Time passes.
Tragon finally was able to get it up and about, but Badd and Occa seemed to have disappeared, so you spun your wheels for awhile.
At last they return. It is the last day of Goodmonth, 584.
You head outside, meeting up with Amberle and Nason...the latter having been turfed out of Akitrom's tower a month ago.
Lornard says, "I propose that it is time for us to return to the dungeon to continue our explorations."
Zanax jumps up. "Yes! I am itching to continue our quest!"
"I agree. Let's get moving."
"Yes, let's go."
Lo, covered in bites and bruises, and wearing a collar and leash, is ready to move out with Kelene leading.
Drandar is ready for action. Once more into the breech.
You leave Castle Greyhawk and make for the ruins of Zagyg's stronghold. Present are Amberle, Lornard, Zanax, Stump, Nason, Badd, Kelene, Lo, Tragon and Drandar.
The Greyhawk Ruins are the remains of the original Castle Greyhawk built by Zagyg Yragerne (the Mad Archmage) around the year 320. Zagyg was already a powerful mage when Greyhawk was just a burgeoning riverbank trading post. His adventurous exploits had taken him the length and breadth of Oerth and beyond - his command of magic had grown to heroic proportions. Zagyg built for himself an enormous castle complex north of young Greyhawk. He used it to conduct his experiments, to build his personal guard of soldiers and to store the treasure accumulated throughout his career.
However, after just a century of occupation, the castle was mysteriously abandoned.
Since then, the upper towers have crumbled and fallen, and the grounds have succumbed to erosion. What remains are the extensive underground mazes, overrun by monsterous evil creatures carefully guarding the legacy of Zagyg.
In its prime, Castle Greyhawk consisted of three main towers. They have mostly fallen into rubble, but the corresponding dungeon levels beneath them still exist. Though below ground, they are still referred to as the Tower of War, the Tower of Power and the Tower of Zagyg.
As you approach, you see that the ruins rest upon three rock pinnacles, which once supported the towers. The pinnacles have sheer slopes and ledges rising some 75' to 100' above the floor of a small valley. The Tower of Zagyg was the largest. The pinnacles are connected via natural stone archways, and a third stone bridge spans the chasm to connect with the road upon which you stand.
Just as you are approaching the stone bridge you notice a stone carving of a large falcon. It is nearly 7' tall and is leaning precariously against a tree. The grass and weeds growing up and around it suggest that it has been here for quite some time.
You head across the bridge, battling the feelings of dread, and make your way past the centre tower, heading towards the Tower of War.
It is some 200' or so in diameter. The first floor appears to be intact, though there is nothing but ruins above it. A small fort of stone has been constructed just to the south-southwest of the Tower, between it and the bridge. The fort appears to be of more recent construction than the Tower.
The fort is some 30' X 55', oriented north-northeast - south-southwest. There are two small wings on the southeast side. Looking at the northwest side, you see a door just over half way along.
On this side of the Tower you see a broad (30' wide) flight of stairs leading up to an entrance foyer before to pair of 20' wide doors.
The ten dwarves come out to say hello, give you beer, and send you into the Tower.
Before you is an enormous chamber (odd shaped: right wall curves following the shape of the tower for approx. 10', then runs northeast for 5', southeast for 10', northeast for 15', southeast for 10', east for 10', northeast for 20', north for 10', northwest for 10' (door), northeast for 10', northwest for 20', northeast for 5', northwest for 20', southwest for 5', northwest for 10', southwest for 20', northwest for 10' (stairs going down to northeast), southwest for 20' (10' wide double doors in the middle), southeast for 10', southwest for 20' (opening in last 10' section), then more or less close it up).
The alcove to the southeast is above the general floor level, and is accessed by several steps. Likewise, there is a raised dias at the back of the room in the other alcove.
This majestic hall has a great "war" table surrounded by many chairs in the alcove to the southeast. Eight pillars support the vaulting ceiling, and a pair of small thrones rest atop a short incline to the northeast. Behind the thrones is a tattered but stately tapestry portraying a scene similar to that on the entrance doors.
In the centre of the chamber are the bones of a dead warrior.
You make for the stables to the left, where you were last exploring.
This door opens to reveal a large stable whose full dimensions are not fully visible to you (right wall runs northeast for 10', then northwest for 15' (door in centre), then northeast again and out of sight; left wall runs southwest for 30', then follows the curve of the outer building wall for about 20', then north for 20', then curves off to the northeast parallel to the curve of the outer building wall and out of your view (in the middle of every 15' section is a door).
You see a pair of barrels in the corner to your left. A large pile of rotted straw lies on the floor beyond the corner that obstructs your view of the far extremities of the room. A few bones - obviously from a horse - lie on the floor to your right.
Stump wonders if it is possible to get around the rotted hay to check out the remainder of the room.
Moving farther into the room, you see the full dimensions. From the door where you entered the right wall runs northeast for 10', northwest for 15' (door in centre), northeast for 45' (door in the 10' - 15' and 30' - 35' sections), northwest for 50' (door in the 25' - 30' section). The left wall, meanwhile, runs southwest for 30', then curves following the outer perimeter of the tower to the right for about 20', then runs roughly northeast for almost 20', followed by a curving wall which eventually meets the right wall at the far end of the room. There are doors in this curving wall starting at 5' and then continuing on every 10' or so thereafter...seven in all. These are the stables that you were exploring. So far you have opened four of the door.
The monk tries to unhook his leash.
The leash is padlocked.
Kelene yanks on it.
"Heel, boy!" she says.
"Very appropriate," says the dwarf in dwarven.
He takes out his crossbow and nocks a bolt in it.
"Let's go," he says with a smile, eager to continue.
"Anyone think of a better way to speed up this exploration?" says Drandar, "Some spell to give us information and or guidance? I'm sure we don't want a repeat of the last event," he says, looking at Tragon.
Zanax nods. "I have the ability to see beyond walls or scan for thought, however, I am limited by how often I can do it."
Nason says, "There are several things we could do that would speed things up. They would be less safe, of course, but they would work. For example, instead of tentatively approaching every single door or opening, we could brashly run forward and kick it open. Probably someone with great strength would be best to do that."
He pauses. "Alternatively, we could start making as much noise as possible and draw the creatures here to us. The problem with that is generally you have one massive battle. I doubt we would be able to handle a horde of creatures descending upon us."
He shrugs. "Just some thoughts."
Lornard stares at Nason for a few moments before saying, "You're a funny man," in a purely deadpan tone.
Nason, smiling and chuckling, says, "I know, I know."
"That is good thinking, outside the box. I like it," says Drandar, "Not practical, but outside the box."
Amberle asks, "Are you guys always this decisive about the actions you take? Just trying to get a feel for how you operate, I'll get my curing spells ready."
"So will I," says Kelene.
"It varies. We're still learning about each other. Usually Zanax and Drandar make some personal decision and the rest of us follow them."
Tragon chuckles. "I'm going to hold my shield lower this time. And I have a reinforced metal codpiece."
"Is that a dwarven codpiece? They are the best," replies Drandar.
Tragon shrugs. "I bought the only one available. Since there was no selection, I did not inquire about its origin."
"The gnomish ones are enchanted to resist Heat Metal spells" chimes Badd. "I hope you got one of those."
Amberle says, "Would anyone like to tell me what happened last time?"
Tragon speaks to the floor. "A skeletal horse kicked me in my privates."
"Ouch, I guess you should watch out for that one, then."
She gets her mace ready.
Badd wanders over to the barrels and looks to see if they're still full.
There is still unholy water in them.
"Don't drink the water here either," he says. "Oh, by the way, I'm Baddenkohrlmspf Herr'Dei. My friends call me Badd. You can be one if you like. Who are you?"
"Since no one has any magical ideas, let's just do it."
Drandar moves to one side of the next door, so that when it is opened, if something jumps out, he'll have a shot at it. Drandar has his mace in hand.
"Badd, please keep a good eye on our back, lest someone sneak up on us from the rear," says Drandar. "We don't want a fight on two fronts."
"OK," says Badd happily.
He watches for anything coming from Drandar's behind.
Badd gets bored of covering Drandar's rear, and wanders around the corner for a quick look, slipping quietly into the shadows as he does so.
He sees two more piles of rotting straw: one in the northeast corner, and a second, larger one in the centre of the area, close by where the others are preparing to open a stable door.
