In the morning Occa is sufficiently rested for you to continue on.
Occa says, "Ok, let's move on everyone. Time to visit Raz's place."
He casts his daily spells before casting passwall back out into the hall.
"Ruth, what can you tell us about this entranceway?"
"Not much," she replies. "We know it is here, and he does not know that we know. He's an arch-mage, though, so I imagine that it would be trapped."
"Cue the cleric!" says Robert.
Occa looks over at Orlon. "Do you have a find traps spell?"
"One spell coming up," Orlon remarks. He casts the spell in the direction of the secret door.
The high priest detects some sort of magical trap on the section of wall where the secret door is.
Occa casts dispel magic in that area after getting everyone to stand back.
He then asks Orlon to check for traps again.
Orlon obliges, and reports that he still detects a trap there.
"Gonzo, can you take a look?"
Gonzo takes a look, being especially careful since it is magic. He sees nothing unusual.
"Hey, watch this," says Robert with a chuckle as he steps behind the dwarf and gives him a push into the door.
"HEY!" says Gonzo.
As soon as Gonzo touches the door a globe of ball lightning shoots out of it, bounces off of him, then Robert, and finally envelopes Lo.
The monk is immediately polymorphed into a large white duck, wearing a blue sailor suit with a matching hat.
Orlon no longer detects a trap on the door.
"Well," Gilstrock says, "that's one way to disarm a trap."
"Jez ducky Robert! Lookee what you did ta da monk!" giggles Gonzo. "Any one for 'duck' fer dinna? He looks likta goodies dey serves at DizzyWok..."
"Not a bad idea," says Robert, eyeing Lo speculatively.
Looking at Lo, the large blond warrior says, "You're a munk, yeah? Can yeh do open-webfoot attacks?"
Emm bursts out laughing. "Robert, you may get us killed with stunts like that, but at least you do it with style."
Occa says, "Very interesting."
Occa moves any items away from Lo that aren't part of him and has everyone step back. He will first try dispel magic on him.
Lo is transformed back into something resembling a human...but without the accent.
Occa casts wizard eye and unseen servant. He has the unseen servant open the door.
The servant bangs at the door for several minutes before opening it.
Revealed is the bottom of a shaft. It measures 10' square, and extends upwards into darkness. Ascending up the back wall is a series of iron rungs embedded into the stonework.
Occa sends the wizard eye inside and up the shaft. After a few minutes the mage reports that the shaft extends upwards for perhaps 130' and ends. There are no doors to be seen.
"My thanks, Occa-san, you are quite powerful and am honored to be in your employ!" Lo replies with a bow. "Are all your friends this mischievous?"
"Ruth, do you know anything about this entranceway?"
"From this point on, no," she replies.
Darian sighs. "Probably another secret door at the top and probably trapped. Orlon how far does your find traps spell extend?"
"It only extends 30 feet in front of me, unfortunately," Orlon replies. "I could, however, slowly climb the rungs and be on the lookout for any traps."
"Another trap?" Gilstrock says. He looks meaningfully at Robert, points at Gonzo, and moves to lift Gonzo by one arm while Robert grabs the other.
"On three," Gilstrock says, before putting down Gonzo and saying, "Just kidding! It's too far away anyway right now."
"Yeah, he's kind of heavy," says Robert.
Gonzo makes his way up the rungs, inspecting for any obvious traps and egress methods from this shaft.
He reaches the top without incident. He does not spot any more traps.
However, when Orlon, who still has his find traps spell going, steps into the base of the shaft and looks up, he spots a magical trap of some sort about 30' up, on the west wall. Note that the rungs go up the east wall, and Gonzo has ascended well past this point.
Gonzo descends and examines the area from his vantage point on the ladder.
He sees nothing out of the ordinary. It looks like a typical piece of wall.
He examines the wall on his side for any hidden levers, releases etc.
He finds none.
"Lookee out below... " he says, then pulls a dagger out and tosses it at the far wall.
When the dagger strikes the wall there is an explosion of fire, blasting out some 5' from the wall. Gonzo feels the heat but is not injured by it.
When the smoke and flames clear, Orlon reports that the trap is no more.
"Well, I guess anyone on the other side of this passage now knows we are here," Emm shrugs.
