Flanking the doors are two stone statues, depicting an identical demonic or devilish looking creature. Tully says, "Do you think those are golems? I doubt we could take two stone golems. What do you guys think?" "We have blasters. I would think that would reduce stone to dust pretty quickly." He shrugs. "Let's find out. I guess having range helps if they are golems." He aims at one of the statues and blasts it with his blaster rifle. The blaster engulfs it in flames. You recoil from the heat. However, the statue comes through the inferno intact. Tully says, "Well, stay here and I will see if they are golems." He heads over to open the door between the stone statues. As the bard walks between the statues, one of them leans over, picks him up, rolls him up into a ball and drop-kicks him across the landing. Tully strikes Lo and Wang, knocking them flying. "Ouch," both Lo and Wang say from under Tully. Darian nods. "Right, then. Stone golems." Darian launches one spell worth of magic missiles at the statue on the left. Tully says, "I don't think magic missiles will work against them. We might want to avoid this battle. It takes strong magic and we don't have any." He looks at the floor. Does he think the blaster could cut through the floor beneath the golems? He does not know without trying. "I still have a magical sword and I'm no slouch as a fighter. Still, I wish Zanax was here to keep the other one off of my back." Tully says, "Well, I don't. Everything I had that was magical was destroyed except for the Jupiter, so I can't help. Maybe we should see if there is a side office and go through the ceiling or walls?" Darian nods. "Might work. Why don't the rest of you back away and I'll hold the rear guard just in case they follow." Darian draws his broadsword, just in case. You retreat back through the doorway and onto the landing at the top of the stairs. The statues do not follow. You close the door. "Now what?" Tully says, "Let me do a test." He opens the door and shoots the floor below the golems, trying to blow it away. "Do any of you have any grenades?" The floor melts into a pool of slag and then collapses, leaving a 10' diameter hole before the door, which the golems promptly fall into. "Oooh, let's go," Lo and Wang say as they head to the doors. "Quickly, before they come back," says Darian. You move back into the lobby. "Let's just be careful they can't reach up and grab us." Tully edges over towards the hole, ready to spring back if he sees one of the golems. "Hopefully, they fell through the next level due to the weight…hell, they might be on the ground floor by now." He chuckles at the thought. "Maybe they got that old crone down there!" "And, maybe when they land, they will come back up right quick," Crotchety warns, his usual pessimistic self. Looking through the hole in the floor, you see the golems lying in a pool of molten metal on the floor below. Several people who had been sitting in cubicles down there while they yelled into those cool headsets have been burned, squashed, or both. As you gape the golems sit up and start to climb to their feet. Given their size, they should be able to easily reach through the hole. Tully shoots the floor beneath them again. "Nuke the floor again. Once they are down another level, we should be good to go." "Good idea, Tully." Darian takes aim with his blaster and helps attack the floor below the golems. "Maybe we should blast a few floors. Put them down quite a way." "There is something weird in the neighborhood," Crotchety says. "What are obviously magical creatures doing in this...I don't know...technological world? There must be some connection to our home." Tully says, "Good point. We should be ready for a wizard or something." Tully and Darian open fire, blasting a hole in the floor below, under the golems again. One of them falls through it to the floor two storeys below, hitting it with a bone-jarring thud in the midst of a spray of slag. The other one darts an arm upwards and grips the lip of the hole at your feet, and hangs there for an instant. Then it grabs the lip with its other hand and starts to hoist itself up through the hole. Darian blasts the area of the floor the golem is gripping. The golem drops again to the floor below, then reaches for the lip of the enlarged hole again. Darian blasts the floor below the golem. You retreat back towards the stairwell door as Darian fires again. Another 5' or so of floor disappears. There is now a 20' hole before the door that the golems were guarding. You hear a crash as the golem drops to the floor below...again. Darian blasts the floor below the golem... Down it goes... You note that you cannot see the other golem down there, however... "Okay, let's move, now. Before we get a visit..." You can move around the hole but you will still not be able to reach the door that the golems were guarding. "I don't suppose we can all levitate over there... I've got one fly spell. Which will enable me to carry you over one at a time, but when it runs out, we'll have no way to get back." "This is just great," Crotchety says, rubbing his hands together. "We could get over there, but we can't get back and the golems can get to us here, but not if we go over there. They'll keep running up here, falling into that stupid hole, running back up ... and falling again." "Well, I wasn't completely correct. I could spend the time, when we're on the other side, to memorize a teleport spell. Just not sure if I'll be able to take everyone." "I have a rope. We can always climb down or tie it off here and on the other side." Tully anchors the rope to the stairway railing. "Let's do it quickly. We don't have time to waste." Darian casts a fly spell upon himself and begins ferrying folks across. The elf grabs Tully and the two of them fly across the smoking hole in the floor to the door. However, the door remains closed when they fly up to it. It does not dematerialize. From down in the stairwell, meanwhile, Crotchety, Lo and Wang hear heavy footfalls slowly grinding their way upwards. "Hurry up!" exclaims Wang, "Or we'll be screwed!" "We are so dead," both Lo and Wang say at the same time. "Hey!" Crotchey complains. Darian heads down to the floor below and drops Tully away from the door near the stairs. He repeats that for Lo and Crotechty. You all make it through the hole in the floor to the level below just as the first golem reaches the top of the stairs. You are in a large, garishly lit room, filled with cubicles. People sit in each cubicle, staring at those strange glass windows sitting on desks before them and yelling into those cool headsets. Every now and then one of them gets up and hurls him or herself out of the nearest window. No one is paying any attention to you. Crotchety sits down in one of the recently vacated seats, puts on the headset and starts yelling into it, just to see what it is like. "I got a late fee!" yells a voice back at him. Darian turns to Tully. "I think we'd better go somewhere else. We don't have the right skills to tackle the golems." No one else protests, so you scuttle out of the building and find yourselves back at the edge of the park. People are still jumping out of windows to land in great truckloads of paper. "I think we should wait for Zanax before continuing. We need his blade." "Good idea," Lo and Wang say at the same time. "Stop that," Lo says as he looks down. "You stop that," Wang says as he looks up. "No you," Lo replies. "No you," answers Wang. The two go at it for a little bit... Tully says, "I agree with Wang. Let's wait for Z." You pass the next three days lounging on the beach and drinking pina coladas.
Next
day...
return to the Lost in Space party July page