Tragon, holding his shield a tad lower this time, opens the next stable, while Drandar stands ready.
Opening the door reveals a stable with two stalls in it (a wall running more or less west bisects the curving wall between this and the next door). In here are the skeletons of two war horses, which immediately shriek and attack!
Tragon stands ready to attack one of the skeletons with the flat of his blade.
Zanax holds up his holy symbol to destroy the skeletons.
The monk stands his ground and if one of the horses approach, he will lash out with the flat of his hand and foot.
Drandar will be ready with his mace if Zanax's turning doesn't work.
Stump will watch to see if anything else appears from the other doors. He will also see how the others are doing against the horses. If they need help then he will jump in and attack.
"Begone, foul beasts!" Zanax shouts.
The skeletons are engulfed in holy flames. With a cacophony of shrieks and wails their unlife is snuffed out.
Badd walks over to the pile closest to the centre of the area and examines it carefully. It looks boring, so he pokes it with an arrow.
Suddenly a bony hand reaches out of the pile of hay and grabs the gnome's ankle! At the same time the last two stable doors fly open and out gallop four more skeletal horses!
Nason says, "Yikes! Can you get these ones as well, Zanax?"
"Good job Badd," says Drandar. He moves to the fore where the horses are coming.
"Hey, I found them, didn't I?" replies the gnome.
"Aye lad, that you did. Now let's see if Uncle Zanax can make them into flames or if Drandar has to step up to the plate to hit a home run," says the announcer. "Batter up."
Lo stands firm.
Tragon moves to cut off the charge of the horses, swinging the flat of his blade into whatever survives Zanax's turning.
Stump, too, will rush in to attack if Zanax's turning doesn't work.
Zanax, with holy symbol still in hand, turns the undead.
"Begone, foul beasts!"
The skeletal horses are engulfed in fire and destroyed.
Badd hacks at the wrist of the hand with his shortsword, and attempts to stamp on it with his other foot. "Let go! Let go!"
Another hand gropes for his free foot, but misses.
Lornard rushes over to stomp on the wrist of this hand with his boot, trying to dislodge it from the gnome's ankle.
The ranger somehow misses the wrist but succeeds in stirring things up.
Out of the straw stand six more skeletons, and both Lornard and Badd also notice several small, worm like creatures crawling over their boots, making their ways up their legs!
Simultaneously, those doors along the southeast wall fly open, and through them come seven more skeletons!
"Eep!" says Badd. "Look everyone, I've found some more!"
He tries once again to jerk his leg away from the skeletal grip, while flicking the worm-creatures off him.
The gnome is unable to break the bony grip. With its other hand, the skeleton jabs up at him with a rusty shortsword, skewering him for 3 hit points. Meanwhile, the grub has found a patch of bare flesh, and has burrowed into Badd's arm! Badd lets out another yelp, as he feels it chewing its way through his flesh and muscle...working its way up...
Lornard again tries to stomp on the wrist holding Badd with his boot as another skeleton swings at him, slicing him for 2 hit points. His boot grinds into the bony wrist, but still the undead will not let go.
He mutters to himself about needing to learn how to use a mace or another blunt weapon.
Amberle pulls out her holy symbol and points it at the seven. "Death was your Fate, now return to that state!"
One skeleton turns and runs away, to cower in the southwest corner of the room, by the barrels.
"Good, I think we found them," says Drandar, "Zanax, try to deal with the skeletons on Badd. Lo, Tragon, with me."
He attacks with his mace.
The dwarf sidesteps a prodding spear, then smashes the attacker to smithereens.
"By my stars and garters, do these bastards breed?" Lo asks as he prepares to lay a smack down on any skeleton that gets with in fist and/or foot range.
The monk puts his foot to a skeleton, smashing some ribs. It jabs him for 2 hit points. Tragon stands next to Drandar, ready to face the oncoming skeletons.
"Lornard, please continue to help Badd."
A rusty shortsword clangs off of Tragon's gleaming breast plate, then he smashes the skeleton to bits.
Nason says, "Yikes!"
He casts one magic missile spell...focusing it on the second worm that is crawling up his friends leg.
He blows the second grub on Badd to pieces.
He then throws a dagger at a skeleton.
The dagger flies right through his target's rib cage without hurting it.
Stump attacks the skeletons coming through the doorway. The warrior connects and kills an undead with ease.
"To ashes!" Zanax cries as he holds forth his holy symbol to turn the skeletal beasts.
The remaining three skeletons that came from the other room are engulfed in flames.
The other five skeletons which stood up from the pile of rotting hay move to attack!
Tragon turns and runs towards the skeletons, meeting the closest one with his shield and sword at the ready.
Another rusty blade clangs off of the paladin's chest, and Tragon busts another skeleton.
Nason throws another dagger if he can at the skeletons. His blade flies into an eye hole of an undead, lodging there and killing it.
"Bastard," Lo moans. The skeleton which stuck him is destroyed.
"Urk," says Badd. "I'm being eaten. This isn't right!"
Drandar also moves to attack whatever skeletons are left.
"Kelene, can you see to Badd?" he calls he does.
"Yeah, I could do with a little help," says Badd. "Actually, a lot of help. Very soon!"
The cleric rushes over, then recoils at the sight of the grubs.
"Rot grubs!" she says. "He needs cure disease or he's dead!"
The gnome, meanwhile, is prodded for 3 more hit points of damage by the skeleton. The grub is still chewing its way through his upper arm, nearing his shoulder joint.
A skeleton meets Drandar but its swinging blade misses. The dwarf connects and smashes the monster.
Lornard beats at the bony hand grabbing Badd's leg with the flat of his sword, again trying to cripple or dislodge that hand. He misses with his foot. The other skeleton attacking him also misses.
More grubs are crawling over his boots and up his legs, now.
"More?" Zanax roars. Brandishing his holy symbol once more, he turns the skeletons, "Back to the grave!"
The remaining skeletons in the straw pile, including the ones on Badd and Lornard, are engulfed in flames. The straw flares up as well, and you retreat.
Zanax turns the one skeleton which is cowering in the corner, destroying it.
Badd still has a rot grub inside of him, while the others seems to have been killed by the heat of Zanax's holy attack.
"Yeegh!" shouts Badd. "Plague, plague...I'm diseased!"
He leaps away from the straw, and falls over in a heap.
"Zanax, can you cure disease? Kelene, Amberle, what about you?"
Amberle says, "I cannot."
She gets her mace ready for any skeleton that comes near.
"I don't have it!" says Kelene.
"Tragon," Lornard says. "Are you capable of curing diseases? Badd has been infected with a very fast moving parasite!"
"Hold still!" Zanax says to Badd, as uses his Cure Disease ability to kill the rot grub.
You hear a squeak from somewhere inside the gnome's armpit, then the grub appears from a freshly bored bloody hole within that cavity, and drops to the floor, dead.
Badd gulps, as he squishes the grub beneath his boot. "Next time I'll just set things on fire from a distance.
"Hey, thanks," continues Badd. "I can't recommend being on the outside of a rot grub."
Amberle says, "That looks pretty bad, Badd, do you need a heal or are you ok for now?"
Blood is dripping out of the hole in his armpit and he feels a breeze blowing through the tunnel through his arm that the grub bored.
"I appear to be topologically afflicted." Badd replies to Amberle. "A heal would be nice."
"Oh, I don't know, Badd... You're pretty holy right now. You may want to pass yourself off as a miracle."
Amberle walks over to him. "Oh Mother of Fate grant this poor soul some relief."
She then touches his shoulder, healing him for 5 hit points. The wounds close.
No more monsters seem to be forthcoming, so you complete your exploration.
In the ashes of the burned straw you find a bar of gold (75gp). Checking out the rest of the stables, you find nothing of interest or value.
You check out the room to the southeast, from which the last seven skeletons emerged. It measures 15' X 45' (three doors as previously described). There are a number of ancient, rotted beds in here. Above them are some shelves. The shelves are barren but for a lone metal box in the far east corner.
Tragon squints his eyes. "Looks like the box has Badd written all over it."
The monk walks around, looking, and approaches the metal box.
The box is locked.
Zanax scans the room and box for evil.
Lo tries to find and remove traps and then attempts to open the lock.
"Don't worry, I have had to make a few, heh, illegal entries in my time," he chuckles as he works on the lock.