"At least no one pushed me into it. I still owe you, Robert." Lo grins evilly.
"Well, if no one knew that we are coming, they probably do now."
Darian hustles up the ladder.
Gilstrock sheathes his swords and climbs up immediately behind Darian.
The monk waits for Occa to go up and then will follow him.
The formerly trapped section is actually on the opposite wall from the ladder...separated by some 10' of air.
The wall looks just as it did previously.
"Hmmm... So, maybe that was just a trap and not really where the opening is. This is going to be a pain, isn't it..?"
Darian continues up the ladder, looking for a secret door.
He spots one where the trap was.
Gilstrock uses his boots of levitation to maintain altitude, and pushes himself off of the ladder over to where the trap was. Once there, he starts tapping at it and looking closely for any evidence of a way to open it.
The secret door suddenly slides open.
Revealed is a library - 30' square (20' north, 30' west; door in middle of left (south) wall). From where he floats, all that Gilstrock can see are shelves of books along the walls from floor to ceiling...loaded with tomes. In the centre is a leather couch and two armchairs, with a low table between them. On an angled podium nearby is another book, closed.
A delicious musty-leathery smell wafts out from the room, well known to mage types who enjoy perusing libraries.
"Boring," says Robert, from where he clings to the ladder somewhere above Occa but below Orlon. "Let's find something to kill."
Gilstrock nods. "Darian, you want a lift into this place? Occa, you might like it. too. Me and Robert, we'll stand guard."
"You might want Bubba to detect traps before you go poking around too much," Emm says.
"By all means. Orlon's checking as well. However, rather than risking your life to some magical attack, may I hold Bubba for a moment to do the detection? With Bubba's permission, of course."
"No way," Emm responds angrily. "No one, but no one holds Bubba but me."
Emm takes a moment to calm down. "Bubba, do you detect any traps around here?"
"Nope! No babes, either!"
"I coulda told you there were no babes around here," Emm retorts. "When there are some, you'll be the second one to know."
"Hey, why not the first?"
"Let's let Orlon peruse the opening before I go in. I figure Gonzo and I should explore a little bit and then let Orlon get here and do a proper search. And then, the rest of the group."
"But, yes, I wouldn't mind a lift."
"That's fine, except for one detail, the 10' between the ladder and the opening," Orlon ponders. "Can anyone levitate me over there?"
Gilstrock blinks twice at Darian, and then pushes himself back across the shaft so that he's next to the elf. "Give me the word when you want a ride."
Gilstrock looks to see what Orlon does.
Gonzo loops a rope around the ladder rungs above the door and then swing across to the opening and will hold the ropes for anyone else who wants to climb across that way.
"Orlon, can you sense any traps through the door?"
Orlon closes his eyes and chants "Oowwmm!" while trying to sense any more traps.
Orlon does not detect any traps.
Orlon asks, "When you asked me to go first, weren't you meaning for me to go into the room and check for further traps?"
Darian shakes his head. "No, just the opening. Once Gonzo and I are inside, come in behind us. Basically, I want to act as a shield against magical attacks. But, I'm no good at detecting traps. That's where you and Gonzo come in, I figure."
"Gil, if you would be so kind?"
Gilstrock takes hold of him, and pushes off across the shaft again, depositing Darian in the opening to the library. This complete, he asks, "Anybody else?"
Watching the scene unfold, Lo follows after Occa and constantly looks around for anything out of the unusual, with his knife in hand.
By rope or by Gilstrock, you all eventually find your way into the library. Orlon detects no more traps; neither does Bubba.
You start to poke around.
Suddenly, though, the couch runs across the floor under its own power, directly at Darian! An end of it strikes him for 4 hit points of damage, he flips over an arm rest, and lands flat on his back on the cushions. Before the surprised elf can react the couch has rushed over to the entrance, where it then upends itself, sending Darian sailing out into the shaft!
The couch drops back down onto its six stumpy legs and charges next at Robert.
At the same time the two armchairs come to life, as does the coffee table, and they rush to attack Jesse, Lo and Orlon, respectively.
Gilstrock turns with Thawbreaker and attacks the couch, giving the battle cry, "I'm the consumer, and I'm gonna remove your tag!"
Gonzo grabs himself some furniture with the intention of tossing it after Darian.
"Lookee out below!" he yells.