While Lo works, Amberle asks, "What did exactly force you out of here last time, was it monsters or traps?"
Zanax chuckles as he looks at the other paladin in the party. Looking back to Amberle, he replies stoically, "Some things are best left unsaid..."
"Do you remember why I was in bed when you joined the group? That's what forced us out."
Suddenly you hear a loud -
THWACK
- and a pair of darts fly past Stump's ear.
Lo apparently found the trap...the hard way.
Opening the box, the monk discovers that it is empty.
Finding the darts on the far side of the room, though, you see that they are of gold and hence of value (20gp ea.). However, the points of them seem to be smeared with some sickly green goo.
There is one more unopened door in this area...in the northeast wall of the stable room.
Tragon rolls his eyes at Lo.
"Excellent, Lo. You found a trap. I did not realize you could cast magic spells. Next time you might want to ask Badd to show you the finer points of trap detection, gnomes, I have been told, are very good at such things," says Drandar in a deadpan voice.
"I can't cast spells, I have been trained to break into places that I am not supposed to be in. I took a course at Langley and it has been a while. All I need is some practice."
Lo sticks his tongue out.
"No, you clearly cast a spell. Detect traps 1/2," says Drandar.
Amberle looks at the darts in the wall. "Are you sure it wasn't a trap? I'll make a mental note, don't stand behind Lo when he opens a chest."
"He was being sarcastic, Amber!" Lo says with a shake of his head.
Amberle replies, "I'm sure he was, but that's not what I'm remarking about. And the name is Amberle."
"Let's make sure everyone is healed as best we can before moving on."
"Come on Tragon, what could happen? You have your codpiece," laughs Drandar. "And if there is anything behind that door, they should come pouring out right about now."
"I'm not wounded, Drandar, but I was concerned some of the others might be. Having one of our companions fall during a fight because we were too lazy to bring them back to full health could be our undoing."
Zanax scans the area behind the unopened door for evil.
You go back into the stable area and open that northeast door.
Before you is a chamber, clean and neatly furnished (right wall runs northeast for 10', then around a corner to the right and out of sight; left wall runs northwest for 30', then follows the curve of the outer wall for about 30', then runs southeast for 15', southwest for 10', and finally southeast for 15' and out of sight; door in middle of this last section).
While the room looks nice and tidy, a horrible rotting stench assails you. There are two sets of tables in here: one roughly in the centre, while the second is off to the north end. A fireplace is in the corner to your left...and between it and you is a side board.
Lornard asks, "Is anybody keeping a map of this place?"
"Stump is, right?"
Stump finishes scribbling down the last details of this room, then tells Lornard, "Yes I'm just finishing up."
"Where's the smell coming from?"
Zanax draws his frostbrand and holy symbol. He scans for evil.
"'T ain't me," says Drandar as he switches from mace to his magic sword. "Anything, Zanax?"
Stump checks out the sideboard.
Apart from some cracked crockery and an old boot, there is nothing of interest inside.
The fireplace is cold and unlit. However, atop the mantle the dwarf finds a gold-bladed knife (50gp).
"Where the hell could that smell be coming from?" Lo asks no one in particular as he looks up at the ceiling and then the floor to see if there is anything suspicious.
Amberle asks, "Is it all that important we find out what's making the smell? "
"If its more undead and at our back, when something else gets us at our front, then yes, Amber Lee, it is, you never want to get caught in a cross fire. You end up real dead, real quick!" he replies.
"One would suspect any would have popped up by now. Probably some rotting foodstuffs. Why don't you try burning something, worked before."
"How little you know and I thought you were one of the clergy? I was on this case in New Orleans and this bitch named LeVeau sent some zombies after us. They waited for twenty minutes until our entire squad was in the building and then attacked. Mm, a few slugs to the head and they dropped like a sack of taters !" he chuckles. "A shame my glocks didn't make it here!"
Zanax tries to track down the stench with his nose.
The paladin's proboscis leads him towards that door which is across the room.
He looks right, and down the passage. In fact, you all do, seeing that the passage runs southeast for about 30', ending at a door. There are doors in each 10' section of the left and right walls as well.
The stench seems to be coming from down the passage and through the doors.
Zanax opens that first door, at the extreme northwest.
He looks into a 10' square room. It is a bed chamber, furnished with a small cot. the right wall is hung with a curtain along its entire length.
The source of the stench is now obvious, as Zanax finds himself confronted by a staggering, swaying, rotting, worm-ridden corpse...a zombie! It swings a rusted broadsword at him...
"I see dead people," Lornard says in a deadpan tone of voice.
Lornard looks around to make sure that other zombies aren't coming at the group from elsewhere.
Zanax raises his holy symbol. "Back to the grave!"
The zombie explodes in flames, and drops.
As this happens another rotting hand thrusting a sword reaches through the drapery to his right! The paladin jumps aside, and the sword misses.
"Undead. I hate undead," says Drandar, who is ready to assist Zanax.
Tragon turns to another door and, with sword and shield at the ready, waits patiently for another zombie to come out and play.
The three doors on the southwest side of the passage open, and out step three more zombies.
Lo swings with his knife of sharpness at a zombie. He carves off a slice of rotting flesh as the undead prods him with its sword for 4 hit points.
Amberle brandishes her holy symbol again - "Back to the fate you were dealt."
The zombie ignores her.
"Ouch!" Lo utters as he swings his blade again. "Seems you were wrong, Amber Lee."
Lo, in an amazing display of dexterity, manages only to give himself a close shave with his blade. However, the zombie is no more accurate with its blade, either.
Drandar attacks whatever zombie is nearby with his sword.
He chops down a zombie.
Tragon smiles at the sight. "I knew they'd come out and play. Zanax, try your holy symbol again."
The paladin cuts down the third zombie.
Zanax sighs. "A paladin's work is never done..."
With frost brand in one hand and holy symbol in the other, he cries out.
"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust!" to turn the zombies.
The zombie explodes into flames.
The last two doors on the northeast side open and out step two more of the undead.
Stump attacks the nearest zombie, cutting it down with ease.
Zanax, turning back into the passage, brandishes the holy symbol of Votishal again, and the last two zombies are consumed in flames.
When the smoke clears you search the area, but find nothing of interest or value.
You head down to the southeast end of the passage and you open the door at the end.
This is another bedroom (10' square). The floor in here is raised towards the back, where a small bed stands.
In here, you are not surprised to find another horde of undead...namely four skeletons and four zombies.
They move to attack, the skeletons leading.
Tragon moves to meet the undead. "Zanax, your holy symbol's getting
quite the work out."
Drandar keeps his sword in hand, and using the flat of the blade attacks skeletons.
Lo hangs back.
Lornard draws his sword.
Stump watches the hallway for any more intruders.
Zanax, still with holy symbol and frost brand in hand, brandishes the holy symbol to turn the undead. He commands, "By Votishal's will, be gone!"
All of the undead are consumed.
You search the room, finding nothing but a strange, translucent blue key held to the underside of the bed by a wire.
"You know, without Zanax, we'd be having a very tough time getting through this. Thanks, Zanax!"
Zanax waives off the thanks. "There will be time enough for praise when the quest has been finished."
"Let's check out the other zombie rooms."
Checking them out reveals nothing of interest or value.
You recall several unexplored exits from the throne room.
Zanax scans the room and key for evil.
"Yo, Lo. Want to see if there is a trap on that key? Maybe see how well the CAI trained you," says Drandar.
"No chance, the CIA did not train me in magic and that ain't no lightbulb that key is plugged into!" he says, staying away from the glowing key.
"But experience is the best teacher," says Drandar, "Badd, think you can see what's going on. At least once we get the report on evil level from our evil-counter," says the dwarf, grinning at the overworked, and underpaid Paladin.
In reply, the gnome takes the key and swallows it.
He begins to glow blue from within.
"Um...Badd? Why did you eat the key?"
"Burp," he answers.
The paladins, meanwhile, have detected no evil.
"No evil, so, Lo, want to get it now?" Drandar says laughing, "Gnomes."
"Do you have any functioning brain cells?" Lo asks Badd after watching him eat the key.
"Mmm," says Badd. "Tastes like chicken."
Nason says, "Interesting choice. Let's move on!"
Drandar checks around for secret doors and the like before moving on.
Drandar finds no secret doors.
"Map maker, map maker, make us a map. Give us a direction, fetch us a door," sings Drandar, looking towards Stump.
"I believe we have to go back to the first room we explored. Maybe the key that Badd ingested will open another passage for us."
You return to the throne room.
In here you find three unexplored exits: a flight of stairs going up, a flight of stairs going down, and an unopened door in the southeast alcove where the table is.
"Just say if you need the key back," says Badd proudly. "Three-time champion in the county midsummer fair regurgitation contest! I used to be able to cover a copper piece with Purple Dwarf Barlin at fourteen feet."
Tragon makes a face. "I don't think we needed to know that."
"Why don't we go up? This is a tower, after all."
"Just giving you all the options," says Badd merrily. "Of course that was my misspent youth."
He looks into the middle distance. "Who'd know that a misspent middle age was on its way?"
Nason says, "I am fine with going up, although we could be caught between two forces if we leave creatures at our backs."
"Well, no matter which option we choose, we leave two behind that could have creatures that venture back here and come at our backs."
Badd goes over and looks at the door in the southeast alcove, checking it for traps and seeing if it has a lock.
The door is not locked. He sees no traps.
"Makes sense to clean it out in layers though," he says.
Nason says, "I agree with you both."
Tragon shrugs. "Okay, we can go southeast. Matters not to me."
Badd pushes the door open, and runs away before looking over his shoulder to see if anything's coming out.
Before he runs away, Badd notices some words scratched into the paint of the door:
"Lord Nogoz nose where u iz. Wach ur baks."
"That's interesting. Too bad whomever is writing these things doesn't know how to spell."
Amberle agrees, "Yeah, maybe someone Lo knows."
"Anyone know who Lord Nogoz is?" he inquires.
Through the door you glimpse a passage. It ends immediately to the left, and angles south immediately to the right. Across from you, in the wall facing northeast, is another door. The passage is about 10' wide.
Nothing comes out to eat you.
"Well, shall we go in?"
"Ready."
Zanax scans for evil.
He then draws his frostbrand and moves forward to scan for evil through the other door.
Tragon draws his sword and moves along with Zanax.
He detects no evil in the passage, or through the door.
The rest of you crowd in behind the test paladins.
To your right, the passage only extends south for roughly 8' before it opens up into a kitchen to the southeast (right wall runs southwest for about 25', south for about 3' (door), east for about 4', southeast for 15' (door in middle), northeast for 30' (door in last section), then northwest to close it up).
This old kitchen is in a terrible state. Plates and utensils are tossed on the floor and tables, knives are plunged into the wood, and the remains of globs of long dried food sit on the counters.
On the long table near the centre of the room is an enormous stack of cream pies.
You don't like the look of this...
"I have a very bad feeling about this," Lornard says, holding his bow and an arrow loosely in his hands.
Zanax scans for evil and mentions, "Remember that barrel of unholy water..."
As he does so, two of the pies rise up into the air as if of their own accord, then fly at you!
Tragon holds his shield up in front of his face and ducks!
Not fast enough, it seems, as Zanax and Tragon are hit square in their respective kissers!
Zanax also detects evil here.
Zanax wipes the cream from his face and raises his shield. He then charges toward the source of evil and attacks with his frostbrand.
Tragon wipes the cream free of his eyes and follows Zanax with his own sword drawn. He checks for evil as well.
Badd giggles.
"Perhaps it's a..." he thinks for a moment. "I think you'd say 'noisy ghost' in human language."
"Poltergesit," Lornard says. "I have no idea how to fight one."
Nonetheless, he keeps an arrow loosely strung in his bow, looking around for a target.
"Turning it might work," replies Badd. "But if it's only going to throw custard pies, perhaps we should just ignore it.
He grins suddenly as if struck by a thought. "Hey, you're not the lexicographically challenged Lord Nogoz, are you?" he calls.
Amberle retreats back to near the door. "I guess you don't want to threaten it."
As the paladins advance a second pie hits Tragon. He cries out in fear, and then turns and runs for the exit, knocking over Amberle in the process.
Zanax swings his blade and connects with something. He hears an unearthly thin wail, and the evil before him is gone.
Meanwhile Kelene raises her holy symbol.
"Scoot!" she cries.
In return she gets a pie in her face.
"Yuck!" she says.
Zanax spins about and swings again, and something else expires. A pie flies by him and hits Lo in the mug.
The paladin swings at the last source of evil, and it too is gone.
After a few minutes Tragon is found out in the throne room, cowering under that large table.
You fish him out and he gradually recovers. He sees that Kelene and Lo have also been hit with pies.
You return to the kitchen. Searching about, you find little of value except for something of gold that has been smashed beyond recognition, though the metal itself is still of worth (45gp), and a glowing scimitar lying on the floor in the south corner.
You have four doors to explore.
"Mmm," Lo says as he approaches Kelene and licks the pie off of her face.
"Want some?" he asks her with a wide grin.
"Ummm...don't mind if I do," she answers, leaning in close. Then, you hear a click and Lo finds himself on the leash again.
"Lick a little lower down, Fido!" she commands, jerking his chain.
"Can you two find a room please, there is something just not right about that," Drandar says, frowning.
"Dwarves are such prudes!" says Kelene, "Missionary position all the way!"
Badd sticks his arm out, and spins around and around until he falls over.
"That's more fun with a hammer," he says. "Maybe I should've taken that priest of Thor up on his offer."
He looks along his arm to see which door is closest to the way he's pointing. It is the one in the southeast wall, southern section.
He then goes over to check it for traps.
"How's about this one?" he asks. "Fate seems to be sending us this way."
Zanax collects the gold and scimitar for the party and checks for evil at the various exits.
The paladins detect no evil at any of the doors. Badd has found no traps in the meantime, so you open his door.
Through it you see an odd shaped room (right wall runs northwest to the corner delineated in the description of the kitchen, then turns west and runs for almost 15', then southwest for maybe 8'; left wall runs southeast to the corner previously described for the kitchen...both walls then are joined by a curving wall which follows the radius of the outside wall of the tower if you get my drift). This is a pantry. It is empty but for a small metal flask that you find in a shelf in a corner.
You next open the door to the right of this one, facing west. This reveals another pantry. Again it is deserted.
You next open the door that is ajar in the southeast wall. Through it you see another odd shaped room (right wall runs southwest for 15', southeast for almost 10' (door); left wall runs northeast for maybe 5', then southeast for about 20'; a curving back wall joins everything up). This was the bedchamber for the kitchen help. It is in disarray with sheets, pillows, feathers and broken chairs lying around as if a whirlwind had hit them. Evidently the poltergeists have been busy here as well.
You go over to the door and after a few tries manage to open it. Through it you see a roughly triangular shaped closet, empty but for two enormous scorpions which scuttle at you to attack!
Zanax and someone else are in the forefront.
"Ee-oo!" shouts Badd. "Kill, Zanax, kill!"
Zanax hacks at the nearest scorpion with his frostbrand.
Drandar, who thinks he's in the front, also attacks.
The monk nocks a bolt in his crossbow, aims, and waits to fire at the nearest scorpion.
Amberle has no missile weapons, so she gets her mace ready and waits till an opportunity becomes available.
Stump moves up front and waits for an opening to attack.
Fighting in the doorway, only Zanax and Drandar can attack. The rest of you wait until one of them drops.
Zanax draws first blood, critically injuring his scorpion with one swing of his frost brand. For his trouble he is nipped by a pincer for 1 hit point. His second swing finishes off the creature.
Beside him, Drandar chops the other scorpion in half with one swipe of his bastard sword.
Searching the closet, you find nothing of interest or value.
That leaves only one door in this area to open...in the passage opposite the door that leads back to the throne room.
You go and open it.
Through it you see a 7' wide passage running northeast for 50'. After that it opens up into chamber. In the 10' - 20' section of the right wall is a door.
You head down to the door. You note that it is locked.
"Out of the way!" calls Badd once the lock is found. "Gnome coming through."
He pushes his way forward to find the locked door, and starts checking it for traps.
"Badd, would you like to eat your way through the door?" Lo asks with a chuckle.
Badd grins.
"Wanna see if I can hit you from here with the key?" he asks.
"I do," says Drandar. "Ten on the gnome."
"Your key against my bolt, who do you think would win?" he asks with a toothy smile.