He grabs the chair which is about to attack Jesse, and starts to struggle towards the opening with it. It kicks him for 9 hit points of damage.
Occa says, "Gonzo, good idea. Toss it down into the shaft. It is just animated furniture, it would appear. Gilstrock, lend him a hand."
The mage stays back and conserves his fire power unless needed.
Gilstrock gives a frustrated grunt, takes a swipe at the couch with Thawbreaker for good measure, striking it, and then sheathes his sword and helps Gonzo toss the couch out the hatch.
Emm prepares to dodge any additional furniture that may animate. When an opportunity presents itself, he tries to cut away arms and legs on any furniture that gets near.
He moves in and attacks the chair which just took down Lo from behind. The chair is not surprised, though, but he connects with Bubba anyway. He doesn't do much damage, but the chair notices him and charges him next instead of trampling Lo to a pulp.
Orlon, meanwhile, dodges the coffee table that seems to be hell bent on his demise, and replies with Big Bruiser, marring the table's finish.
Robert battles the couch alone, Gonzo is trying to drag or carry an armchair over to the exit while Gilstrock moves to help, Emm battles the other chair, and Orlon fights the coffee table.
Darian uses his psionics to slow his fall.
The elf lands on the floor on his feet, unharmed.
Occa tosses his well of many worlds down into the path of the chair that is charging Lo. He is trying to get it to fall into it.
The chair leaps over the gaping hole and attacks Lo!
Out of the hole comes a sulphurous stench.
Robert lashes out with his bastard sword at the couch, sending a clump of stuffing up into the air. He dodges a kick from the couch.
"Oh my stars and garters," Lo replies as he lashes out at the piece of furniture that attacks him. He swings with his blade and then kicks at the mobile object, trying to smash it into lots of pieces.
The chair barrels into him for 9 hit points of damage and the monk drops under its stumpy wooden legs.
Occa casts a magic missile at the chair on Emm and lightning bolts the end of the couch that Robert isn't near.
His spell blasts into the chair. He begins his lightning bolt.
Darian waits at the bottom (outside the elevator shaft), frostbrand drawn. He'll attack any furniture that crashes down.
Robert jumps away from the couch, then brings his bastard sword down hard on it. A cloud of stuffing rises up into the air and the couch croaks.
Occa saves his spell.
Gonzo and Gilstrock man and dwarfhandle the struggling armchair over to the entrance to the shaft and toss it.
It crashes to the floor of the shaft, shakes itself off, then spots Darian, charging to attack.
Orlon is intent on turning the table into firewood with his mace.
The cleric puts another dent in the table while avoiding its attacks.
Emm and Bubba square off with the last armchair. The man is kicked for 10 hit points. Then Bubba connects, slicing into the leather.
Darian faces an armchair alone, Orlon battles the coffee table, and Robert is moving to help Emm.
Occa picks up his well of many worlds. He will then magic missile the armchair.
Gilstrock jumps down the shaft himself (slowing his fall shortly before hitting the ground using his levitation boots), and goes to assist Darian with the armchair.
Knowing that the fighters can handle things, Jesse begins to search the room, looking for traps, secret doors and the like. She won't touch anything, just wants to have a search done.
Gonzo looks around for the closest target and then charges it while muttering, "KARUMBA! Dan' blasted wizarded furniture... gets me ta Ratass and me gonna killem!"
At the bottom of the shaft, the armchair lashes out at Darian, who barely avoids the blow. The elf lashes out with his frost brand, slashing it in the cushion. Gilstrock drops down from above and attacks as well and cuts open its seat back.
Back up in the library, Bubba strikes the other armchair with little effect. Robert attacks from the rear, though, and does damage. The armchair jumps at Emm, bowling him over for 4 hit points of damage. Then, Occa pumps a magic missile spell into the chair and it collapses into a mouldering heap.
Orlon continues his duel to the death with the killer coffee table. It runs around him nimbly on its narrow legs but is unable to find an opening. Orlon clobbers it again, landing a glancing blow. There is nothing glancing about Gonzo's blow, though, as he smashes into the piece of fine furniture with his flame tongue.
Back in the shaft, Darian narrowly avoids being hit again as he lands two quick blows, dispatching the last armchair.
Gilstrock grabs the elf and they levitate back up to the library.