Drandar looks at Zanax. "It's all fun and games till someone pokes an eye out."
Zanax sighs at the squabbling children. "Depends on whose eye it is..."
Zanax scans for evil at the various exits.
He detects no evil.
Badd looks round Lo and says to Kelene, in gnomish, "Testosterone problem. Could you possibly take him away and fix it while I unlock this door?"
Kelene nods and yanks on Lo's chain.
"Let's go back and check out that bedroom again, Lo-boy!" she says.
"Yes, sweetheart," he says with a wide smile.
"That just ain't right," mutters Drandar.
As those two move off out of sight, Amberle comments, "Couldn't we just sneak off and leave them here?" She looks around at everyone then shakes her head. "I guess not, who knows what they would breed with down here."
"I'd be surprised if any remotely sentient creature would breed with Lo," murmurs Badd, puzzling over the lock. "Except Kelene, who seems to get a kick from the bizarre."
"You're next, sweetie!" calls Kelene over her shoulder, with a lewd bat of a heavily mascara'd eye.
"It would certainly have an effect on the landscape." says Drandar. "Does that seem right to you?"
"Badd, how's the door coming?"
"Oh, I imagine it'll take longer than Lo," replies Badd.
While Badd works the door you start hearing a lot of noises from the bedroom you just left. The gnome finds nothing dangerous, so next he picks the lock. Opening the door, you see a passage heading southeast, about 7' wide, and running for about 50' before ending at a curving wall. On the right wall, at about the 10' - 15', 30' - 35' and 45' - 50' sections are doors. On the left wall, in the 25' - 35' section is another passage.
Each of the doors are locked, you note. You head over to the first door, and after checking it, Badd picks the lock successfully. Revealed is a bedroom (odd shaped: left wall runs southeast for 5', then southwest to fill in that area). There is a bed in here, neatly made up though the bedding is ragged. Searching reveals nothing of interest or value.
Badd again successfully picks the next lock, and you see another bedroom (rectangular: left wall runs southeast for 5', then southwest to close it up). It is similarily furnished to the last one, and searching again finds you nothing.
You look up the passage to the northeast, and see that it runs for 30' (left wall) / 35' (right wall)...ending in an angled wall. There are five more doors along this passage: three on the right at roughly equal intervals; and two on the left, again equally spaced.
You make for the last door in the southeast passage. Badd sees no traps, but is unable to pick this lock.
You leave it for the moment and go up the northeast passage to the first door, which is on the right. Badd manages to pick this lock, and you see another bedroom (left wall runs for 5', then southeast for about 10'; the back wall is curved). Like the other bedrooms, there is nothing of interest or value in here.
The next door is on the left, and Badd cannot pick the lock.
The second door on the right is opened, and you see another bedroom (dimensions similar to the adjacent one). Again, nothing of value or interest.
Badd is successful at opening the last door on the left side, revealing yet another bedroom (roughly 8' X 10', bisecting the wall of that passage). Yet another bedroom, and just as uninteresting as the others.
The gnome opens the final door on the right, and you see - surprise - a bedroom. Its dimensions fill in the remaining space, if you extend the angled back wall of the passage. Again, searching is futile.
At this point Kelene and Lo rejoin you...the latter walking somewhat stiffly...as if he has just spent a long day in the saddle. Kelene is putting something away into her backpack, though you cannot see what it is.
Badd grins.
"Not a bad average for me," he says. "But back when I was young, people locked things up that were worth locking."
He looks around, holding up his little lockpick. "Anyone else want to try the other doors, or is it time to bring the axemen in?"
Stump scratches his head. "This floor is a waste of time. Let's see what's upstairs."
Zanax ignores the over-sexed party members and suggests, "Let's just knock down the other two doors and then move onto a different floor."
"Sure. Are we going to use Drandar as a battering ram?" Tragon winks at Drandar.
"Nobody tosses a dwarf," says Drandar.
"It's OK. Just as long as you don't tell the elf!" Stump blurts out, laughing.
"Oh, we'd hold onto you."
"Tragon, you can do that a day after Lo get's castrated. He's a bad as a cat in heat," says Drandar, before going to a door and opening it.
The rest of you follow him.
Tragon laughs. "Actually, I'd say that about Kelene. But, think on this. If Lo wasn't occupying her, she'd come after one of us..."
Tragon shudders.
"Probably you, being a pretty boy," replies the dwarf, "'sides, I'm married."
"That just means you've done it before!" chirps in Kelene.
The last two doors are eventually opened, revealing more bedrooms like the others. Nothing of interest is found in either of them.
Before you take this adventure to the next level, you leave this area and continue down the northeast passage, to inspect the chamber at the end.
It is big...so big that its full dimensions cannot be gauged from the entrance (left wall runs northeast for about 20', then turns northwest and out of sight, door in 10' - 15' section; right wall runs southeast for about 25', then east for almost 10', then a curving wall runs off to the left...doors in 8' section, and every 10' thereafter in curved wall). A large pillar supports the ceiling overhead. You see the end of a table to the left, beyond that corner. You see a cloaked figure sitting at the end of the table. He appears to be regarding something on the table (out of sight from your vantage point), and pays no attention to you.
Walking off the slight limp he seemed to be having after his session with Kelene, Lo looks around to see if there is anyone or thing around. He scans the ceiling and the walls for any movement or possible enemies.
He sees nothing else.
Tragon whispers, "Our bad speller or the one that the bad speller is warning about?"
Zanax whispers back, "Everyone stay here a sec and I'll contact Drandar with what I find out..."
Zanax turns invisible and uses his Boots of Elvenkind to get a better look at the cloaked figure and what he's doing...as well as check for evil.
He uses his telepathy to send back the info to Drandar.
Drandar communicates what Zanax sees to everyone:
Zanax moves forward to the northeast corner, just past that door.
From there he can see more of the room: past the corner this wall proceeds northwest for almost 60', then turns west and out of his sight again. The curving opposite wall continues around, and eventually out of sight. In all, he sees 11 doors in that wall, including those seen earlier. He also sees part of a second pillar, off to the northwest.
There are two huge, unlit fireplaces in the wall beside him.
He sees two more tables in here, as well. Around each sit more of the cloaked figures, all staring at a golden object on each table. On the first table it is a bracelet; on the second a small chalice; and on the third a belt buckle.
There are 13 of them in here, and they continue to be oblivious to your presence.
Zanax scans the 13 figures for evil.
He detects no evil.
He then sees if he can get a look at one of their faces or determine if they are undead.
He maneuvers quietly closer, and gets a look into several faces.
He sees that they are skeletons.
Zanax carefully draws his holy symbol.
"What? Are we the only live ones here?" Lo asks, getting tired of all the skeletons.
At the sound of his voice, the skeletons turn around and face the entranceway...at last becoming aware of your presence.
They jump up and rush at you, pulling swords out from underneath their robes!
Drandar draws his mace and stands his ground, preparing to defeat the skeletons, and hoping Zanax gets to turn them.
"Kelene, gag him."
"And then beat him to a bloody pulp," Tragon adds in disgust.
Tragon draws his sword and moves to the left of Drandar.
"I will apply the clue by four after we deal with these foes," replies the dwarf. "He might like the other option."
Amberle smacks Lo in the head with her mace. Obviously his brain is centered below his waist.
Amberle pulls up her mace and gets ready. "So far that's all we've seen, why expect different?"
"It's not like we weren't going to fight them!" Lo says, waiting for one of the undead to come in range, where he will chop and strike at them.
"Lo, your mouth is talking. You might want to look into that," says Drandar.
"What?" he asks, seriously not understanding what he did wrong.
"I'm thinkin' you weren't burdened with an overabundance of schooling," replies Drandar, deadpan.
"I am well educated, short round, just not in the things that this world seems to offer!" he retorts.
"And seemingly not in common sense, Lo. Or hadn't you noticed that the undead hadn't noticed us until you opened up your mouth and spoke? Do you have a death wish? If so, it'd be better if you didn't try and take the rest of us with you."
"No death wish," he says, "and they were looking this way as I said something, so just do your holy thing and stop blaming me," he replies.
Zanax sighs, becomes visible and turns the skeletons. "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust...by Votishal's will, this you must"
As the skeletons run by him, the paladin becomes visible as he turns them.
Four skeletons erupt in flames; the rest attack the remainder of the party.
Tragon, Drandar, Lo, Stump and Amberle face them.
Stump does battle with the first one that comes within range.
Striking with the flat of his sword, Stump easily connects, sending bits of bone flying everywhere as he destroys his foe.
Close by, Tragon fans badly. His skeleton clangs its rusty sword off of his plate mail.
Drandar gets nicked for 3 hit points as he connects with his mace, failing to dispatch the creature.
The monk launches a flying drop kick at a skeleton, crunching its rib cage. For his efforts he is stabbed for 2 hit points.
Amberle moves quickly with her mace but still misses. Her target is more accurate, though, and she suffers 2 hit points of damage.
Zanax moves to help you; then he hears the creak of rusty hinges to his left, as the doors along the outer, curving wall slowly open, and out stagger a horde of zombies!
"Eep!" shouts Badd. "Maggot-ridden corpses! Been there, done that!"
He starts shooting arrows at the creatures. "Anyone got any oil?"
His first shot embeds itself in Zanax's shield.
Suddenly a skeleton confronts him, poking him with his sword for 2 hit points.
Drandar presses his attack. "Doesn't anything live here that is alive?"
Drandar is slashed for 4 hit points, then the dwarf smashes his assailant to bits. A second skeleton attacks him but its swing is wide.
Zanax, hoping the others can cope by themselves for a short while, holds forth his holy symbol toward the zombies and turns them. "Feel Votishal's power!"
Ten of the twelve zombies collapse in flames.
"Amberle, Kelene, try turning the skeletons."
Amberle replies, "I'll get a chance once I smash this one to pieces."
Kelene whips out a holy symbol, which looks suspiciously like a dildo.
"Begone, undea...whoops...wrong symbol."
She holds up another symbol, this depicting a quarter moon.
"Scram, skeletons!"
Two of the skeletons turn and run away.
Amberle attacks the skeleton again.
The cleric dodges a swing of the skeleton's sword, then misses again with her mace.
Tragon continues to attack the skeleton in front of him.
The paladin connects, and bones go flying. The skeleton bounces his sword off his gleaming plate mail again. Tragon fans with his second attack.
"Mother humper," Lo remarks as he is cut. He redoubles his efforts and tries to slam the skeleton.
Both he and his foe miss each other.
"Why is everyone shouting the names of their gods?" asks Badd. "Can't they hear you otherwise?"
"Gods are notoriously hard of hearing," replies Drandar.
"I don't believe in gods," Lo says, "I believe in what I can feel and see!"
His slam works, shattering the undead to bits.
"Well my days of not taking you seriously, Lo, are certainly coming to a middle," Drandar says.
"Oh," says Badd, confused. He glances sideways at Kelene, then back at Lo. "You mean Mother Humper's not the name of your god?"
"No, would you worship a god with a name like that?" Lo asks with a smile.
Badd grins, "Well no, but you and I have very different proclivities."
"True enough, this is one strange place," he says with a shake of his head.
"I'll convert you to my god...the god of love!" chips in Kelene.
"We shall see, dear, we shall see!" he chuckles. "But your god of love should teach you that it is as good to receive as it is to give," he says as he is finally walking straight.
"Could you not do that..." Drandar says, looking at Lo, "Ever."
"You weren't invited to join, so don't worry about it!" he says with a nod.
Amberle says to Lo, "That's pretty limited thinking."
Drandar frowns. "This here's a recipe for unpleasantness."
Badd nods at Lo's pelvis. "Given what he thinks with, it's pretty impressive."
"Is this what going mad feels like?" Drandar asks Tragon.
"Depends on whether you mean insane or angry."
"And your point would be...?" asks Tragon.
"If I meet a god, then I could change my mind," Lo replies to Amberle, then asks Tragon, "And what's your problem?"
Stump turns his attentions to the zombies, while others quote philosophy.
Rushing at a zombie, the warrior misses and rushes right by it. The zombie swings its sword at Stump, but also misses.
Lornard, not having a blunt weapon, expects to be more useful against the fleshy zombies than the, er, skeletal skeltons. He moves over and attacks zombies with his sword.
The ranger also misses his zombie, as it slashes at him. His gleaming chain mail protects him.
Next, Lornard misses again as he is slashed for 7 hit points. He clutches his midrift, and drops.
Stump also fans again, as he sidesteps the zombie's attack.
Lo leaps to Badd's aid...leaping right past the skeleton.
Tragon finally smashes his skeleton to bits.
Zanax attacks the zombie that felled Lornard. Two quick thrusts with his frost brand polishes it off.
Amberle again misses with her mace as she is stabbed for 1 hit point.
Kelene helps her out. Displaying surprising ability with her glowing shortsword, the drow smashes the skeleton's skull. The undead continues to fight, though.
Drandar dodges another sword attack as he spins about and clobbers the next skeleton, pulverising it.
Badd finds himself in a melee. With his shortsword he misses, then avoids the undead's attack by running between its legs.
The skeleton spins around and misses the gnome again. Badd runs between his legs again.
Drandar helps them out. A single swipe with his mace drops the undead.
Amberle yet again misses her attacker, but it fares little better. Kelene connects again, showering you with bone fragments as the undead is dispatched.
Stump finally drives his longsword into the zombie, but it does not drop. The warrior avoids its return attack. Zanax appears behind it, though, and quickly does it in.
All of the undead are dead, except for the two skeletons that Kelene turned. You quickly see to Lornard. After a few minutes he groans and opens his eyes.
He will be out of action for a day, the clerics prognosticate.
All of the undead are destroyed, with the exception of two skeletons, who are still cowering in the extreme northwest corner of the chamber, you discover.
Lornard groans.
"Thank you," he says. "My combat prowess is not proving up to snuff."
Tragon kneels down next to Lornard. "It was just a lucky blow, my friend. We'll get you back to the Castle, so that you recover."
Tragon lays hands on Lornard to heal him for 4 hit points.
Badd wanders over and looks at the shiny things on the table.
There are three tables, and each has a shiny thing on it. On the first is a bracelet (25gp), on the second a small chalice (35gp) and on the third a Led Zeppelin belt buckle (10gp).
They do not look to be magical.
"Hey, did you see me fake out that skeleton? It knew I must have been between its legs, but couldn't work out where!"
He shrugs, then grins merrily. "Learnt that fighting style from Lo."
Zanax puts the skeletons out of their misery by holding up his holy symbol and turning them.
They continue to cower.
Zanax sighs and draws his frostbrand. "Drandar, help me put them out of their misery..."
Zanax heads over toward the skeletons.
Drandar eagerly joins Zanax, and crushes them with his mace. "Bang, Bang. Drandar's silver mace."
The two skeletons are quickly dispatched.
Amberle says, "So what's the plan? Do we go back stay here, continue on or what?"
"It seems that there are just mindless undead around here, so they're likely to just stay where they are and not roam around. Therefore, I say we find a defensible position near here and rest there."
"I guess we should go back to one of those bedrooms, then. Probably the safest place to rest."
"I was hoping to find a place that wouldn't trap us in with only one exit..."
Stump answers, "A place with only one exit is much easier to defend, though."
"And so far," adds Badd, "we haven't had to do a whole lot of running away in here."
"It's a paladin thing. If we can help it, we don't run away."
Lornard croaks out, "That sounds like the best idea to me. In any event, I must either retreat to the castle or rest here myself today. I thank Tragon for restoring my health, but nothing but rest will allow me to restore my strength."
"There is no need to thank me, Lornard."
"We should examine the objects on the table to see if there is any information we can learn from them."
"Why don't you do that? I'll stay near Lornard in case anything else tries to attack us."
Zanax nods. "I could, but I think a mage should look at the items...they might be magical.
"OK...let's finish up this room and then head back to one of the barracks."
"Lornard's going to be out until the day after tomorrow," says Kelene. "Do we want to spend two nights in this icky place?"
"I can live with ick," says Badd, brightly.
Zanax sighs, "Oh, I thought it was only one night. OK...let's grab the stuff and head out of this place."
"Can someone cast detect dagic on those items and look around, too?"
Zanax investigates the number of exits from this room.
You investigate the rooms from which the zombies came, since those doors are open. They are all the same (about 20' deep, curving back wall follows the curve of the tower wall). They stink of rotting material. Each room has a nice wooden bed frame with tattered blankets upon it, accompanied by a low bench and a dresser. Otherwise, they contain nothing of interest or value.