Orlon continues to avoid the attacks of the now damaged table but fans with Big Bruiser. Gonzo does not, however, and reduces the table to kindling.
The battle is finally over.
Meanwhile, Jesse has been poking around. There are hundreds of books in here, she notes. Glancing at the titles on the spines she sees that they seem to concern the conjuration and summoning of devils, demons, daemons and the like; enchanting magical items; scrying; along with a few historical texts and Terry Brooks fantasy novels. The whole collection would probably be worth a fair bit of money to a mage or guild.
She also notes several books without titles on their spines, along with five standard spell books and two travelling spell books.
She also notices a secret door in the west wall, centre section.
Gilstrock looks around at all the books and yawns. Then he points at Lo and says, "Can somebody fix him?"
Occa bandages Lo.
Darian looks at the battered form of Lo. "I'll take care of him. Wounded, please form a line behind the prostrate body of Lo and I'll get to you in short order."
Gonzo and Emm line up behind Lo.
Darian heals all the party's wounds.
Lo comes to and finds himself healed but still very weak.
"What hit me?" he asks, "and where am I? I feel like a steamroller blew over me, I was sitting on the beach and them WHAM..." he says deliriously.
He shakes his head a few times, "Ok, I remember, I was exploring the ruins of K'un L'un, stepped through the Mirror of Ages and then found myself here. Why did a piece of furniture attack me?" he asks no one in particular as he sits up, propped up on his elbows.
"A flamethrower would have done the trick," he chuckles.
"You know, I've never heard of animated furniture. They make pretty good guardians," says Darian.
Occa asks, "Anyone have a way to take these books? Some kind of holding device? Oh, and a sheet of smallness."
"I thought you did," says Robert.
Occa says, "No, I have a well of many worlds. I have a book that opens to the abyss. I have a spell that will create an extra dimensional space. However, I don't have a portable hole."
"Occa, can you put Lo in the sheet of smallness or would he not be able to breathe?"
"No, I cannot."
"Then someone's going to have to carry him. I don't think we dare wait for him to recover before moving on. It'd just give Raz a chance to find out and leave more nasty surprises for us."
Occa pulls out a small rag and spreads it out into a portable hole. "Just remembered that I had this."
First he casts detect magic. Anything that radiates magic, he will avoid for now. Every other book will go into the portable hole. He will get everyone to help stack them neatly in the hole.
"I have been wanting to build my library. Should help with spell research. Be careful and don't bend them!"
Gilstrock sighs, but helps Occa collect the books. "Can't eat 'em, can't kill 'em, and not even any good for gettin' some good exercise. I dunno what you guys see in books, but you mage types seem to love 'em, so here ya go."
"Thanks Gilstrock!"
Occa seems very excited by the haul.
Darian nods and also helps with the books.
All in all, you take 468 books, which Occa judges to be worth on average about 25gp each. The spell books radiate slight magic, which is the norm for those types of books, so you take them as well.
That leaves three books remaining which also radiate magic. One of them rests on the podium, and is opened to its first page. The title of the book, it appears, is 'What Is That Thing?'
The other two are clearly not spell books, and their covers and spines are unmarked.
That is all that you find of interest in the library.
Emm takes a look at the two books which are said to radiate magic, but are not spell books.
"Bubba, do you detect any traps here? Or any other treasure, while you are at it?"
"No traps! No treasure! No babes!"
Before any of the others can react, Emm opens one of the two books. The one on the left.
Occa shakes his head. He picks up his portable hole and tucks it away so that when an explosion occurs, the books aren't damaged.
However, there is no explosion.
After a minute of persuing the book, Emm declares, "Wow. I could really use this. It is a bunch of exercises and such for better health."
He flexes a muscle, looks sadly at the less than impressive result. "I'd like to keep this."
He puts it in his backpack.
Gilstrock suddenly looks interested. "You mean they have books on that sort of thing? Gee, all this time I thought books were for musty mages who liked to fust away towers with books and scrolls and pieces of lizards and stuff, and didn't like to exercise at all. Gee."
Gilstrock raises his eyebrows when Emm puts the book in his pack. "Hmm. I guess this is the new division of spoils routine, enh?"
"Oh no," mutters Robert. "Books do that to people sometimes. I've heard of people becoming absolutely rabid over an enchanted book."
"Hmm," Gilstrock says. "So the whole physical fitness thing is just a red herring, eh? And books are like I thought 'em all along?"
"Beats me," the warrior replies. "Why don't you divest Emm of it and take a look for yourself?"
You take the last two books.
"I presume we checked for traps?"
Darian stands at the door, waiting for the next surprise.
Emm and Gonzo quickly find the trick to opening the door, and you behold a 20' square room (10' north, 20' west). This is apparently Razamataz's treasure room. In here are a number of boxes and barrels, all open, and all brimming with loot and goodies.
You set to work and count out 10,000ep, 50,000gp, 60 gems (100gp ea.), a ring, a wand, four horse shoes, a suit of plate mail (dwarf-sized), a longsword and three darts.
While you are collecting the loot, Darian notices another secret door in the north wall, east section.
Darian whistles at the sight of the treasure. "Now, this is a surprise!"
"Whoaaaaaaaaa... lookee at dis stuff... looks like it be me own size!" says Gonzo, checking out the plate.
"Hey!" Gilstrock says. "I was kinda hopin' to use that as a glove!"
After a pause, the tall blond warrior slaps Gonzo on the back and says, "Just kidding!"
Gonzo looks perplexed, thinks for a moment then laughs... "Youse made a dwarf joke Gil... me bruders might likes youse da next time we see dem... tell me... how does youse looks wid an apple in your mouth?"
Gonzo returns to examining the armor, a hint of a grin on his ugly face.
Looking at it closely, Gonzo spots some words engraved in dwarven on the inside of the breast plate -
'Fade away Jose'
After the loot is collected and put away, Darian moves over to the next secret door. "Are we ready?"
"Is somebody keeping track of the loot?" Gilstrock asks. "We should check later if that longsword is magical! Oh, and the other stuff too, I guess."
"Hmmmmm... me dinks me god is watchin' out fer me... dis could come in mighty karumba handy dandy....hang on fore youse opens dat door... lez me try dis stuff out."
He strips out of his leather armor and puts on the plate.
"Now let's git on wid findin ol' Ratzass..." then concentrating, he says, "Fade away Jose."
He fades out of sight.
Robert reaches over and waves his hand through the place where Gonzo had been standing.
"He's not invisible. I think he's gone somewhere," he says.
In an imitation of Keanu, Gilstrock says, "Woah."
After a few moments, Gonzo fades back into view.
"Did you go to the astral plane, Gonzo?"
"Karumba! Dat wuz very strange. Me was in a veiled place, not like bein' invisible and I could only moves by dinkin' bout it. Perhaps me stays on dis side fer da time beings," says Gonzo about his adventure.
You resolve to open the secret door in the north wall. After some fiddling, Emm and Gonzo find the latch and it pops open.
You see a 10' wide passage running east into oblivion.
You pass through it and walk east.
After 110' it turns south. It proceeds south for 80' in all, turning east again after 70'. It runs east for another 40' and then ends.
You poke around for awhile and eventually find a secret door in the north wall, at the end.
Some more work on the part of the man and the dwarf opens the door, and you peer into a large room.
Gonzo, Robert, Emm, Darian, Jesse and Gilstrock immediately realise that they have been here before...back on December 24, 1371.
You are looking into a large, white painted room (60' X 80': 20' west, 30' east, 80' north). The last time you were transported here there was a Chrysler LeBaron in the centre of the room; this time you see a Volvo station wagon filled to the brim with disposable diapers parked there instead.
You know what happens next...
Suddenly you find yourselves sitting inside the Volvo, marvelling at the luxurious interior and inhaling the rich aroma which emanates from the diapers. Darian is sitting in the driver's seat, Jesse is beside him, and Lo is in the child carrier. The rest of you are crammed in wherever you may fit.
Suddenly there is a slight noise from under the hood, as the engine starts, then a lever on the floor between the front seats shifts, and the car moves forward.
At the same time the wall before you starts to slide up and out of sight...revealing before you...stars and blackness.
The accelerating vehicle hurtles out of the room, over the edge, and down into a bottomless, star-flecked infinity of nothingness.
It all seems so familiar.
Time passes. You eat. You try to relax. Jesse finds some bottles filled with milk and feeds them to Lo.