That leaves only one door to open: the one towards the end of the left wall as you came into this chamber.
It appears to be the last unexplored door on this level.
"OK...let's head out. We'll come back the day after tomorrow and check out that door and then maybe look for secret doors."
"Stump and Tragon, assist Lornard. Drandar will cover our six and I'll take point. Now let's move out."
Drandar frowns. "What is our six?"
Zanax shrugs, "I think it means our back...something I heard from that guy Logan once..."
"What guy Logan? Never mind," replies Drandar. "I will be rear guard."
Tragon bends down and lifts Lornard. "Stump, if you can take his weapons, I'll carry Lornard."
"Oh look," says Badd, wandering over to the door and opening it. "I bet I know what's in here. We've not found any sanitation arrangements yet, and that just doesn't make any sense."
"Crap!" Zanax mutters under his breath.
"Just so," says Badd, glad that at least someone understands.
Zanax puts one hand on his frostbrand and another on his holy symbol, waiting to see if Badd gets his head taken off by another undead.
Badd looks into a long chamber which essentially fills in the area. Cages line both walls. Larger cages filled with skeletal dogs are to the left while smaller cages with dead hawks line the right.
"AAAAROOOOO!!!" howl the dogs, as they burst from their cages - which are unlocked - and charge at you!
As the doggie skeletons rush you the dead hawks start screaming...then they open their cage doors with their beaks and fly out as well!
There are about a dozen of each coming at you.
"Eeeep!" shouts Badd in confusion as he scuttles away. "Where's the privy then?"
Zanax holds up his holy symbol and turns the dogs first and then the hawks.
One skeletal dog bursts into flames. The remainder attack Zanax or go charging into the chamber after the rest of you.
The skeletal dog attacking the paladin chips a tooth on his armour.
The monk backs up against a wall and swings at anything that comes at him.
He is bitten in the shin for 4 hit points, then Lo fans.
Badd hides under a table in a corner, and pokes anything that comes his way with his short sword.
Tragon puts Lornard under the same table and then looks at Badd.
"Anything happens to Lornard because of this and you'd better hope it happens to you twice as bad. Guard him with your life."
Badd stands over the body of Lornard.
"You're a paladin!" he explains to the departing Tragon.
"He's a paladin," he whispers in Lornard's ear. "Aren't they supposed to seek out and battle undead? I can't imagine why he's so fretful, but I think the worst he can do to us is use harsh language."
"Tragon is indeed a paladin," Lornard croaks out. "And he takes his responsibilities very seriously."
"Don't worry" says Badd. "If he gets mad, I'll protect you from him."
A dog lunges at Badd, who fans with his shortsword. The gnome is gnawed for 6 hit points.
Meanwhile, another skeletal dog starts chewing on Lornard's arm for 5 hit points. The ranger is helpless to defend himself, and lapses back into unconsciousness.
Tragon hurries back to the doorway to help out.
"Kelene, Amberle, try and turn them after Zanax."
Tragon swings wildly with the flat of his blade and misses a doggie. It lunges at him but misses as well.
Amberle shows her symbol: "Begone cursed of the holy mother."
All but one of the skeletal dogs run yelping back into the area whence they came.
Drandar is ready to smite whatever comes his way. The dwarf smites at the remaining bony canine, the one trying to bite Zanax, connects, smashing its wagging tail to bits.
In the meantime, Zanax turns the zombie birds.
All but one of them explode into holy fire and crash to the floor.
The last one lands on his shoulder.
"Pieces of eight!" it squawks, pecking unsuccessfully at his ear.
Zanax tries to delicately to kill the zombie bird without amputating his arm, managing to severely hurt it. It squawks again and hops onto the blade of his sword. The paladin swings it into the door jamb, cutting the bird in two in the process.
The last skeletal dog jumps at Zanax's rear, failing again to penetrate his armour. The eager dwarf swings his mace again, pulverising the skeleton against Zanax's posterior and sending the paladin sprawling to the floor in the process.
Kelene rushes over to Lornard, and again binds his wounds...
Lornard again regains consciousness to find that Kelene has patched him up.
All of the skeletons and zombies are either dead or turned.
Zanax is just picking himself up off of the floor.
Zanax looks around to make sure there are no other threats and then back up at Drandar.
After he gets up and dusts himself off, he goes and shuts the door where the skeletal hounds are cowering. "We put them out of their misery when we return."
"Thanks for the help...I think."
"Thank you, Kelene," Tragon says with a sigh of relief.
"Oops," says Badd. "Sorry 'bout that."
He shrugs at Tragon and then looks down at the gaping wound in his own chest.
"Well, not twice as bad," he says weakly. "A little worse, though."
"No more opening doors on your own initiative!" Tragon's voice grows in volume. "You see what your curiousness has gotten us? You almost got Lornard killed and got yourself wounded even more!"
Badd coughs.
"It's curiosity," he says in a detached voice, looking at the floor. "Not curiousness. Curiousness applies to the quality of being novel, not the quality of being inquisitive."
He seems quite deflated by the whole experience.
Tragon's tone and volume returns to normal. "Curiosity, then. You have to think through to the consequences of your actions, Badd. I know you meant no harm, but the door could've waited for another day."
Then Badd sits down next to Lornard in a heap. "I still want to know where they put the privy."
Lornard croaks out, "I'm not sure I feel up to using the privy any more. I think it's going to take me more than two days now to be ready to get going again."
"You can look for it when we come back."
Tragon wheels around at Lo.
"And you! You want to know what my problem is with you? You don't know how to keep your mouth closed. When Zanax was in this room exploring, quietly, you couldn't shut up and wait. No! You opened your fool mouth and alerted the skeletons to our presence! Had you any common sense, you would've waited, let Zanax discover what they were and he could have turned them before they had a chance to attack! You put the rest of us in needless danger."
"How the hell would I know that mindless skeletons would hear a voice from across the room?" Lo yells back. "I am new to this world and don't have a full grasp on what's going on!
"So there," he says as he crosses his arms over his chest, knowing that he gave the lamest reply in history.
"Lo, I think that is the first thing you have said that makes sense...ever," replies Drandar.
Tragon sighs. "Then may I make a suggestion? Take your cues from everyone else in the group. Save your questions for when others are willing to talk. And, by all means, err on the side of caution. That will more than likely keep you alive until you have a better grasp on our world."
Drandar whispers to Zanax, "Do all Paladins beat dead horses?"
"We certainly do our best."
Zanax sighs. "Only until they learn that not everyone is concerned with everyone's welfare..."
"Tragon," asks Badd, "Do you think spontaneity is a good thing?"
"In moderation. But, you could've taken into account the condition of the group before satisfying your curiosity."
Nason says, "I do! Tragon, you need to relax. Don't be so abusive."
Drandar frowns at the younger members of the group.
"There is a time, and a place for spontaneous actions, and that is what needs to be remembered. Especially when a decision has been made, to leave, for example, opening another door is always bad. One does not become an old adventurer by being spontaneous," replies the wise (ass?) old dwarf.
Nason says, "I don't disagree with that. My issue is with Tragon yelling and calling him a fool. It was a mistake which I would hope we would give him credit for not making again."
"I yelled at Badd and Lo. I only called Lo a fool and I was referring to his mouth when I said it. I didn't insult Badd."
"Agreed, and I agree Tragon was a bit vocal in his outburst," replies Drandar, "But then again, I've been around Paladins for a long time, so ignore most of what they say," he adds, winking at Zanax. "We take our lumps and learn our lessons, as reality is the greatest of all teachers."
Nason nods.
"I see the wisdom in that."
Drandar looks at Nason.
"Muad'Dib?" the dwarf asks curiously. "Are your eyes blue, by any chance?"
"That is a curious question. What does it mean?" Nason asks.
"If you knew the answer, you would not ask the question," replies Drandar.
"It's said there are old gnomes, and bold gnomes, but no old, bold gnomes," says Badd. "But It's also said no gnome should outlive his children. I haven't decided which proverb I prefer."
"Cautious boldness is what is called for. Thinking before acting," says Drandar. "Dwarves are a cautious lot, and that is important in long life."
"I did think!" volunteers Badd. "I thought it was the privy!"
"But, did you think about what would happen should you proven wrong? Or if there was something lurking behind the door, no matter what it was?"
Badd wrinkles his nose. "Who'd lurk in a privy?"
"I don't think you want to find out," says Drandar.
"Someone who had a bad case of the shits!" Stump laughs.
Amberle says, "Not quite the happy family I was first shown but more realistic, I think. It was quite an interesting first day. I think I'll heal myself before another door is opened."
She cures herself for 6 hit points.
Drandar raises an eyebrow. "First Maud'ib, and not Chinese food? What next?"
"Yes, you announced that. However, we had decided to leave. Opening the door to determine if it was a privy was a poor action. We were unprepared for the possibility of danger, and we have one party member critically injured," the dwarf says.
"Badd, we are all alive, and can march out of here. We'll be back to explore. All I ask is that you listen to what everyone has decided, and please don't go opening doors without making sure everyone is ready. I don't want to lose you to your curiousity."
"Besides, privies in dungeons like this are very nasty places."
Badd shrugs. "It seemed like a good idea at the time. I know it turned out not to be."
He looks up at Tragon. "But you can see the unassailable logic can't you? I mean even wizards, and the servants of wizards... there has to be a privy somewhere! And it was the only door we hadn't looked in. It's not my fault the world's a crazy place."
"True, but what have been so truly awful to wait until we returned? You could have Stump mark on his map that you suspected it was a privy. And it wasn't like anyone disagreed with you."
He pauses, as if considering those words for a moment. "Well, not all my fault."
"Most dungeons don't have privies," educates Kelene, "That's why the inhabitants of them are always in such a bad temper."
"Uh," Lornard croaks out, "Tragon has a point. Look at us. We're a mess. Spontaneity may have its uses, but our current situation and the events Tragon mentions pretty clearly show that we might do well with a bit more discipline."
After hearing some of the comments from Tragon and Badd, Zanax comments, "Badd, being spontaneous is not necessarily bad, but you need to consider the consequences of your actions...half the stupid doors in this place we opened let undead out, but at least we were ready for them!"
"Oh," says Badd. "Structured spontaneity. Controlled Creativity."
"Nope. More like concern for your comrades. Like not taking too many chances when we have a party member who is defenseless."
Badd sloppily salutes Tragon.
"Private Badd awaiting orders, Sir!"
Tragon gives him a half smile, aware that he's being mocked. "I'm a private as well, Badd. I take my orders from Zanax and Drandar. I also watch them closely and take my cues from them."
"Well, that's the way to learn if you want to be like them," replies Badd brightly. "I don't think it will work quite as well for me."
"Kelene, is Lornard okay to travel, yet? We should get him out of here as soon as possible. Tragon and Stump, help him out...Drandar, cover our rear and I'll take point."
"I think we should make a litter for him," the drow replies, as she takes out a thermometer and prepares to insert it up Lornard's rear end.
Stump adds, "We could always rig him up with a diaper. I'm just not volunteering to change him when he soils himself."
Tragon bends to pick up Lornard again and says quietly, "I'm sorry that I wasn't able to keep the dogs from wounding you further, my friend."
"No apology necessary; thanks to your efforts and the others, we are all still alive. Battle wounds are a hazard of battle."
"Stump, could you please pick up his weapons again? Thank you."
"Yup! Are we done arguing now?" he asks.
"NO," says Drandar.
Zanax clanks Drandar on the head, hurting his mailed hand more than the dwarf's head, and says, "Hey! Stop instigating...you're supposed to set an example here!"
"Thank you Zanax, for a minute there, I was beginning to sound like Tragon over there. Starting arguing and all. Let's go, Stump," says the dwarf, "Wait, you go first, I gots to bring up youse guys rears."
Stump shows you the map.
"When we are back tomorrow, we can finish exploring the north end of the room before we check out the stairs," Stump remarks.
Amberle says, "I guess we have to go back now."
You head back out through the main entrance. It is mid afternoon. The dwarves greet you, frisk you, and relieve you of the gold chalice. They show no interest in the magic scimitar.
Continuing on your way, you reach Castle Greyhawk shortly before dinnertime. Lornard is put to bed, and the rest of you join the remainder of the group for dinner with Akitrom and his beautiful daughter, Risotta.
Joining you soon thereafter is Occa. With him is a petite woman whose anatomy is covered in tattoos. Many of you know her already: she is Rage, late of the party led by that neurotic ranger, Kadlian.
"Hey, Occa, Rage. How's it going?" asks Badd, buttering two slices of bread and wrapping them around a large quantity of vegetables, then balancing a hunk of meat on the top and trying to jam it all into his mouth.
"Hello Badd," replies the mage.
"You seem a lot happier," says Badd. "I'm glad. When you didn't come back to Occa's place I thought maybe something bad had happened to you."
"I am learning and applying my magics," replies the woman, "Having been ripped from my existence, it was good to come here to begin anew."
"A fresh start is a good thing," says Badd. "Although it can take longer to get over things than I thought it would."
"The secret is in the control."
He stuffs a whole partridge, almost as large as his head, into a pouch in his cheek.
Rage turns away from the sight in disgust.
Amberle bows to Akitrom and his daughter. "Thank you again for your hospitality Lord Akitrom."
"The honour is mine," Akitrom replies, returning the bow. "It is a pleasure to have someone as pleasant and well mannered as you in my household."
Amberle bows her head. "You are too kind my Lord. I must say that is an interesting tower."
Zanax bows toward the Akitrom and Risotta. "Good evening, Lord Akitrom."
Zanax smiles. "And a good evening to you, Lady Risotta. As lovely as ever."
She blushes and smiles.
"Thank you for your hospitality, Lord, and that of your company as well as your beautiful daughter!" Lo says with a bow to Akitrom and then Risotta.
"Hello Occa and Rage," Lo says with a nod to each.
"Do I know you?" the woman asks. "Have you annoyed me in the past?"
Zanax raises an eyebrow. "Rage? Is that you?"
The female looks at Zanax, blinking several times, "Zanax? I had heard that you were alive. What are you doing here?"
"I am on a quest. Our group just returned from the towers to allow one of our members to heal. And you?"
"I hope your quest goes better than the last one we were on together. Of course, that lead to this point, so overall, it is well. I am here, to learn and try to gain control," she says, "There was this wish, you see, and the rest is history."
Drandar looks at the tattooed woman. "Eh, Zanax, who's the dame?"
Robert nudges Gilstrock.
"He'll be sorry he asked that," he mutters.
"Yea, whatever," replies the dwarf. "Lets go celebrate Badd's accomplishments," he says, pulling out a small sack of coins. "Oh, and Lo's as well."
Gilstrock, slouching low in his chair and trying to stay mostly hidden behind a large stein of beer, says back in a low voice, "We just gotta keep from gettin' in between them, is all."
"I do not understand you meaning, sir," says the woman to Gilstrock. "Are you implying something?"
"Her name is Rage. She's a powerful mage...and a temper to match that power," Zanax replies matter-of-factly.
Rage nods. "Indeed I am, dwarf."
Occa says, "Hello all."
He looks over at Zanax and smiles. "I think you might be surprised. Rage is a new person...literally. If you can...let go of any preconceptions you have about her. She has finally become herself and that is a very good thing."
Zanax shrugs. "Actions speaks louder than words, so we shall see."
"An intersting comment, friend," the woman says.
Occa looks over at the group. "How do you all fare in the dungeon?"
"We fare ok, but we move slowly. The place is swarming with undead. Mostly skeletons and zombies."
Zanax shakes his head. "We defeat them with fair ease, but not without injuries. As such, we are often forced to stop and let some members heal."
Nason says, "At least you aren't a one hit wonder. One magic missile and I am pretty much done till everyone else is injured!"
He sighs and eats some more comfort food.
Occa chuckles. "I remember those days. Be patient."
"And we know why Zagyg left," adds Badd. "No toilet facilities."
"Hrump," replies the dwarf, off to look for ale. "Anyone up for some barhopping?"
"Aye," says Robert, rising from his seat.
"Hey yeah!" says Badd, finally chewing and swallowing the last morsel of an enormous quantity of food. "Beer. Song. Karaoke! Let's do it."
"Karaoke? Wasn't he an evil mage?" asks Drandar. "In lines with the mage Otto, one did song, the other dance?"
Lornard spends the next two days in bed recovering.